Difference between revisions of "Feud, Glorious Feud!/Quotes"

Revision as of 11:59, July 10, 2014

Homer: So where are you going?

Ned: Wherever the road takes us! As long as it's one of the blue Billy Graham-approved, family values states!

Homer: Ned, as your best friend, I feel it's my duty while you're gone to look after your bumper pool table, big screen TV, and imported beer bar!

Ned: Oh, I've got that dovered, Homer! I made a couple of calls, and I'm donating my home to the poor while I'm gone. They take someone out of a filithy shack and let them housesit in the suburbs. It's called the love shack program!

Chief Wiggum: We clocked the vehicle going 90 miles per hour, and the car reeks of booze!

Homer: Wow! I must gave really tied one on, because I don't remember any of that!

Chief Wiggum: Not you! It was our boy, Bart!

Homer: Bart! What did I tell you about drinking and driving?

Bart: Nothing, I'm only ten! I can't drink or drive!

Homer: Touché!

Herman: Mr. Simpson, I'm Herman of Herman's Military Antiques and Battle Supplies. I understand you're having a feud with your neighbor!

Homer: What? How'd you find out so fast?

Herman: The Internet! Now, I know you both can't use funs, so may I suggest you let me supply you with the next best thing? The Splatter Shot 5000!

Marge: A paint-bull gun? I don't know, Homer!

Bart: Comic Book Guy? What happened?

Comic Book Guy: I had the misfortune of being caught in the crossfire between your father and Cletus this morning.

Bart: Oh, man, I'm so sorry.

Comic Book Guy: No need for apologies! it saved me purchasing a costume for toight's classic Star Trek masquerade ball by mimicking Frank Gorshin in episode #70 of the original series! "Let that be your last Battlefield." preachiest Star Trek ever!

Lisa: I found both of our family trees! if you go back to the mid-1800s, they connect. We're all actually second cousins three times removed

Homer: Huh?

Cletus: What? It be true! And the unwritten country code states that there cain't be no feudin' between kinfolk! It just ain't right!

Homer: I agree! I'd never be able to hurt a family member!

Bart: How about all the times you chocked me?

Homer: Those were just neck hugs!