The Man of the House/Quotes
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Clancy: Daddy has to run out for just a minute, Ralphie. You're in charge 'til I get back. Okay? Ralph: Yes, daddy! Clancy: I won't be gone long, son. Ralph: Okay, daddy! [Ralph shuts the door] Ralph: That makes me the man of the house. I'm just like daddy now, 'cept I'm smaller and my pants are wetter. [Ralph locks the door] Ralph: First, I must secure the perimeter. [Ralph walks into the kitchen] Ralph: Now, it's time for a man of the house meal! Okay, kitchen... I'm the boss of you now! That goes for you too, Mr. Fridgergator! [Ralph walks to the coffee maker] Ralph: I'll make a pot of coffee like the grown-up men drink! [Ralph pours a vase with water and flowers inside] Ralph: First you add water. [Ralph pours coffee mix] Ralph: Then, you add the coffee peanuts. [Ralph pours pure sugar and milk] Ralph: Daddy likes his coffee with cream and sugar! [Ralph puts the coffee maker in the stove, as the kitchen is already a mess] Ralph: And now, you put it in the cooking machine. [Ralph turns it on 500 degrees] Ralph: Now I'll make some instant toaster waffles! Ralph: [singing] I am the egg man! I am the milkman! I am the waffle! Koo koo kachoo! [Ralph pours in the milk] Ralph: First, you add milk... [Ralph then cracks eggs over the toaster] Ralph: ... And then some easter bunny eggs... Eww. My waffles are getting soggy in there. I need to add some flowers. [Ralph attempts to get flour, but falls and the flour is all over him] Ralph: [enjoying the flour] Wheee! I'm fairy-dusted! [smelling coffee] Mmm... smell that fresh roasted coffee! [smoke fills the room] [Ralph looks at the mess on the floor] Ralph: Uh-oh. I made a mess! Daddy will be mad! This looks like a job for my friend, Mighty Mop! [Ralph goes into the broom closet and picks it up] Ralph: Gee, your hair smells terrific! [Ralph starts mopping] Ralph: Tra la la. I feel like I'm in a movie and soon I'll turn into a beautiful princess! [The mop breaks and is all filled with water] Ralph: Oh, just look at yourself, Mighty Mop! You need a shampoo! I'll give you a special swirly shampoo, like the ones I get from my friends at school!
