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Difference between revisions of "The Man of the House/Quotes"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
m
Line 27: Line 27:
 
:''[Ralph pours in the milk]''
 
:''[Ralph pours in the milk]''
 
:'''Ralph''': First, you add milk...
 
:'''Ralph''': First, you add milk...
:'[Ralph then cracks eggs over the toaster]''
+
:''[Ralph then cracks eggs over the toaster]''
 
:'''Ralph''': ... And then some easter bunny eggs... Eww. My waffles are getting soggy in there. I need to add some flowers.
 
:'''Ralph''': ... And then some easter bunny eggs... Eww. My waffles are getting soggy in there. I need to add some flowers.
 
:''[Ralph attempts to get flour, but falls and the flour is all over him]''
 
:''[Ralph attempts to get flour, but falls and the flour is all over him]''
Line 39: Line 39:
 
:''[The mop breaks and is all filled with water]''
 
:''[The mop breaks and is all filled with water]''
 
:'''Ralph''': Oh, just look at yourself, Mighty Mop! You need a shampoo! I'll give you a special ''swirly'' shampoo, like the ones I get from my friends at [[Springfield Elementary School|school]]!
 
:'''Ralph''': Oh, just look at yourself, Mighty Mop! You need a shampoo! I'll give you a special ''swirly'' shampoo, like the ones I get from my friends at [[Springfield Elementary School|school]]!
 +
:''[Ralph puts the mop in the toilet and starts flushing it]''
 +
:'''Ralph''': Uh-oh. Mighty mop is wetting himself. He needs to put on a pair of my "[[I'm a Big Boy Now]]" diapers.
 +
:''[Smoke alarms go off throughout the house]''
 +
:'''Ralph''': Don't be alarmed, Mr. Smokey Detector! It's just me... Ralph!
 +
:''[Ralph walks into his room, as water starts to fill from the toilet]''
 +
:'''Ralph''': I forgot why I came in here for.  ''[looks at the toy boat and starts singing]'' Toy boat! Toy boat! Toy boat! Sailing, sailing, over the pounding brain!
 +
:''[Someone knocks on the front door]''
 +
:'''Ralph''': I think someone's knocking at the front door!
 +
:''[Someone smashes the front door with an axe]''
 +
:'''Ralph''': ''[looks at the fireman madly]'' Bad man! You broke and entered! Daddy's gonna put you in the jail house!
 +
:'''Ralph''': ''[outside, as the firemen try to put out the fire]'' I made coffee and toaster waffles for everyone!
 +
:'''Clancy''': I can't understand it! I only went out to the driveway to get the newspaper!

Revision as of 16:02, May 31, 2012



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Clancy: Daddy has to run out for just a minute, Ralphie. You're in charge 'til I get back. Okay?
Ralph: Yes, daddy!
Clancy: I won't be gone long, son.
Ralph: Okay, daddy!
[Ralph shuts the door]
Ralph: That makes me the man of the house. I'm just like daddy now, 'cept I'm smaller and my pants are wetter.
[Ralph locks the door]
Ralph: First, I must secure the perimeter.
[Ralph walks into the kitchen]
Ralph: Now, it's time for a man of the house meal! Okay, kitchen... I'm the boss of you now! That goes for you too, Mr. Fridgergator!
[Ralph walks to the coffee maker]
Ralph: I'll make a pot of coffee like the grown-up men drink!
[Ralph pours a vase with water and flowers inside]
Ralph: First you add water.
[Ralph pours coffee mix]
Ralph: Then, you add the coffee peanuts.
[Ralph pours pure sugar and milk]
Ralph: Daddy likes his coffee with cream and sugar!
[Ralph puts the coffee maker in the stove, as the kitchen is already a mess]
Ralph: And now, you put it in the cooking machine.
[Ralph turns it on 500 degrees]
Ralph: Now I'll make some instant toaster waffles!
Ralph: [singing] I am the egg man! I am the milkman! I am the waffle! Koo koo kachoo!
[Ralph pours in the milk]
Ralph: First, you add milk...
[Ralph then cracks eggs over the toaster]
Ralph: ... And then some easter bunny eggs... Eww. My waffles are getting soggy in there. I need to add some flowers.
[Ralph attempts to get flour, but falls and the flour is all over him]
Ralph: [enjoying the flour] Wheee! I'm fairy-dusted! :[smelling coffee] Mmm... smell that fresh roasted coffee! :[smoke fills the room]
[Ralph looks at the mess on the floor]
Ralph: Uh-oh. I made a mess! Daddy will be mad! This looks like a job for my friend, Mighty Mop!
[Ralph goes into the broom closet and picks it up]
Ralph: Gee, your hair smells terrific!
[Ralph starts mopping]
Ralph: Tra la la. I feel like I'm in a movie and soon I'll turn into a beautiful princess!
[The mop breaks and is all filled with water]
Ralph: Oh, just look at yourself, Mighty Mop! You need a shampoo! I'll give you a special swirly shampoo, like the ones I get from my friends at school!
[Ralph puts the mop in the toilet and starts flushing it]
Ralph: Uh-oh. Mighty mop is wetting himself. He needs to put on a pair of my "I'm a Big Boy Now" diapers.
[Smoke alarms go off throughout the house]
Ralph: Don't be alarmed, Mr. Smokey Detector! It's just me... Ralph!
[Ralph walks into his room, as water starts to fill from the toilet]
Ralph: I forgot why I came in here for. [looks at the toy boat and starts singing] Toy boat! Toy boat! Toy boat! Sailing, sailing, over the pounding brain!
[Someone knocks on the front door]
Ralph: I think someone's knocking at the front door!
[Someone smashes the front door with an axe]
Ralph: [looks at the fireman madly] Bad man! You broke and entered! Daddy's gonna put you in the jail house!
Ralph: [outside, as the firemen try to put out the fire] I made coffee and toaster waffles for everyone!
Clancy: I can't understand it! I only went out to the driveway to get the newspaper!