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Difference between revisions of "Colonel Homer/Quotes"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Dog of Death|Black Widower}}
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Dog of Death|Black Widower}}
  
:''Homer has tracked down Lurleen and is trying to get her to cut an album''
+
:'''[[Homer]]:''' Hey! Hey, [[Lurleen]]? I gotta say somethin' to ya.
:'''Homer''': Lurleen, we have got to get your voice on record!
+
:'''Lurleen:''' I'm listenin'.
:'''Lurleen''': OK Homer, but I should tell you, no man has ever helped me out '' Lurleen puts her arms behind her back and thrusts out her breasts'' without wanting something in return.
+
:'''Homer:''' Your song touched me in a way I've never felt before. And which way to the can?
:'''Homer''': Gosh Lurleen. I was going to ask for a glass of water but I feel so guilty now!
 
:''Lurleen laughs as Homer did not get her sexual reference and is being honest in his efforts to aid her musical career''
 
:'''Lurleen''': Oh Homer! You are just a big sack of sugar!
 
:'''Homer''': Hey! Oh, wait, sugar! No, that is fine!
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Homer''': They don't call me Colonel Homer because I am some dumb ass Army guy!
+
:''(the family listens to Lurleen's song on the radio)''
 +
:'''Homer:''' [[Marge]]? Whaddya think?
 +
:'''Marge:''' Well, it's nice... but who is this woman?
 +
:'''Homer:''' Well, right now she's an out-of-work cocktail waitress, but she's going to be a country music superstar, like, uh... that... jerk in the cowboy hat... and that dead lady.
 +
:'''Marge:''' I don't like you hanging around some cocktail waitress!
 +
:'''Homer:''' Marge, you make it sound so seamy! All I did was spend the afternoon in her trailer watching her try on some outfits.
 +
----
 +
:'''Homer:''' Don't thank me Lurleen, you should be thanking your brain!
 +
:'''Lurleen:''' Oh, Homer, no man has ever been this nice to me without... you know, wantin' somethin' in return.
 +
:'''Homer:''' Well, I was gonna ask you for a glass of water, but now I feel kinda guilty about it.
 +
:'''Lurleen:''' ''(laughing)'' Homer, you're just a big sack of sugar!
 +
:'''Homer:''' Thanks! You did say sugar, right?
 +
----
 +
:'''Homer:''' Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie, and one to listen.
 +
----
 +
:'''Homer:''' Guess what, Lurleen? I got you a gig on TV!
 +
:'''Lurleen:''' Oh, Homer! You're as smart as you are handsome!
 +
:'''Homer:''' ''(angry)'' Hey! ''(relaxes)'' Oh, you meant that as a compliment.
 +
----
 +
:'''Marge:''' Just so you know, while you and Lurleen were put judging that greased pig contest, [[Maggie]] cut her first tooth.
 +
:'''Homer:''' That's great, honey. Say, have you seen my rattlesnake headband?
 +
:'''Marge:''' You're not even listening to me.
 +
:'''Homer:''' Sure they will!
 +
----
 +
:'''Homer:''' They don't call me Colonel Homer because I'm some dumb-ass Army guy.
 +
 
 
{{Season 3 Q}}
 
{{Season 3 Q}}
 +
 
[[Category:Quotes]]
 
[[Category:Quotes]]

Revision as of 07:01, August 28, 2011


Season 3 Episode Quotes
054 "Dog of Death"
055
"Colonel Homer"
"Black Widower" 056


Homer: Hey! Hey, Lurleen? I gotta say somethin' to ya.
Lurleen: I'm listenin'.
Homer: Your song touched me in a way I've never felt before. And which way to the can?

(the family listens to Lurleen's song on the radio)
Homer: Marge? Whaddya think?
Marge: Well, it's nice... but who is this woman?
Homer: Well, right now she's an out-of-work cocktail waitress, but she's going to be a country music superstar, like, uh... that... jerk in the cowboy hat... and that dead lady.
Marge: I don't like you hanging around some cocktail waitress!
Homer: Marge, you make it sound so seamy! All I did was spend the afternoon in her trailer watching her try on some outfits.

Homer: Don't thank me Lurleen, you should be thanking your brain!
Lurleen: Oh, Homer, no man has ever been this nice to me without... you know, wantin' somethin' in return.
Homer: Well, I was gonna ask you for a glass of water, but now I feel kinda guilty about it.
Lurleen: (laughing) Homer, you're just a big sack of sugar!
Homer: Thanks! You did say sugar, right?

Homer: Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie, and one to listen.

Homer: Guess what, Lurleen? I got you a gig on TV!
Lurleen: Oh, Homer! You're as smart as you are handsome!
Homer: (angry) Hey! (relaxes) Oh, you meant that as a compliment.

Marge: Just so you know, while you and Lurleen were put judging that greased pig contest, Maggie cut her first tooth.
Homer: That's great, honey. Say, have you seen my rattlesnake headband?
Marge: You're not even listening to me.
Homer: Sure they will!

Homer: They don't call me Colonel Homer because I'm some dumb-ass Army guy.

Template:Season 3 Q