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Moaning Lisa/Quotes

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< Moaning Lisa
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Season 1 Episode Quotes
005 "Bart the General"
006
"Moaning Lisa"
"The Call of the Simpsons" 007


Bart: I didn't do it. No one saw me do it. No one can prove anything.

Mr. Largo: Lisa, there's no room for crazy bebop in "My Country 'tis Of Thee!"
Lisa: But, Mr. Largo, that's what "My Country" is all about.
Mr. Largo: What?
Lisa: I'm wailing out for the homeless family living out of its car. The Iowa farmer, whose land has been taken away by unfeeling bureaucrats. The West Virginia coal miner, coughing up his...
Mr. Largo: Well, that's all fine and good, but Lisa, none of these unpleasant people are going to be at the recital next week.

Marge: It doesn't matter how you feel inside, you know. It's what shows up on the surface that counts. Take all your bad feelings and push them down, all the way down, past your knees, until you're almost walking on them. And then you'll fit in, and you'll be invited to parties, and boys will like you... and happiness will follow.

Marge: Lisa, I apologize to you, I was wrong, I take it all back. Always be yourself. If you want to be sad, honey, be sad. We'll ride it out with you. And when you get finished feeling sad, we'll still be there. From now on, let me do the smiling for both of us.
[The two smile and embrace.]
Lisa: Okay, mom.
Marge: I said you could stop smiling, Lisa.
Lisa: I feel like smiling!

Bart: In the red trunks, with the record of 48 wins and no losses, the undisputed champ of this house, battling Bart Simpson! Whoopee! Woo-woo-woo! And, in the lavender trunks, with a record of zero wins and 48 defeats, oh, correction: humiliating defeats - all of them by knockout...
Homer: Must you do this every time?
Bart: Homer "The Human Punching Bag" Simpson.

Homer: [in a dream] What the?!?! [Homer is a video boxing character]
Bart: [his opponent] Put up your dukes, Homer.
Homer: Agggh! Bart! Go easy on me! I'm your Dad!
Bart: I am going easy on ya. [pow] You're so old, [pow] and slow, [pow] and weak, [pow] and pathetic. [winds up for the kill]
Homer: No! Son! No! [the fist impacts, [wakes up screaming] Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh!

Bart: Is Jock there?
Moe: Who?
Bart: Jock, last name Strap.
Moe: Hold on. [calling out] Jock Strap! Hey, guys, I'm looking for a Jock Strap!

Bleeding Gums Murphy: My friends call me "Bleeding Gums."
Lisa: Eugh! How'd you get a name like that?
Bleeding Gums Murphy: Well, let me put it this way. You ever been to the dentist?
Lisa: Yeah.
Bleeding Gums Murphy: Not me. I suppose I should go to one, but I got enough pain in my life as it is.

Bleeding Gums Murphy: The blues isn't about making yourself feeling better, it's about making other people feel worse.

Bleeding Gums Murphy: You know you play pretty well for someone with no real problems.

Marge: Lisa, get away from that jazzman! [to Bleeding Gums] Nothing personal. I just fear the unfamiliar.

[Lisa is singing a blues song she wrote.]
I got a bratty brother
He bugs me every day
And this morning my own mother
She gave my last cupcake away
My dad acts like he belongs
He belongs in the zoo
I'm the saddest kid in grade number two

Bart: Sorry Dad, women and children first [slams door]
Homer: What?! [keeps pounding door as Bart laughs]
Season 1 Quotes
Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire Bart the Genius Homer's Odyssey There's No Disgrace Like Home Bart the General Moaning Lisa The Call of the Simpsons The Telltale Head Life on the Fast Lane Homer's Night Out The Crepes of Wrath Krusty Gets Busted Some Enchanted Evening