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To Kill a Mocking Bart/Quotes

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
< To Kill a Mocking Bart
Revision as of 17:22, March 13, 2020 by SolarBot (talk | contribs) (top: replaced: {{TabQ|gags=no}} → {{TabQ|nogags}})



Lisa: Uh... dad? There's a laywer and a mob boss to see you!
Judge Snyder: Hello, Simpsons family!
Fat Tony: What a delightful home. It reminds me of my younger years in the witness protection program!
Judge Snyder: You see, Mr. Simpson, when you took over Gil's law practice, you also took over his responsibilites as a court-appointed attorney.

Lisa: Wow, dad, I'm impressed! You're winning all your cases! But it would be nice if a few of your clinets really were not guilty!
Homer: Can't debate ethics of legal system eating! [MUNCH!] [CRUNCH!]

Jack Crowley: Thanks for defending me, Homer. You know a lot of guys would just turn their backs on a con like me!
Homer: What did you do?
Jack Crowley: Stabbed a guy when he turned back on me.
Homer: Your honor, I'd like to request a recess!
Judge Snyder: YFor how long?
Homer: I'd say six months. And can the court supply me with some animators from the Roger Meyers studio?
Judge Snyder: I don't see why not. Granted!
Blue-Haired Lawyer: Oh, for crying out loud!

Blue-Haired Lawyer: Not so fast, Simpson! You've got one more client on your roster today.
Homer: Fine. Bring it on! Like the Icing said to the cinnamon bun, "i'm on a roll!" What is it this time? Jaywalking? Counterfeiting?
Blue-Haired Lawyer: Arson!
Homer: Bart!
Bart: I didn't do it!

Homer: Your honor, my daughter Lisa would like to take over for me if that's okay with Bluey!
Blue-Haired Lawyer: You want an eight-year-old girl to try the case? Suuuure that's fine with me.
Lisa: I call Edna Krabappel to the stand! Now, Mrs. Krabappel, may I remind you you're still under oath!
Edna: Yes.
Lisa: Then please tell the court.. did you quit smoking?
Edna: Yes. I don't see what that has to do with anything.
Judge Snyder: Just answer the question...
Edna: [SIGH!] No I didn't!
Seymour Skinner: Ha! I win! She bet me she could give up smoking longe than I could go without kowtowing to mother!
Agnes: Quiet, Seymour!
Seymour Skinner: Yes, mother.