So Dumb (Homer's Lament)
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| "So Dumb (Homer's Lament)" | ||||||||||
Song Information
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"So Dumb (Homer's Lament)" is a track off of Dan Castellaneta's second album I Am Not Homer. It is the only track on the album that actually has anything to do with The Simpsons. It features a majority of the major characters that Castellaneta plays on the show including Homer, Grampa, Barney, Groundskeeper Willie and Krusty. The song was written by Castellaneta.
Lyrics
- Curt:
- Alright, Homer, studio's all yours.
- Homer:
- Thanks, Curt.
- (cymbals are heard crashing)
- Grampa:
- Why did you take me out of the home? What is this place?
- Homer:
- It's a recording studio, Dad. I want you to sing on my record.
- Groundskeeper Willie:
- Don't play with those!
- Barney:
- I'm not playin', I fell backwards.
- Groundskeeper Willie:
- Oh, sorry.
- Barney:
- Uh-oh, some rock musician puked in here last night!
- Grampa:
- Ewww!
- Groundskeeper Willie:
- I'm not cleanin' it up.
- Barney:
- (sniffs) Wait, it's mine.
- Homer:
- Barney!
- Krusty:
- Hey, what's goin' on here?
- Homer:
- Oh, hi, Krusty. We're laying in the background vocals of my hit song.
- Krusty:
- Hey, I'm s'posed to have this studio to record my new doll, Talking Krusty.
- Homer:
- Oh, I'm sorry, Krusty, but we do have the studio from 8:05 to 8:10.
- Groundskeeper Willie:
- That's right, clown.
- Krusty:
- All right. I'm gonna be across the street banking a few business transactions and I'll be back. And once I'm here, you're outta here.
- Homer:
- Okay, we better hurry up, guys. Now, let's hear your parts.
- (everyone sings in imperfect harmony)
- Homer:
- Good...good...alright, well, when I put a reverb on it, it'll sound great. Hey, Barney, what are you doin'?
- Barney:
- Settin' up my tape recorder.
- Homer:
- What for?
- Barney:
- I'm gonna record this session.
- Homer:
- What?
- Barney:
- Yeah, I'm gonna bootleg the record.
- Groundskeeper Willie:
- Bootleg?
- Homer:
- No bootlegging!
- Barney:
- But—
- Homer:
- Turn it off!
- Barney:
- But, Ho—
- Homer:
- Turn it off!
- Barney:
- All right.
- Homer:
- Alright, now. I'm gonna go in the booth and when you guys hear the bass dealey, you start singing.
- Barney:
- Okay, Homer.
- Groundskeeper Willie:
- Alright, I understand.
- Grampa:
- What're we supposed to do?
- Groundskeeper Willie:
- Quiet.
- Homer:
- Okay, where's it? Oh, here it is. This is "So Dumb: Background Vocals, Take One."
- (bass plays and the boys start to sing)
- Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
- Aaaahhhhhhhhh...
- Aaaahhhhhhhhh...
- Homer:
- The nuclear plant
- Is the reason I can't
- Make a baby with Marge anymore.
- The reason I'm fat,
- So they tell me, is that
- I eat eight meals instead of just four.
- Or because my children
- Are loud and burdensome.
- But somehow my brain's
- At a loss to explain
- The reason I've gotten so dumb.
- Maybe it's beer
- Ev'ry day of the year
- That is killing the cells in my brain.
- Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
- Ooh-wah-ahhhh
- Homer:
- And if that is true,
- Then what else can I do
- If it's beer that is really to blame?
- Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
- Ooh-wah-ahhhh
- Homer:
- I have to stop beer drinking
- And switch to gin or rum.
- But if I could choose,
- Forget brains! I'll take booze!
- Tell me how have I gotten...
- Homer, Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
- So dumb!
- Grampa:
- Don't be so glum
- About being dumb.
- Homer:
- My father told me once.
- Grampa:
- Son, it's okay,
- Go out and play
- With all the other runts.
- You are just fine.
- I really don't mind
- All your stupid stunts.
- Just wear a hat,
- Your pointy hat
- Indicating you're a dunce!
- (Grampa, Barney and Willie vocalize)
- Homer:
- I am so stupid!...I said, "I am so stupid!"...You're supposed to say, "How stupid am I?"...I'll wait...Did you say, "How stupid are you?"...I am so stupid that if I ever had a...Whenever I would...D'OH!
- I have to say, "D'oh!"
- 'Cuz I really don't know
- Who my congressman is to this day.
- Hate that it's sad,
- But, hey, it's not so bad,
- 'Cuz I really don't vote anyway.
- I can't think of the lyrics.
- I guess I'll have to hum.
- La da dee da da da
- I forgot to wear pants
- Tell me da da da dee dee...
- Homer, Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
- So dumb!
- Well, they really don't laugh.
- I just made that part up.
- So forget what I said. Nevermind.
- Now what was I just singing?
- I know it rhymes with "dumb".
- Was it crumb, was it bum,
- Or about bubblegum?
- I forgot. Now sometimes I'm...
- Homer, Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
- So dumb!
- Grampa, Barney, and Willie:
- Eat donuts, eat donuts,
- Eat donuts, eat donuts, etc.
- La, la la, la, la, la
- La, la la, la la, etc.
- Krusty:
- All right, I'm back from the off track betting place. Are you finished?
- Homer:
- I'm almost finished, Krusty. Gonna fade out right here.
- Krusty:
- Well, hurry up, I haven't got all day!
- Homer:
- (trying to get Willie, Grampa and Barney's attentions) Okay, guys, that's enough! Wait a minute! How come they can't hear me?
- Krusty:
- Press the talkback button.
- Homer:
- Which one is it?
- Krusty:
- Do I look like an engineer?
- Homer:
- I'll try this one. Guys, guys!
- Krusty:
- Try that button.
- Homer:
- Guys! Guys, can you hear me? How about this button?
- Krusty:
- No, that's not workin', they can't hear ya. Hey! Hello!
- Homer:
- What does this knob do?
- Krusty:
- You mean the one that says, "Don't Touch"?! Don't touch it!
- (too late because the tape starts speeding up)
- Homer:
- What happens if I do? It—Wait a minute! Stop it! Stop the tape machine!!
- Krusty:
- I dunno how to stop it!
- Homer:
- It's eating up the tape!!! Oh!
- (Willie, Grampa, and Barney are still singing)
- Guys...Guys! I just ruined the tape!
- Barney:
- Homer's wavin' at us! What is it, Homer? Quiet, guys!
- Groundskeeper Willie:
- Quiet, guys! Shut it!
- (they stop singing)
- Grampa:
- What th—?
- Barney:
- What's wrong, Homer?
- Grampa:
- What's going on?
- Groundskeeper Willie:
- What's wrong?
- Homer:
- Oh, Barney, I ruined the tape. (everyone groans) The machine ate up all the tape.
- Groundskeeper Willie:
- Well, that's it for me.
- Barney:
- Don't worry, Homer.
- Grampa:
- I could've been home watching Matlock.
- Homer:
- Why?
- Barney:
- 'Cause I never turned off my tape recorder. I have it all on my own tape recorder!
- Groundskeeper Willie:
- Ach! He's right!
- Homer:
- Oh, Barney, thank goodness for you!
- Groundskeeper Willie:
- Thank goodness for you!
- Homer:
- Sometimes I'm so dumb!
- Grampa:
- You got that right!
- Barney:
- Aw, Homer, you're not dumb. You wrote the song, didn't ya?
- Homer:
- Yeah.
- Barney:
- And you got a record company to release it.
- Groundskeeper Willie:
- That's right.
- Homer:
- Hey, you're right.
- Barney:
- And you're gonna get a lot of royalties from it.
- Homer:
- Royalties?
- Barney:
- You know, money. Homer?
- (pause)
- Homer:
- D'OOOOHHHH!!!
- Grampa:
- I'm gonna take a nap.
