Kiss My Grits

Kiss My Grits

Tapped Out Quest Information Level: 5 Update: Valentine's Day 2014 Required characters: Brandine, Moe, Cletus, Luigi

Kiss My Grits is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Valentine's Day 2014 content update.

Dialogue

Pt. 1

After tapping on Brandine's exclamation mark I can’t believe I’s back in Springfield! Whelp, supposin’ the first thing I should do is call my husband. CLEEEEEEEEE-TUS! SOOOO-WEEEE! Brandine! When’s that dinner comin’? I’s is starving! I have been floating around being non-existent for well over an owl’s age. Do you mean to tell me you have not eaten that whole time?! Not hardly. I ain’t got much in the way of eating jobs. Well, don’t you worry, darlin’. I’ll fix you up your favorite sandwich -- poached possum pattie in a possum pouch pita. Task: "Reach Level 6 and Build Cletus's Farm". Task: "Make Brandine Stab Possums". The job takes place at Cletus's Farm and takes 60 minues. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2

After tapping on Brandine's exclamation mark These here possums has to soak in a pot a melted butter for an hour. Mainly, so’s I kin be sure they’s dead. Cause a half-dead possum kin get purty scratchity. While I’m waitin’, I suppose I can catch up on some of my housekeeping and parenting duties. Task: "Watch Real Sister-wives of Shelbyville". The job takes place at a Brown House and takes 12 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 3

After tapping on Brandine's exclamation mark Mmm, something’s cooking, let’s have a taste! Ugh! That is the worst thing I’ve ever tasted and I have eaten pretty much everything that can fit in my mouth. That’s partly cuz you’s tasting it with my fly-swatting spoon. But also cuz it’s missing a special ingrediment. Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go see that monkey-faced man what sells that strange, non-blinding moonshine. Task: "Reach Level 15 and Build Moe's Tavern". Task: "Make Moe Smuggle Endangered Species". The job takes 8 hours. Task: "Make Brandine Pick Up Supplies". The job takes place at Moe's Tavern and takes 8 hours. Okay, mister, I helped you move that polka-dot Chinese bear. Now give me my secret ingrediment. Of course. Here you go, one precious panda bear egg. What? First of all, pandas don’t lay eggs and secondly, that’s a lemon. Pipe down, Encyclopedia Brown. I need her hillbilly super strength. If you keep quiet, I’ll let you pet the pandas. Are you kidding? You’re asking me to go against my core values just to pet a--- Oh my God they’re so fuzzy! Okay, an hour of petting and I’ll be cool. I’mma head home ‘fore this panda egg hatches. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 4

After tapping on Brandine's exclamation mark Mmm-mm, this dish is gonna make Cletus happier than a hound dog in a room full of butts. Hey, Cletus! Get me a couple, two, three a them Tomaccos. Oh boy! I love the subtle taste of a tomacco, it combines the sweetness of tomato with sharpness of accidentally drinking from your chaw spit-cup. Task: "Harvest Tomacco" (x2). Task: "Make Brandine Prepare her “Something” Stew". The job takes place at Cletus's Farm and takes 4 hours. Darn it, Cletus, I used too much Tomacco. Nonsense, Darlin’. When it comes to Tomacco, I likes a heavy hand. But the smell of it drew the attention of all them Tomacco-addicted Sheep-Junkies what roam this hillside. They busted in and ate the whole washtub of possum. Aw, don’t you fret, we gots these places where you can have your grub made by a pro-fessnal vittle-fixer n’ brought out to ya by these people called waitnesses. That’s sounds like a moonshine-daydream! Take me to this place! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 5

After tapping on Brandine's exclamation mark I’ma so sorry, but I cannot let a you eat in the dining room. You see the sign? No shirt, no shoes, no service. Shoot, and I really wanted me some service! I’d try an order of the shoes, however. Don’t worry, I’ve got a beautiful table in the alley. It’s usually reserved for when my dog acquaintances have dates, but tonight it’s yours. Task: "Reach Level 18 and Build Luigi's". Task: "Make Brandine Go for a Date with Cletus". The job takes place at Luigi's and takes 8 hours. Task: "Make Luigi Perform an Alleyway Serenade". The job takes place at Luigi's and takes 8 hours. Cletus! Feel what these napkins is made of! I don’t even know what you call that! Its'a called, “paper.” *sighs* It feels like the softest part of trees. You has changed, Brandine. The beautiful city-life has spoilt you. Ah-yep. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 6

After tapping on Brandine's exclamation mark I used to love my simple home. Now that I’ve seen the city, everythin’ here seems so dusty and full of brambles. ‘Specially the dust-pond and the bramble-shed. It pains me to hear you talk like that, my dear Sister-mom. Hey, your favorite TV show is on! Maybe that’d shut you up! Yes. I will escape into the dreamy, soft embrace of staged arguments amongst fish-lipped, cat-faced ladies. Task: "Make Brandine Watch Real Sister-wives of Shelbyville". The job takes place at a Brown House and takes 12 hours. We interrupt this broadcast to bring you urgent news! In an effort to stay ahead of bloggers and the tweet-o-sphere, Channel Six is reporting a significant possibility Springfield may fall victim to a terrorist attack in the near and/or distant future… Stay tuned to hear from people we frightened on the street with our questions. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 7

After tapping on Brandine's exclamation mark Now I remember why I don't like city livin'. You get caught up in the glamour of napkins and forgets whats important: stockpiling ‘munitions so’s to protect ‘merica! Until such time that we hill folk rise up aginst the guv’mint. Task: "Make Brandine Defend Springfield From Terrorists". The job takes 24 hours. You know Cletus, when I thinks of all the threats we face day to day, makes me wonder why anyone’d want to bring a child into this world. When what they should be doing is bringing a whole army of chirren into this world. Dang straight! They ain’t no problem in the world what idn’t made better by having more babies. We better shake a tail feather, we got a barracks to fill. I think I already gots one in the chute. I’ll birth it out and we kin git started on t’other. Aw, Brandine, I jes love our date nights. Message You unlocked a new job for Brandine! You can now send her to Birth Another Spuckler. Quest reward: 200 and 20

The Simpsons: Tapped Out Valentine's Day 2014 quests
Cards Are Read, Marge's Hair is Blue • Return to Sender • A Rose is a Rose is a Rose • We Choo Choo Choose you • Where's the Love?
Brandine	Kiss My Grits • Spuckler Kid