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Difference between revisions of "Kiss My Grits"
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Revision as of 09:05, May 25, 2024
| Kiss My Grits
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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Kiss My Grits is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Valentine's Day 2014 content update.
Dialogue
Pt. 1
| After tapping on Brandine's exclamation mark
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I can’t believe I’s back in Springfield! Whelp, supposin’ the first thing I should do is call my husband.
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CLEEEEEEEEE-TUS! SOOOO-WEEEE!
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Brandine! When’s that dinner comin’? I’s is starving!
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I have been floating around being non-existent for well over an owl’s age. Do you mean to tell me you have not eaten that whole time?!
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Not hardly. I ain’t got much in the way of eating jobs.
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Well, don’t you worry, darlin’. I’ll fix you up your favorite sandwich -- poached possum pattie in a possum pouch pita.
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Task: "Reach Level 6 and Build Cletus's Farm".
Task: "Make Brandine Stab Possums". The job takes place at Cletus's Farm and takes 60 minues.
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
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Pt. 2
| After tapping on Brandine's exclamation mark
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These here possums has to soak in a pot a melted butter for an hour. Mainly, so’s I kin be sure they’s dead. Cause a half-dead possum kin get purty scratchity.
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While I’m waitin’, I suppose I can catch up on some of my housekeeping and parenting duties.
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| Task: "Watch Real Sister-wives of Shelbyville". The job takes place at a Brown House and takes 12 hours.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 3
| After tapping on Brandine's exclamation mark
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Mmm, something’s cooking, let’s have a taste!
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Ugh! That is the worst thing I’ve ever tasted and I have eaten pretty much everything that can fit in my mouth.
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That’s partly cuz you’s tasting it with my fly-swatting spoon. But also cuz it’s missing a special ingrediment.
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Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go see that monkey-faced man what sells that strange, non-blinding moonshine.
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Task: "Reach Level 15 and Build Moe's Tavern".
Task: "Make Moe Smuggle Endangered Species". The job takes 8 hours.
Task: "Make Brandine Pick Up Supplies". The job takes place at Moe's Tavern and takes 8 hours.
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Okay, mister, I helped you move that polka-dot Chinese bear. Now give me my secret ingrediment.
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Of course. Here you go, one precious panda bear egg.
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What? First of all, pandas don’t lay eggs and secondly, that’s a lemon.
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Pipe down, Encyclopedia Brown. I need her hillbilly super strength. If you keep quiet, I’ll let you pet the pandas.
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Are you kidding? You’re asking me to go against my core values just to pet a--- Oh my God they’re so fuzzy! Okay, an hour of petting and I’ll be cool.
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I’mma head home ‘fore this panda egg hatches.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 4
| After tapping on Brandine's exclamation mark
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Mmm-mm, this dish is gonna make Cletus happier than a hound dog in a room full of butts.
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Hey, Cletus! Get me a couple, two, three a them Tomaccos.
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Oh boy! I love the subtle taste of a tomacco, it combines the sweetness of tomato with sharpness of accidentally drinking from your chaw spit-cup.
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Task: "Harvest Tomacco" (x2).
Task: "Make Brandine Prepare her “Something” Stew". The job takes place at Cletus's Farm and takes 4 hours.
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Darn it, Cletus, I used too much Tomacco.
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Nonsense, Darlin’. When it comes to Tomacco, I likes a heavy hand.
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But the smell of it drew the attention of all them Tomacco-addicted Sheep-Junkies what roam this hillside.
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They busted in and ate the whole washtub of possum.
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Aw, don’t you fret, we gots these places where you can have your grub made by a pro-fessnal vittle-fixer n’ brought out to ya by these people called waitnesses.
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That’s sounds like a moonshine-daydream! Take me to this place!
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 5
| After tapping on Brandine's exclamation mark
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I’ma so sorry, but I cannot let a you eat in the dining room. You see the sign? No shirt, no shoes, no service.
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Shoot, and I really wanted me some service!
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I’d try an order of the shoes, however.
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Don’t worry, I’ve got a beautiful table in the alley. It’s usually reserved for when my dog acquaintances have dates, but tonight it’s yours.
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Task: "Reach Level 18 and Build Luigi's".
Task: "Make Brandine Go for a Date with Cletus". The job takes place at Luigi's and takes 8 hours.
Task: "Make Luigi Perform an Alleyway Serenade". The job takes place at Luigi's and takes 8 hours.
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Cletus! Feel what these napkins is made of! I don’t even know what you call that!
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Its'a called, “paper.”
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*sighs* It feels like the softest part of trees.
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You has changed, Brandine. The beautiful city-life has spoilt you.
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Ah-yep.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 6
| After tapping on Brandine's exclamation mark
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I used to love my simple home. Now that I’ve seen the city, everythin’ here seems so dusty and full of brambles.
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‘Specially the dust-pond and the bramble-shed.
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It pains me to hear you talk like that, my dear Sister-mom. Hey, your favorite TV show is on! Maybe that’d shut you up!
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Yes. I will escape into the dreamy, soft embrace of staged arguments amongst fish-lipped, cat-faced ladies.
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| Task: "Make Brandine Watch Real Sister-wives of Shelbyville". The job takes place at a Brown House and takes 12 hours.
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We interrupt this broadcast to bring you urgent news!
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In an effort to stay ahead of bloggers and the tweet-o-sphere, Channel Six is reporting a significant possibility Springfield may fall victim to a terrorist attack in the near and/or distant future…
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Stay tuned to hear from people we frightened on the street with our questions.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 7
| After tapping on Brandine's exclamation mark
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Now I remember why I don't like city livin'.
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You get caught up in the glamour of napkins and forgets whats important: stockpiling ‘munitions so’s to protect ‘merica!
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Until such time that we hill folk rise up aginst the guv’mint.
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| Task: "Make Brandine Defend Springfield From Terrorists". The job takes 24 hours.
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You know Cletus, when I thinks of all the threats we face day to day, makes me wonder why anyone’d want to bring a child into this world.
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When what they should be doing is bringing a whole army of chirren into this world.
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Dang straight! They ain’t no problem in the world what idn’t made better by having more babies.
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We better shake a tail feather, we got a barracks to fill. I think I already gots one in the chute. I’ll birth it out and we kin git started on t’other.
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Aw, Brandine, I jes love our date nights.
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| Message
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You unlocked a new job for Brandine! You can now send her to Birth Another Spuckler.
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| Quest reward: 200 and 20
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