License To Kilt/Quotes

Quotes

Director: You! for the love of Betty Crocker, can any of you cook?

Cletus Spuckler: I kin glaze possum rump usin' only pine sap and chaw juice!

Jasper Beardley: I can crack lobster claws with m'wooden leg!

Marge: Well, I don't like to brag, but I've been known to cover many a less-than-tender piece of meat with a flavor-enhancing sauce or gravy...

Director: Lady, you are the answer to this poor director's prayers!

Kent Brockman: [announcing] Five years ago, an eccentric clown had a dream to find the greatest chefs in all the Springfield metro-area. And after a protracted trademark infringement lawsuit, he named these... the steel chefs! Steel Chef Convenience! Steel Chef Deep Fat! Steel Chef Cafeteria! And tonight's guest chef is a "triple-threat"; she bakes, she fusses, and she frets! Can even the food wizardry of the steel chefs match the leading lady of the lunchbox, Marge Simpson? The heat will be hot!

Marge: Corn dogs? What do you make with corn dogs? I was hoping for a versatile ingredient, like fancy ketchup or extra fancy ketchup!

Lisa: What are you so mad about?

Bart: Would it have killed the judges to mention my Bernaise sauce?

Homer: Marge, is this my beloved childhood pet, Rufus?

Marge: No, Homey. It's Groundskeeper Willie!

Groundskeeper Willie: Don't have a bleedin' cowabunga!

Bart: Don't get me wrong, I like the cursing... but if you're going to pretend to be my brother, you're going to have to work on the catchphrases.

Willie: Go ahead, Willie. Let is all out. I'm here for you and whatever portion of your meal your grief prevents you from finishing.

Homer: Marge, there's a huge crowd! These primitive people think we're like gods! People of Scotland, we are pleased with your worship! Please line up to pay tribute in the following order: cute chicks, beer vendors, chicks who know beer vendors, everyone involved with the production and distribution of pork rinds...

Angus MacMoran: Ah'm afraid they're here for me, Mr. Simpson. Word got about tha' ah was comin' ta fetch me brother, Willie. I'm Angus MacMoran, pleased ta meet ye!

Willie: Arrrgh! I canna take all the shoutin' and raw emotion! I'll be at th' pub!

Homer: I'd better follow him to make sure he's beer. To make sure he's all beer, I mean. To make sure the beer's all right, that is. I'd better follow the beer. Bye, Marge! I'll be home by beer o'clock.

Homer: Several sports films have taught me that the guy who is usually a big loser, like y... uh... well, anyway, that guy wins. In movies. So that's good. In movies.

Willie: Willie'll need an assistant. Let's see... Bart.

Bart: All right! Let's blooter that gonk, mate!

Lisa: What But I made this costume, and stayed up all night studying!

Homer: Ha! In your face, Lisa!

Angus: This is a tough lie to level... give me mah nine iron trimmers!

Willie: Trimmers? Are ye daft, man. Ye'd use a chainsaw where a scalpel is called fer! Bart! Fetch me mah toenail clippers!

Djörk: [Hee] [Hee] Conflict is a bird that bites my head, winning is all. [Giggle] [Giggle]

Homer: Ah, the quiet nobility of the corn dog—is there nothing it can't do?

Willie: Ah, lad! If ye were Julia Roberts or Sandra Bullock, I'd kiss ye!

Bart: And if I were Richard Gere or Hugh Grant, I'd let you, lawnmower man!