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A LARP in the Woods

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki


A LARP in the Woods
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 5
Update: The Mayflower Maple Bowl
Required characters: Lisa, Homer
Optional characters: Bart, Scouting Bart, Puritan Lovejoy, Marge, Ned, Wiggum, Milhouse
Previous quest(s): Be Prepared...to Nap
Next quest(s): A Nap Deferred

A LARP in the Woods is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in The Mayflower Maple Bowl content update.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After completing Be Prepared...to Nap
Homer ou two are gonna love it here! Camp Nap-A-Lot was my favorite place as a kid. We napped in tents and canoes all day, and at night we'd nap around the campfire!
Scouting Lisa - Curious Weird that they don't have a sign now.
Homer Eh, probably some Junior Campers swiped it for their Mischief merit badges.
Scouting Lisa - Nagging That's not actually a thing.
Scouting Bart - Confused Is that a cowboy on a horse?
Homer Is he sleeping? The older campers learned how to nap on horseback.
Scouting Lisa - Confused There are some early Renaissance French knights over there...
Scouting Bart - Thinking I think those might be post-apocalyptic bikers heading down that other trail.
Homer - Confused Are they time travelers? Does anyone see Professor Frink?
Scouting Lisa - Nervous Excuse me, uh, Sir Knight. Can you tell us what's happening here?
French Knight - Happy Oh, ho, ho! Mais oui, mademoiselle! The people who used to own this campground sold it to the United Live Action Role Players of America — or U-LARPA for short.
Scouting Lisa - Curious That's very cool, but who are those people at the picnic cabana dressed in suits?
French Knight Oh, they're the "West Wing" crowd. They're LARPing a version of America where our political system isn't completely corrupt and dysfunctional and good people really can make a difference.
Scouting Bart - Smug So fantasy roleplayers, basically.
Task: "Collect Merit Badges" (x155).
Task: "Make Homer Wonder if This Is Another Time Travel Event". The job takes place at Camping or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Bart or Scouting Bart is owned: Task: "Make Scouting Bart Feel Conflicted". The job takes place at Camping or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Lisa Feel Depressed About America". The job takes place at Camping or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Homer - Annoyed Well this completely stinks!
Scouting Bart - Thinking I don't know. I feel conflicted. I can't decide if I want to join the wasteland bikers or make fun of LARPers.
French Knight - Surprised Zut alors! If you want to stay, you have to be some kind of LARP group.
Scouting Lisa - Annoyed Can we LARP as a dysfunctional American family?
French Knight - Happy That works!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Scout Tent

Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Pt. 1
Homer Okay, we've found a nice quiet spot equally distant from all the weirdos. You two can get started on your first merit badge: letting Daddy get some shut-eye.
Scouting Lisa - Annoyed That's not a real merit badge!
Homer - Proud Sounds like "good citizenship" to me.
Scouting Lisa - Shouting We want to earn our badges!
Homer - Annoyed Is there one for debating?
Scouting Lisa - Happy Yes, but we need to have three more arguments to qualify.
Scouting Bart Let the man sleep, Lis. He'll sign off on whatever badges we want later.
Scouting Lisa - Confused I thought you wanted to earn your badges.
Scouting Bart - Annoyed What? Have you been listening to a word I've said? Or were you just tapping through the dialogue without reading it?
Task: "Collect Merit Badges" (x125).
Task: "Make Lisa Fight with Bart". The job takes place at Camping or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Scouting Bart or Bart is owned: Task: "Make Scouting Bart/Bart Fight with Lisa". The job takes place at Camping or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Homer Finally Start to Nap". The job takes place at Camping or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If any LARPers are owned: Task: "Make LARPers Interrupt Homer's Nap" (x3). The job takes place at Camping or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Scouting Lisa - Shouting Cheater!
Scouting Bart - Angry Goody Two-Shoes!
Homer - Angry QUIET!
Canadian Footballer - Angry Yeah, shut it, you pilgrim hose heads!
Puritan Lovejoy - Annoyed That's what I was going to say to you, you heretical Canadian football jock!
Scouting Bart - Confused This took a turn.
Puritan Lovejoy - Annoyed Speaking of heresy, why am I not surprised to find Homer Simpson in the middle of all of this! Of course you're a football fan— you embrace everything gluttonous and sinful!
Homer I'm just playing the odds: Sin is underrated against virtue. But I support real American football, not phony Canadian football.
Homer - Annoyed And don't even mention those guys who call soccer football and then act like we're stupid for knowing what's really what. It makes me so angry and confused!
Scouting Lisa - Confused Reverend Lovejoy, can you please tell us what is going on?
Canadian Footballer - Annoyed Your family is camping between two warring LARP factions, that's what's going on!
Puritan Lovejoy - Angry Those raucous Canadian football LARPers keep ruining our godly pilgrim ambience with their loud 110-yard-long, 65-yard-wide games!
Canadian Footballer - Angry And you pilgrims keep ruining our games with the smell of hand-churned butter!
Homer - Drool Mmmm! Butter!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Forest Stream

Pt. 3[edit]

After completing Pt. 2
Scouting Lisa Reverend Lovejoy, the attention to historical detail at your pilgrim village is really amazing!
Puritan Lovejoy Why, thank you, Lisa.
Scouting Lisa - Happy I mean, it's fantastic to see so many people working together for the collective good without any interference from profit-seeking businessmen or—
Puritan Lovejoy - Annoyed You know, we're looking for a lead for our witch trials reenactment, and you would be perfect.
Scouting Lisa - Nervous Oh, heh, I think Mrs. Lovejoy needs help churning butter, gottagobye!
Task: "Collect Merit Badges" (x125).
Task: "Make Lisa Earn a Role in the Pilgrim LARP". The job takes place at Camping or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Scouting Bart or Bart is owned: Task: "Make Scouting Bart/Bart Train in Canadian Football". The job takes place at Camping or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Homer Try to Nap Again". The job takes place at Camping or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Football Bart - Happy Wow, I can't believe you had a uniform in my size. This is awesome!
Canadian Footballer - Happy Canadians are all either tiny or huge. Many people outside of Canada don't know aboot that.
Football Bart Can I take a few snaps at quarterback?
Canadian Footballer - Happy Of course!
Football Bart - Happy Twenty-seven! Thirty-two! Hut-hut!
Football Bart - Confused ...Why isn't the rest of the team doing anything?
Canadian Footballer You have to say "Hut-hut, eh?"
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Canadian Football Players

Pt. 4[edit]

After completing Pt. 3
Pilgrim Lisa Thank you for inviting me to your pilgrim village, Reverend Lovejoy. But I'm not sure a patriarchal theocracy has much to offer me.
Puritan Lovejoy Did I mention that our main activity is scolding others for not living up to our moral standards?
Pilgrim Lisa - Happy I'm in!
Puritan Lovejoy - Happy Buckle your hat, Lisa, you're in for the moralistic adventure of a lifetime!
Narrator Meanwhile, at the Field Goal of Dreams field...
Canadian Footballer Ah, those pilgrim LARPers honestly aren't that bad. We just get a little worked up playing the greatest brand of football in the world.
Football Bart - Annoyed Aren't that bad? My sister's hanging out with them now, and turned into a holier-than-thou know-it-all!
Canadian Footballer - Annoyed Now that you mention it, so are those pilgrims! They called us heretics because we put the goalposts at the front of the endzones.
Canadian Footballer - Annoyed They said God predestined goalposts to be at the back of the endzone.
Football Bart I say we have the free will to place goalposts wherever we want... including in front of their church!
Canadian Footballer - Angry Yeah! Let's go!
Football Bart - Sneaky Oh, this is too much fun.
Task: "Collect Merit Badges" (x155).
Task: "Make Lisa Complain to Pilgrims About Bart". The job takes place at Camping or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Scouting Bart or Bart is owned: Task: "Make Scouting Bart/Bart Complain to Canadian Footballers About Lisa". The job takes place at Camping or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Homer Give Up on Napping". The job takes place at Camping or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Canadian Footballer - Angry Your rickety wooden prayer hut is weaker than a Newfy's French! You'd better move to the other side of the park if you don't want us to break your church into more pieces than an episode of SCTV on ViewTube.
Football Bart - Happy Ha! Good one...I think!
Puritan Lovejoy - Annoyed Well, putting maple syrup on everything at your concession stand is an abomination! God's chosen condiments are ketchup, mustard, and onions!
Pilgrim Lisa - Sad Good...one? *sigh*
Homer - Angry Why can't you both just shut up?! A man is trying to nap here!
Puritan Lovejoy - Angry He's right! We're going to shun you with the famous Puritan silent treatment!
Canadian Footballer - Angry Fine! We'll do the same thing, but in a very Canadian way.
Football Bart - Confused Which is...?
Canadian Footballer - Annoyed We'll sit and silently pout on our Chesterfield.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Field Goal of Dreams

Pt. 5[edit]

After completing Pt. 4
Pilgrim Lisa - Shocked So, wait, you're just going to not do anything, even with tourists coming to watch?
Puritan Lovejoy - Annoyed That's right.
Football Bart - Surprised But...but we were getting to participate and everything! I even learned what a kilometer was to be more authentically Canadian.
Homer - Thoughtful What is a kilometer?
Football Bart - Annoyed It's like a mile but shorter and with less freedom.
Canadian Footballer - Annoyed Well, there's not going to be any Canadian football game here today!
Puritan Lovejoy - Annoyed Or any Puritan reenactment! The Canadian Footballers have destroyed our historic authenticity!
Canadian Footballer - Annoyed The Lovejoy killjoys have made us feel bad about drinking, gambling, and idling, the holy trinity for sports fans!
Pilgrim Lisa What if you could combine your conflicting fantasy worlds into one giant super-LARP?
Puritan Lovejoy - Confused How would that even work?
Pilgrim Lisa You could play a game of Canadian football and then celebrate with a feast of historic Puritan dishes.
Canadian Footballer - Annoyed Can the feast include poutine?
Pilgrim Lisa What do you say, Reverend?
Puritan Lovejoy I suppose we could sub it for the oyster stuffing. Nobody likes that.
Puritan Lovejoy - Happy Can we hold a three-hour church service between the game and feast?
Pilgrim Lisa How about starting the meal with a blessing?
Puritan Lovejoy - Happy Deal! Praise the Lord and pass the butter churn!
Pilgrim Lisa - Happy And we'll call this holiday Canadian Thanksgiving!
Homer - WooHoo WOOHOO!
Canadian Footballer - Annoyed Wait, is that some kind of shot?
Task: "Collect Merit Badges" (x190).
Task: "Make Lisa Share Butter She Churned Herself". The job takes place at Camping or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Scouting Bart or Bart is owned: Task: "Make Scouting Bart/Bart Pass the Bread...Literally". The job takes place at Camping or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Homer Start Eating Before the Blessing". The job takes place at Camping or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Puritan Lovejoy is owned: Task: "Make Puritan Lovejoy Say a Blessing". The job takes place at Camping or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Scouting Lisa

Currency-earning jobs[edit]

Task Character(s) Time Location(s) Reward
Earn Merit Badges Homer, Lisa, Marge, Ned, Wiggum, Milhouse 4h Camping or a Brown House Merit Badges5, XP45
Buy Merit Badges Puritan Lovejoy, Scouting Bart Shops Merit Badges8, XP70