Difference between revisions of "Owl or Nothing/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 09:15, August 19, 2023

Bart: I'd like to start off this school assembly by giving Principal Skinner the bird!

Bird Sanctuary employee: Because of the money your school has raised for the Springfield Bird Sanctuary, we've named a bird in honor of you...

Bart: Behold, The Flaming Blue Wiener!

Principal Skinner: I thought Lisa was going to name the bird The Skinner Sparrow.

Homer: What does the company's health plan cover again?

Waylon Smithers: It's the standard American health plan. Your boss yells at you until you're better.

Mr. Burns: Get back to work, you lackadaisical loafer!

Lisa: You made a nest out of my homework!

Bart: Wow! I'll get mine, too! This is a way better excuse than "my dog ate it!"

Marge: You know, Homer, it'd be nice if you'd talk to me about your day sometime instead of the dog.

Homer: You're right, Marge. Who's a good wife? Who is? You are! Yes, you are!

Marge: [SIGH!] Sometimes you take what you can get.

Homer: You wanted to see me, Mr. Burns?

Mr. Burns: Indeed, I did! I want to put you in a new home!

Homer: And you want my soul for that?

Mr. Burns: Oh my, no! The soul market dried up in the eighties!

Homer: I don't get it. Why don't you just take my soul?

Mr. Burns: For the last time, no! I'm still trying to sell Howie Mandel's.

Veterinarian: The good news is the wing is healing nicely.

Lisa: And the bad news?

Veterinarian: This owl is a jerk! That's probably why he's been injured so much in the past. He probably had it coming!

Hans Moleman: all I'm saying is my dog's missing!

Homer: And the first thing you do is blame the neighbor with a moat filled with crocodiles? Typical!

Homer: Okay, Mr. Burns, what now? Mr. Burns?

Smithers: He can't hear you. He's in a coma. It happens when his plans go too well. He's overloaded the evil joy portion of his brain. He's paralyzed by his own success.