Difference between revisions of "American History F/Quotes"
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{{qf|Grampa}} Let's just open our history books to page one and—Pangaea!? What in McGraw-hill? Button who? Wisconsin? What the sass is that? Tom Edison? The Rug Cleaner's son? Nuts to that! I can see I'm gonna have to wing it like Teddy Roosevelt did on San Juan Hill. Kids, listen up so's I can teach you about the battle of the first Thanksgiving! | {{qf|Grampa}} Let's just open our history books to page one and—Pangaea!? What in McGraw-hill? Button who? Wisconsin? What the sass is that? Tom Edison? The Rug Cleaner's son? Nuts to that! I can see I'm gonna have to wing it like Teddy Roosevelt did on San Juan Hill. Kids, listen up so's I can teach you about the battle of the first Thanksgiving! | ||
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| − | {{qf|[[Rich Texan]]}} Are you Abraham Simpson? I'm a big fan! | + | {{qf|[[The Rich Texan]]}} Are you Abraham Simpson? I'm a big fan! |
{{qf|Grampa}} Huh? | {{qf|Grampa}} Huh? | ||
| − | {{qf|Rich Texan}} I've been watchin' you! You teach history like it really was! Not many people know about Harry Truman's webbed toes or that Lincoln fake his own death! | + | {{qf|The Rich Texan}} I've been watchin' you! You teach history like it really was! Not many people know about Harry Truman's webbed toes or that Lincoln fake his own death! |
{{qf|Grampa}} ...and he went on to found the NBA! | {{qf|Grampa}} ...and he went on to found the NBA! | ||
| − | {{qf|Rich Texan}} You're a breath'a fresh cattle ranch air, mister! Have you ever thought'a going into politics? | + | {{qf|The Rich Texan}} You're a breath'a fresh cattle ranch air, mister! Have you ever thought'a going into politics? |
{{qf|Grampa}} Politics? Me? | {{qf|Grampa}} Politics? Me? | ||
| − | {{qf|Rich Texan}} I represent the "Pity Party." We're tired od being picked on for our beliefs and our intolerance! We want a leader who will do whtever it takes to keep us happy, and I think that leader is you! | + | {{qf|The Rich Texan}} I represent the "Pity Party." We're tired od being picked on for our beliefs and our intolerance! We want a leader who will do whtever it takes to keep us happy, and I think that leader is you! |
{{qf|Grampa}} Me? | {{qf|Grampa}} Me? | ||
| − | {{qf|Rich Texan}} What'll it be, Abe? Would you like to governor of this here United State? | + | {{qf|The Rich Texan}} What'll it be, Abe? Would you like to governor of this here United State? |
{{qf|Grampa}} Well, the last time I was asked to run was back in tickety-aught-twoleven when Emiliano Zapata needed a dogcatcher. Aw, what the hey! I'll do it! | {{qf|Grampa}} Well, the last time I was asked to run was back in tickety-aught-twoleven when Emiliano Zapata needed a dogcatcher. Aw, what the hey! I'll do it! | ||
| − | {{qf|Rich Texan}} Yee-haaw! | + | {{qf|The Rich Texan}} Yee-haaw! |
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{{qf|Grampa}} Hello, family! I broguht you tickets to my speech tonight. Mayour Quimby will be giving me the keys to the city. All fifty thousand of them! | {{qf|Grampa}} Hello, family! I broguht you tickets to my speech tonight. Mayour Quimby will be giving me the keys to the city. All fifty thousand of them! | ||
Latest revision as of 09:08, August 25, 2022
- Milhouse: What are you doing, Bart?
- Bart: Heh, heh! I can type whatever I want on this baby nad make it appear on signs all over town!
- Milhouse: Wow! You're hacking into the mainframe?
- Bart: Yep!
- Sound: Clickety Clickety Click Click
- Bart: Let the mayhem begin!
- Sound: Stab!
- Grampa: Hello, kids! Guess who you new history teacher is? It's me! Grampa Simpson!
- Homer: Dad I told you on the phone! We're not home!
- Lisa: Grampa? A teacher? In my school? This is... why would anyone think... what could he...? Who on Earth would... even if they... I mean
- Marge: Let's get you to bed sweetheart. You've had enough excitement for one dinner-time.
- Grampa: Let's just open our history books to page one and—Pangaea!? What in McGraw-hill? Button who? Wisconsin? What the sass is that? Tom Edison? The Rug Cleaner's son? Nuts to that! I can see I'm gonna have to wing it like Teddy Roosevelt did on San Juan Hill. Kids, listen up so's I can teach you about the battle of the first Thanksgiving!
- The Rich Texan: Are you Abraham Simpson? I'm a big fan!
- Grampa: Huh?
- The Rich Texan: I've been watchin' you! You teach history like it really was! Not many people know about Harry Truman's webbed toes or that Lincoln fake his own death!
- Grampa: ...and he went on to found the NBA!
- The Rich Texan: You're a breath'a fresh cattle ranch air, mister! Have you ever thought'a going into politics?
- Grampa: Politics? Me?
- The Rich Texan: I represent the "Pity Party." We're tired od being picked on for our beliefs and our intolerance! We want a leader who will do whtever it takes to keep us happy, and I think that leader is you!
- Grampa: Me?
- The Rich Texan: What'll it be, Abe? Would you like to governor of this here United State?
- Grampa: Well, the last time I was asked to run was back in tickety-aught-twoleven when Emiliano Zapata needed a dogcatcher. Aw, what the hey! I'll do it!
- The Rich Texan: Yee-haaw!
- Grampa: Hello, family! I broguht you tickets to my speech tonight. Mayour Quimby will be giving me the keys to the city. All fifty thousand of them!
- Marge: Grampa, are your sure your want to go through with this?
- Grampa: You betcha! After I'm elected I'm gonna make Shelbyville finally stand up, shut up, and sit back down again!
- Marge: But Shelbyville's in our state! Whatever your do to them, you do to us!
- Grampa: Wha--?! By golly, you're right! Wer'e all one big state here: Springfield, North Haverbrook, Ogdenville... and even Shelbyville! You've given me a lot to think about, Margei. It'll probably take me hours to forget it.
