Bart's Beard/Quotes
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- Lisa: Dad! You can't seriously be considering letting Bart have that.
- Marge: Let Bart have what?
- Lisa: A video restricted to those seventeen and older.
- Homer: D'oh!
- Marge: Oh, Homer.
- Bart: How much for "Clowns Gone Wild!"?
- Comic Book Guy: I am selling that video at cover price. $29.95 plus state tax.
- Bart: $29.95?
- Comic Book Guy: Plus state tax. And a state of denial is what you are in, young Jedi, if you believe I will unlawfully sell that age-restricted video to a minor.
- Milhouse: Is the video really worth all this trouble?
- Bart: Of course! Now help me find a disguise.
- Milhouse: Bart, I don't think we're gonna find the answer to our problem here.
- Bart: Eureka!
- Bart: Ah, ha! Homer's Dimoxinil hair growth tonic! There may be just enough left!
- Milhouse: Even if this works, where are you gonna get the $29.95?
- Bart: That's the easy part. Meet me tomorrow morning at the Springfield Retirement Castle.
- Bart: Thank you so much for all the silk flowers, teeth, and frilly unmentionables. But I'm here for the, uh, the 'under-privileged child's video fund.' Won't you please help?
- Bart: Man, what a gyp! After all I went through! This tape is lame-o.
- Lisa: I don't know, Bart. The deep emotional scars that force a man to seek a life wearing a false smile is a fascinating topic.
- Milhouse: There's nothing sadder than the tears of a clown.
