Owl or Nothing/Quotes
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- Bart: I'd like to start off this school assembly by giving Principal Skinner the bird!
- Bird Sanctuary employee: Because of the money your school has raised for the Springfield Bird Sanctuary, we've named a bird in honor of you...
- Bart: Behold, The Flaming Blue Wiener!
- Principal Skinner: I thought Lisa was going to name the bird The Skinner Sparrow.
- Homer: What does the company's health plan cover again?
- Waylon Smithers: It's the standard American health plan. Your boss yells at you until you're better.
- Mr. Burns: Get back to work, you lackadaisical loafer!
- Lisa: You made a nest out of my homework!
- Bart: Wow! I'll get mine, too! This is a way better excuse than "my dog ate it!"
- Marge: You know, Homer, it'd be nice if you'd talk to me about your day sometime instead of the dog.
- Homer: You're right, Marge. Who's a good wife? Who is? You are! Yes, you are!
- Marge: [SIGH!] Sometimes you take what you can get.
- Homer: You wanted to see me, Mr. Burns?
- Mr. Burns: Indeed, I did! I want to put you in a new home!
- Homer: And you want my soul for that?
- Mr. Burns: Oh my, no! The soul market dried up in the eighties!
- Homer: I don't get it. Why don't you just take my soul?
- Mr. Burns: For the last time, no! I'm still trying to sell Howie Mandel's.
- Veterinarian: The good news is the wing is healing nicely.
- Lisa: And the bad news?
- Veterinarian: This owl is a jerk! That's probably why he's been injured so much in the past. He probably had it coming!
- Hans Moleman: all I'm saying is my dog's missing!
- Homer: And the first thing you do is blame the neighbor with a moat filled with crocodiles? Typical!
- Homer: Okay, Mr. Burns, what now? Mr. Burns?
- Smithers: He can't hear you. He's in a coma. It happens when his plans go too well. He's overloaded the evil joy portion of his brain. He's paralyzed by his own success.
