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Difference between revisions of "Template:Featured Article"

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[[File:Hans Moleman.png|150px|left|link=Hans Moleman]]
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[[File:Personalized Talking Astrolabe.png|200px|right|link=Personalized Talking Astrolabe]]
  
'''Hans Moleman''' (also known as '''Ralph Melish''') is a 4ft 4 in, 140lb mole-like man with extremely bad luck.
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The '''Personalized Talking Astrolabe''' is a gold-plated {{W|astrolabe}}.
  
Although apparently elderly, Hans Moleman once claimed that he was only 31 years old (his driver's license says he was born August 2, 1961), but due to his heavy drinking, he appears much older. He has cataracts and is almost entirely blind (which has severely impaired his reading ability) and has used medical marijuana. He carries a brown cane with him everywhere, which was once shown to contain a hidden sword.
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While out [[Christmas]] shopping at [[Springfield Heights Promenade]], [[Homer]] spotted the Personalized Talking Astrolabe in the window of [[Things Unnecessary]]. Homer immediately became enamored with the object and went into the shop, where an employee showed it to him. However, he looked at the price tag of $500 and realized that if he bought it, he wouldn't have any money left to buy a Christmas tree for the family. The Astrolabe then told Homer that it was [[Margaret Cho]]'s birthday, which Homer said was the birthday he always forgot. He then decided to buy the Astrolabe.
  
Hans was once mistaken for Bart and accidentally "de-programmed" (Homer and Marge had hired a cult de-programmer, hoping to convince Bart to move out of Mr. Burns' mansion and back in with them), apparently leading him to believe he is the son of Homer and Marge. At one time, it was revealed that Hans Moleman slept with [[Gudrun Sylvester Hvid|Lars Ulrich's grandmother]], and is considered by [[Metallica]] to be a "real fan".
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Due to buying the Astrolabe for himself, Homer had to take the family to get an awful tree in a bad part of town. The tree he purchased immediately caught fire and had to be extinguished. The family started realizing that something was wrong because they should have had enough money for a good tree. The Astrolabe, which Homer had wrapped up, then called out the time in [[Montreal]] and said that the moon was waxing that night. Homer tried to play it off as [[Maggie]]'s first words, but Marge found the gift-wrapped Astrolabe and realized that Homer had wasted their money on something extravagant for himself. [[Lisa]] called Homer selfish, and the Astrolabe then told him it was not returnable and started a three-hour smoke alarm test...
  
Homer once stumbled across Hans Moleman as the leader of a race of Mole People in an underground fortress complete with earthquake machines.
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<p style="font-size: small; text-align: right;">[[Personalized Talking Astrolabe|Read more of this article]] | [[Wikisimpsons:Previous Featured articles|More featured articles]] | [[Wikisimpsons:Featured article|Vote for a featured article]]</p><noinclude>
 
 
<p style="font-size: small; text-align: right;">[[Hans Moleman|Read more of this article]] | [[Wikisimpsons:Previous Featured articles|More featured articles]] | [[Wikisimpsons:Featured article|Vote for a featured article]]</p><noinclude>
 
 
[[Category:Templates]][[sv:Mall:Utvald Artikel]]</noinclude>
 
[[Category:Templates]][[sv:Mall:Utvald Artikel]]</noinclude>

Latest revision as of 07:36, December 1, 2024

Personalized Talking Astrolabe.png

The Personalized Talking Astrolabe is a gold-plated astrolabe.

While out Christmas shopping at Springfield Heights Promenade, Homer spotted the Personalized Talking Astrolabe in the window of Things Unnecessary. Homer immediately became enamored with the object and went into the shop, where an employee showed it to him. However, he looked at the price tag of $500 and realized that if he bought it, he wouldn't have any money left to buy a Christmas tree for the family. The Astrolabe then told Homer that it was Margaret Cho's birthday, which Homer said was the birthday he always forgot. He then decided to buy the Astrolabe.

Due to buying the Astrolabe for himself, Homer had to take the family to get an awful tree in a bad part of town. The tree he purchased immediately caught fire and had to be extinguished. The family started realizing that something was wrong because they should have had enough money for a good tree. The Astrolabe, which Homer had wrapped up, then called out the time in Montreal and said that the moon was waxing that night. Homer tried to play it off as Maggie's first words, but Marge found the gift-wrapped Astrolabe and realized that Homer had wasted their money on something extravagant for himself. Lisa called Homer selfish, and the Astrolabe then told him it was not returnable and started a three-hour smoke alarm test...

Read more of this article | More featured articles | Vote for a featured article