Kearney Zzyzwicz
Kearney Zzyzwicz
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Character Information
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Kearney Zzyzwicz (voiced by Nancy Cartwright) is one of Springfield Elementary Schools bullys. He has a crew cut and wears a white torn shirt and dog collar bangles. In 24 Minutes it is revealed that Kearney also owns his own tuxedo, though he isn't seen wearing it.
Contents
Age
Although he looks to be around Jimbo or Dolph's age, he has a young son (it's not known who the mother is, although he once says that his divorce was hard on his kid, but he got through it ok), the only present Springfield Elementary student that celebrated the United States Bicentennial (that is, was alive in 1976) and shaves his beard. Strangely (in an episode) he needed a fake ID to purchase beer. It is speculated that Kearney is the gang's second in command next to Jimbo, but in one episode he rose through the bullying ranks to become the President. In a future episode, he is seen as the Vice-Principal of Springfield Elementary. In "Whacking Day" he is seen smoking in the room where Bart, Jimbo, Nelson, and Dolph are trapped in during Superintendent Chalmer's visit. In a recent episode, Otto stated that they both went to Springfield Elementary together, only for Kearney to reply that they are unable to teach him.
Family
Son
Kearney has indicated he has an unnamed wife and a son. While his wife has only been mentioned his son has appeared throughout the series and has only made two speaking appearances. In A Milhouse Divided it is revealed that he was able to overcome his parent's divorce by sleeping in a drawer at night. He is also considered smarter than Kearney as in Kill Gil: Vols. 1 & 2 when Kearney was sitting on Gil's lap when he was dressed up as Santa Claus. Kearney believed he is the real Santa Claus and his son knew immediately he was a fake. Also, you can see clearly that Kearny's son is young but previously mentioned, Kearny says that is speaking "as a teenager and parent of a teenager" although he probably has someother child that he was talking about.
Wife
Kearney has been married to an unnamed and unmentioned wife. The only details given though were that he had to divorce with her because Kearney did not want his parents to find out. Kearney has said he misses having sex with her , though it also been mentioned in one episode that Kearney dated Jimbo's Mother .
Mother
It was revealed in the season 19 episode Husbands and Knives that Kearney's mother suffers from clinical depression for which she is being treated with medication. Kearney's points to the medication as the primary reason behind her recent weight gain.
Creation
There is a "Kearney Street" in Portland, Oregon, where Matt Groening grew up.
Biography
Start as a Bully
It was revealed in a Simpsons comic that he, Jimbo, and Dolph were bullied by nerds. Bart then taught them that nerds are "all talk and no action" and they learned to "stand up" for themselves. Bart was later caught in the crossfire when his own creation turned on him and the other students at Springfield Elementary. (The Simpsons comics are not considered canonical.)
Life as a Bully
Kearney's favorite punching bag is Martin Prince. He also once beat up Nelson when he found how sensitive he was, as well as when Nelson commented on how Furious D (the former diving horse) didn't "take no guff from nobody," for using the word "guff" in place of an expletive. Kearney can often be seen hanging around "Jimbo" Jones, Nelson Muntz, and Dolph. The gang does not use physical abuse on girls — most likely due to the fact that the "girl bullies" would come after them as they do the nerds, dorks and geeks. One other reason for it is that they say that girls bite and scratch, and sometimes, "we fall in love". At one time, he has dated Jimbo's mother, claiming "Hey, she came onto me!", with the result that he was beaten up by the rest of the gang. Like Jimbo and Dolph, Kearney is quite stupid. Kearney's prior offenses are indian burn (3rd degree), full moon, half moon, attempted purple nurple, hertz donut (acquitted) (from 24 Minutes.
Future
In the episode Future-Drama, Kearney becomes the Vice-Principal of Springfield Elementary (the principal is still Seymour Skinner). However, none of his bullying traits are seen. He was also seen as Lisa's bodyguard in Bart to the Future saying his contract gives him three people to kill in each term.
Appearances
- {Simpsons characters}}
- {DEFAULTSORT:Zzyzwicz, Kearney}}
