US of A Today

"According to this eye-catching article S.A.T. scores are declining at a slower rate."

―Homer Simpson

"Dad, I think this paper is a flimsy hodge-podge of pie graphs, factoids and Larry King."

―Lisa Simpson

"Hey, this is the only paper in America that's not afraid to tell the truth--that everything is just fine."

―Homer Simpson

US of A Today

Newspaper Information Type: Daily newspaper First appearance: "Homer Defined"

US of A Today is an American newspaper.

History

Homer read the newspaper at the breakfast table, and told the family about an eye-catching article, SAT scores are declining at a slower rate. Lisa told him then that she thinks this paper is a flimsy hodgepodge of pie graphs, factoids and Larry King. Homer claims that this is the only paper in America that's not afraid to tell the truth, that everything is just fine.

Stories

• "America's favorite pencil"
• A story about Lucille Botzcowski
• A story involving a baseball player

Behind the Laughter

US of A Today is a parody of the American newspaper USA Today.

Appearances

• Episode – "Homer Defined"

Newspapers

Beijing Daily Worker • The Boston Bugle • The Boston Daily • Bridal Times Gazette • Chateau d'if Times • Chicago Turbine • The Chippewa Bugle • Current' Events: The Springfield Power Plant Employee Newsletter • Daily 2nd Gradian • Daily Fourth Gradian • The Daily Mail • Daily Variety • Evening Standard • First Church of Springfield Weekly Bulletin • The Flanders Press • The Globe • Gotham Herald • Grit • Herald • The Hollywood Reporter • Hot Sex Weekly • Jewish News • La Stampa • Los Angeles Post • The Mirror • National Informer • The New Delhi Daily • The New Springfieldsman • The New York News • New York Post • The New York Times • The New Yorker Times • The Onion • The Post • Principals Weekly • The Red Dress Press • The Sentinel • Shelbyville Daily • The Springfield Bugle • Springfield Shopper • Springfield Times • Springfield Variety • The Sun • The Times of London • Toon Times • US of A Today • Washington Beacon • Washingtonian Star • Weekly Global Gazette • Zenith City Times • Zenith Observer • Zenith Post