| A Dame to Swill For
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| Comic Story information
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A Dame to Swill For is a Simpsons Comics story first printed in Simpsons Comics #226.
Moe's is visited by a beautiful dame who tells Moe that she is in trouble. She has secretly been dating two men and she believes they have discovered it. The guys are Fat Tony and Mayor Quimby. She accidentally sent the wrong text message to the wrong guy because she calls them "Mystery Man 1" and "2" on her phone. Both are coming to Moe's any time to meet her, and she does not know what she should do. Moe promises to help her. Fat Tony and Quimby arrive at Moe's, where they decide to compete to see who can win her heart by giving her the best presents. They give her presents and leave Moe's again to find the best gift. Moe checks the dame's phone and discovers she calls them by their real names, and realizes that she sent the wrong text just to get gifts. The lady does not say whether Moe is right or wrong, leaving Moe's with a bankroll, which makes him happy, but then he starts to worry about what could have happened when the two came in.
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