Difference between revisions of "Flaming Moe/Quotes"
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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:'''Smithers''': Sir, is that your will? | :'''Smithers''': Sir, is that your will? | ||
| − | :'''Mr. Burns''': It is. I know it's hard to see a young buck like me and think of a day when I'm no longer in the pink.. | + | :'''[[Mr. Burns]]''': It is. I know it's hard to see a young buck like me and think of a day when I'm no longer in the pink.. |
:''Mr. Burns sneezes, and the top of his skull flips open to reveal his brain. He quickly flips it back, closing his head'' | :''Mr. Burns sneezes, and the top of his skull flips open to reveal his brain. He quickly flips it back, closing his head'' | ||
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| − | :''Mr. Burns is riding on his lawyer's back, pretending he is riding a dinosaur. Homer walks into the room. | + | :''[After his half hour of lucidity passes, Mr. Burns is riding on his lawyer's back, pretending he is riding a dinosaur. [[Homer]] walks into the room.]]'' |
| − | :'''Homer''': | + | :'''Homer''': "Aaagghhh! A dinosaur!" ''[Runs out of the room screaming]'' |
| − | |||
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| − | :'' | + | :''[After Mr. Burns refuses to let [[Smithers]] see his will, Smithers sneaks into the office and has a look at it.]'' |
| − | :''' | + | :'''Smithers''' ''[reading Burns' will aloud]'': "I, C. Montgomery Burns, hereby divide my estate and shares between the University Department of Applied Evil, Gary from Gary's Trap-Door Installation & Repair and finally, to my constant companion ..." |
| − | :''Cut to Smithers confronting Mr. Burns'' | + | :''[Cut to Smithers confronting Mr. Burns.]'' |
| − | :'''Smithers''': Your tortoise? | + | :'''Smithers''': ''[indignant]'' "Your ''tortoise''?!" |
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :''[Disappointed at learning he's been left out of Mr. Burns' will, Smithers decides to console himself by visiting [[Springfield]]'s gay nightclub, [[The League of Extra-Horny Gentlemen]].]'' | ||
| + | :'''Smithers'': "Here's a place I can feel wanted." | ||
| + | :''[He gets in line outside the bar, where a doorman next to a velvet rope is screening who gets to go inside.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Doorman''': "You with the six-pack, you're in." ''[He moves on to the next man in line.]'' | ||
| + | :"You with the Ben Affleck chin and the Matt Damon everything else, guess what. You're in." | ||
| + | :''[The doorman admits the next three men in line.''] "In. In. In." | ||
| + | :''[To a man in a pink outfit]'' "Aahh." ''[The doorman smiles. Smithers arrives at the head of the line.]'' | ||
| + | :'''Doorman''': ''[to Smithers]]'' "In your '''dreams'''." | ||
| + | :'''Smithers''': "Oh, c'mon, I've had a rough day." | ||
| + | :'''Doorman''': "With the buzz cut and the bow tie? This is a nightclub, not a John F. Kennedy cabinet meeting." | ||
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:''Smithers tries to persuade a group of Springfield's unattractive homosexuals to visit Moe's Tarvern'' | :''Smithers tries to persuade a group of Springfield's unattractive homosexuals to visit Moe's Tarvern'' | ||
Revision as of 13:00, February 19, 2011
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- Homer: "Oh, no! I left a candy bar in my desk!"
- Late shift worker: "That's funny, 'cause I found this candy bar in my desk!" [eats the candy bar]
- Homer: [angry, balling his fists] "Time to punch in!"
- [Homer hits his late-shift counterpart, and a brawl quickly ensues.]
- Smithers: "Sir, the shifts are fighting like Iran and Iraq!"
- Mr. Burns: "Who?"
- Smithers: "Persia and Mesopotamia."
- Smithers: Sir, is that your will?
- Mr. Burns: It is. I know it's hard to see a young buck like me and think of a day when I'm no longer in the pink..
- Mr. Burns sneezes, and the top of his skull flips open to reveal his brain. He quickly flips it back, closing his head
- [After his half hour of lucidity passes, Mr. Burns is riding on his lawyer's back, pretending he is riding a dinosaur. Homer walks into the room.]]
- Homer: "Aaagghhh! A dinosaur!" [Runs out of the room screaming]
- [After Mr. Burns refuses to let Smithers see his will, Smithers sneaks into the office and has a look at it.]
- Smithers [reading Burns' will aloud]: "I, C. Montgomery Burns, hereby divide my estate and shares between the University Department of Applied Evil, Gary from Gary's Trap-Door Installation & Repair and finally, to my constant companion ..."
- [Cut to Smithers confronting Mr. Burns.]
- Smithers: [indignant] "Your tortoise?!"
- [Disappointed at learning he's been left out of Mr. Burns' will, Smithers decides to console himself by visiting Springfield's gay nightclub, The League of Extra-Horny Gentlemen.]
- 'Smithers: "Here's a place I can feel wanted."
- [He gets in line outside the bar, where a doorman next to a velvet rope is screening who gets to go inside.]
- Doorman: "You with the six-pack, you're in." [He moves on to the next man in line.]
- "You with the Ben Affleck chin and the Matt Damon everything else, guess what. You're in."
- [The doorman admits the next three men in line.] "In. In. In."
- [To a man in a pink outfit] "Aahh." [The doorman smiles. Smithers arrives at the head of the line.]
- Doorman: [to Smithers]] "In your dreams."
- Smithers: "Oh, c'mon, I've had a rough day."
- Doorman: "With the buzz cut and the bow tie? This is a nightclub, not a John F. Kennedy cabinet meeting."
- Smithers tries to persuade a group of Springfield's unattractive homosexuals to visit Moe's Tarvern
- Grady: Ew! Isn't that the place where all those rats committed suicide?
- Homer bumps into a Comic Book Guy look-a-like thinking it is him
- Homer: Hey, I didn't know you were...urgh...you know...one of those...
- Comic Book Gay: I am not Comic Book Guy. I am his cousin, Comic Book Gay.
- Homer: But you do like comic books?
- Comic Book Gay: A certain kind.
- Smithers: Can I have a scotch and water?
- Moe: My scotch is a scotch and water.
- Moe: Not bad. Like Frisbee Golf, I'm glad I tried it once.
- Superintendent Chalmers: Willie, you're the new principal.
- Willie: Who's the new groundskeeper?
- Superintendent Chalmers: Also you. And you don't get more money.
