King of Cats

King of Cats is the name given to a medley of songs from the musical Stab-a-Lot: The Itchy and Scratchy Musical in the episode Girls Just Want to Have Sums. The first part is a parody of the song "Circle of Life" from the movie-turned-musical The Lion King and the second part is a parody of "I Don't Know How to Love Him" from the musical Jesus Christ Superstar. The music was written by Alf Clausen and the lyrics by Matt Selman. It is the thirty-second track on the album The Simpsons: Testify. Amick Byram was the singing Itchy in the song and Bob Joyce was the singing Scratchy.

Lyrics

Bart:

Dad, taking the family to opening night is the nicest thing you've ever done for us.

Homer:

Or will ever do.

Lisa:

I can't wait to see this reimagining of Itchy & Scratchy by avant-garde director Julianna Crelmner.

Homer:

Hey, it says here the "book" was written by Tom Stoppard. This isn't a book! It's a play! (laughs)

African Man:

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamishtanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, kimanee sayfaloooooooooooooor...

Old Cat:

All hail the king of the cats.

Cast':

Sayfalooooooor, sayfaloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooor...

Marge:

(gasps) They're coming down the aisles! What if they want to interact with me? Looking through my purse, looking through my purse, keep walking, monkey!

Bart:

Don't worry, Mom, they all pass by.

Marge: Oh thank God. (A monkey immediately walks up and' 'starts to "talk" to her. Confused, Marge makes monkey noises back.)

Bart: (chuckles)

Cast:

Itchy-Scratchy, Itchy-Itchy-Scratchy,

(cont'd over following)

Old Cat:

From the day you were born in the alley,

To the you were hit by a car,

There's cream TV and mice to eat

And great big balls of yarn.

It's the circle,

The circle of—

Itchy:

KNIFE! (Itchy gleefully slices off the Old Cat's limbs.)

Lisa:

I love the use of streamers as blood. It robs the violence of its power.

Bart:

Woo-hoo! I'm drenched in "blood"!

Scracthy:

I don't know why I trust him.

I guess some cats just never learn.

Itchy:

I feel so good when I have crushed him,

Or left him mangled, maimed and burned.

Both:

I suppose it's symbiotic,

And perhaps a bit erotic.

Scratchy:

'Cause pain is my narcotic.

Itchy:

You really liked it?

Scratchy:

Yes, I loved it.

Both:

And that's we're always

Itchy:

Fighting...

Scratchy:

And biting...

Itchy:

And dynamite igniting!

Homer:

Hey, check it out! I'm Scratcher or somethin'.

Cast:

It's the circle,

The circle of knife!

It's the circle,

The circle of knives!