The Book of Jobs/Quotes
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- Lindsey Naegle: Mr. Simpson, it looks like you've invented a new bakery treat! Half fritter, half macaroon. We call them "Frittaroons!"
- Marge: Lindsey Naegle? What are you doing here?
- Lindsey Naegle: Hello, Marge! I'm always on the hunt for new innovative ideas and ways to "Zuckerberg" my way into a creator credit.
- Homer: Brad and Neil from Powersauce?
- Neil: That's us!
- Brad: Actually, we had to stop selling Powersauce bars since the FDA discredited all of our claims.
- Neil: But now we have anew idea that is guaranteed to work. The neanderthal diet. You can only eat foods that a caveman would eat!
- Brad: And your body type makes your the perfect before model!
- Neil: We need you eat meat!
- Brad: Lots and lots of meat
- Homer: Woo-hoo!
- Brad: Sadly, you can't eat Fritaroons on the Neanderthal diet! No carbs.
- Homer: D-d-d'oh!
- Homer: I've got to say, Marge. Helping others felt pretty good!
- Marge: Then keep doing it! You get so many different job offers that you could start your own employment office.
- Homer: Really?
- Marge: Yes! And it's a lot safer than running wild with your usual ideas.
- Homer: Okay! I just texted Mr. Smithers and quit my job!
- Marge: Homer, you didn't have to do that.
- Homer: They'll have to hire someone new to replace me. See, Marge? I'm already creating jobs for this city!
- Marge: Hrmmm...
- Comic Book Guy: Bwa-ha-ha! I feel like a god! Like Mastermind, The Pupper Master or The Anti-Life equation... I control Springfield's every move!
- The Rich Texan: Mr. Simpson, you worked real hard this past week. My insurance company desperately could use a man like you! We'd like you to be our new claims adjuster.
- Homer: What does that mean?
- The Rich Texan: You figure out how much yo pay our customers if they ever get in an accident! It's a nice, cushy desk job! Bang bang!
- Homer: Can I, Marge? It's always been my dream to work in the insurance industry!
- Marge: Go right ahead. Maybe a conformable, stable job is just what you needed. I mean, chaos can't follow your everywhere, right?