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Difference between revisions of "The Call of the Simpsons/Quotes"

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{{TabQ
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{{TabQ}}
|episode= Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Moaning Lisa|The Telltale Head}}
}}
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(Bart runs to Homer after he is shot by a tranquilizer dart.)
+
:''[Bart runs to Homer after he is shot by a tranquilizer dart]''
:'''Homer''': Avenge me, son. Avenge my death.
+
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Avenge me, son. Avenge my death.
(Homer starts to snore loudly and Bart looks at him surprised.)
+
:''[Homer starts to snore loudly and Bart looks at him surprised]''
 
----
 
----
(At a press conference scientists discuss their findings on Homer.)
+
:''[At a press conference scientists discuss their findings on Homer]''
:'''German Scientist''': This much I believe we can agree upon: this specimen is either a below-average human being or...a brilliant beast.
+
{{qf|German Scientist}} This much I believe we can agree upon: this specimen is either a below-average human being or...a brilliant beast.
 
----
 
----
(Homer and Bart search for a way out of the forest.)
+
:''[Homer and Bart search for a way out of the forest]''
:'''Homer''': Through here, boy. Back to civilization.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Through here, boy. Back to civilization.
:'''Bart''': How do you know?
+
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} How do you know?
:'''Homer''': When you're an experienced woodsman like me, you get a feel for these things. It becomes natural, like a third sense.
+
{{qf|Homer}} When you're an experienced woodsman like me, you get a feel for these things. It becomes natural, like a third sense.
 
----
 
----
(Bob the RV salesman tries to sell Homer the small, beat up RV.)
+
:''[Bob the RV salesman tries to sell Homer the small, beat up RV]''
:'''Bob''': Mr. Simpson, you're never gonna own a better RV. And I don't mean that in a good way. I mean literally, buddy. This is for you, you know? It's this or a wagon.
+
{{qf|[[Cowboy Bob|Bob]]}} Mr. Simpson, you're never gonna own a better RV. And I don't mean that in a good way. I mean literally, buddy. This is for you, you know? It's this or a wagon.
 
----
 
----
(Bob the RV salesman checks Homer's credit on a computer, and a siren wails when the results come back.)
+
:''[Bob the RV salesman checks Homer's credit on a computer, and a siren wails when the results come back]''
:'''Homer''': Is that a good siren? Am I approved?
+
{{qf|Homer}} Is that a good siren? Am I approved?
:'''Bob''': You ever known a siren to be good? (Chuckles) No, Mr. Simpson, it's not. It's a bad siren. That's the computer in case I went blind, telling me, "Sell the vehicle to this fella, and you're outta business." That's what the siren says.
+
{{qf|Bob}} You ever known a siren to be good? ''[Chuckles'') No, Mr. Simpson, it's not. It's a bad siren. That's the computer in case I went blind, telling me, "Sell the vehicle to this fella, and you're outta business." That's what the siren says.
 
----
 
----
(Bob the RV salesman shows the Simpson family the "Ultimate Behemoth.")
+
:''[Bob the RV salesman shows the Simpson family the "Ultimate Behemoth"]''
:'''Bart''': Does it have its own satellite dish, sir?
+
{{qf|Bart}} Does it have its own satellite dish, sir?
:'''Bob''': You can tell your son it has its own satellite. The VanStar One, launched last February, just for this thing, that's all.
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{{qf|Bob}} You can tell your son it has its own satellite. The VanStar One, launched last February, just for this thing, that's all.
:'''Bart''': Whoa, man!
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{{qf|Bart}} Whoa, man!
:'''Marge''': I'm not sure that we can afford--
+
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} I'm not sure that we can afford--
:'''Homer''': Does it have a deep fryer?
+
{{qf|Homer}} Does it have a deep fryer?
:'''Bob''': It has four of them--one for each part of the chicken.
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{{qf|Bob}} It has four of them—one for each part of the chicken.
 
----
 
----
(A naturalist captures a muddy Homer on tape and the footage is shown on the news.)
+
:''[A naturalist captures a muddy Homer on tape and the footage is shown on the news]''
:'''Reporter''': Now, the naturalist who took these absolutely extraordinary pictures was most impressed by the creature's uncivilized look, it's foul language and, most of all, it's indescribable stench.
+
{{qf|Reporter}} Now, the naturalist who took these absolutely extraordinary pictures was most impressed by the creature's uncivilized look, it's foul language and, most of all, it's indescribable stench.
 
----
 
----
(Homer and Bart survive after falling over a waterfall.)
+
:''[Homer and Bart survive after falling over a waterfall]''
:'''Homer''': Oh, Bart! Oh, Bart, my beautiful son! Why couldn't You have taken me? Of all the fates on Heaven and Earth, why did this one befall me? (Sobs Loudly)
+
{{qf|Homer}} Oh, Bart! Oh, Bart, my beautiful son! Why couldn't You have taken me? Of all the fates on Heaven and Earth, why did this one befall me? (Sobs Loudly)
:'''Bart''': Don't have a cow, Dad.
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{{qf|Bart}} Don't have a cow, Dad.
:'''Homer''': What the--D'oh! (Sees Bart on the other side of the river.) You're alive! And (Chuckles) buck naked!
+
{{qf|Homer}} What the—D'oh! ''[Sees Bart on the other side of the river) ''You're alive! And (Chuckles) butt naked!
:'''Bart''': I'm not the only one, Home boy.
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{{qf|Bart}} I'm not the only one who's naked, Home boy.
:'''Homer''': What? Oh! (Chuckles) Jungle man.
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{{qf|Homer}} What? Oh! (''Chuckles'') Jungle man.
(Homer beats his chest and hollers like Tarzan.)
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:''[Homer beats his chest and hollers like Tarzan]''
 
----
 
----
(After his RV crashes at the bottom of a canyon, Homer needs a minute alone.)
+
:''[After his RV crashes at the bottom of a canyon, Homer needs a minute alone]''
:'''Homer''': (To Marge and the kids.) Now you all stay here for a minute while I go over this way and try to get my bearings.
+
{{qf|Homer}} ''[To Marge and the kids]'' Now you all stay here for a minute while I go over this way and try to get my bearings.
(Homer walks into the woods a little ways.)
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:''[Homer walks into the woods a little ways]''
:'''Homer''': What am I gonna do? I've murdered us all!
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{{qf|Homer}} What am I gonna do? I've murdered us all!
:'''Homer's Echo''': I've murdered us all! I've murdered us all!
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{{qf|Homer's Echo}} I've murdered us all! I've murdered us all!
:'''Homer''': Shut up!
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{{qf|Homer}} Shut up!
:'''Homer's Echo''': Shut up! Shut up!
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{{qf|Homer's Echo}} Shut up! Shut up!
:'''Homer''': D'oh!
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{{qf|Homer}} D'oh!
:'''Homer''''s Echo: D'oh! D'oh!
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{{qf|Homer's Echo}} D'oh! D'oh!
(Marge groans, as she and the kids can hear Homer's echo.)
+
:''[Marge groans, as she and the kids can hear Homer's echo]''
 
----
 
----
(Bart and Lisa entertain each other in the back seat of the RV.)
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:''[Bart and Lisa entertain each other in the back seat of the RV]''
:'''Bart''': Turkey farm?
+
{{qf|Bart}} Turkey farm?
:'''Lisa''': No.
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{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} No.
:'''Bart''': Skunks?
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{{qf|Bart}} Skunks?
:'''Lisa''': No.
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{{qf|Lisa}} No.
:'''Bart''': Slaughterhouse?
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{{qf|Bart}} Slaughterhouse?
:'''Lisa''': No.
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{{qf|Lisa}} No.
:'''Marge''': What are you doing back there?
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{{qf|Marge}} What are you doing back there?
:'''Lisa''': We're playing, "What's that odor?"
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{{qf|Lisa}} We're playing, "What's that odor?"
:'''Bart''': Dad's feet?
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{{qf|Bart}} Dad's feet?
:'''Homer''': Bart!
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{{qf|Homer}} Bart!
:'''Lisa''': You win, Bart.
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{{qf|Lisa}} You win, Bart.
:'''Homer''': Lisa!
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{{qf|Homer}} Lisa!
:'''Bart''': Are we there yet, Dad?
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{{qf|Bart}} Are we there yet, Dad?
:'''Homer''': I'll tell you when we get there. Go back to your smell game.
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{{qf|Homer}} I'll tell you when we get there. Go back to your smell game.
 
----
 
----
(Homer drives by Ned Flanders's house in his "new" RV.)
+
:''[Homer drives by Ned Flanders's house in his "new" RV]''
:'''Homer''': Hey, Flanders! Look what I've got!
+
{{qf|Homer}} Hey, Flanders! Look what I've got!
:'''Ned''': (Whistles) Oh, she's a beaut! Hey, congratulations, Simpson! I'm sure you'll have loads of fun!
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{{qf|[[Ned Flanders]]}} (''Whistles'') Oh, she's a beaut! Hey, congratulations, Simpson! I'm sure you'll have loads of fun!
:'''Homer''': (Chuckles to Marge) Jealous.
+
{{qf|Homer}} (''Chuckles to Marge]'' Jealous.
 
----
 
----
(Homer's "Bigfoot" story is reported on TV.)
+
:''[Homer's "Bigfoot" story is reported on TV]''
:'''Reporter''': Naturally, we'll have more on this story as soon as it develops. We now return you to the President's address, already in progress.
+
{{qf|Reporter}} Naturally, we'll have more on this story as soon as it develops. We now return you to the President's address, already in progress.
 
----
 
----
(Homer and Bart head off to find civilization.)
+
:''[Homer and Bart head off to find civilization]''
:'''Lisa''': Remember, Dad, the handle of the Big Dipper points to the North Star.
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Remember, Dad, the handle of the Big Dipper points to the North Star.
:'''Homer''': (Chuckles) That's nice, Lisa, but we're not in astronomy class. We're in the woods.
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{{qf|Homer}} (''Chuckles'') That's nice, Lisa, but we're not in astronomy class. We're in the woods.
(Marge and Lisa both groan.)
+
:''[Marge and Lisa both groan]''
 
----
 
----
:'''Bart''': Hey, Dad, how come we can't get a decent mower, like the Flanders have?
+
{{qf|Bart}} Hey, Dad, how come we can't get a decent mower, like the Flanders have?
:'''Homer''': Just be happy with what what you've got, son. Don't try to keep up with the Flander-es-es.  
+
{{qf|Homer}} Just be happy with what you've got, son. Don't try to keep up with the Flander-es-es.
 
----
 
----
(Bob the RV salesman sees Homer walk onto the lot.)
+
:''[Bob the RV salesman sees Homer walk onto the lot]''
:'''Bob''': Thank you, God.  
+
{{qf|Bob}} Thank you, God.
 
----
 
----
(Ned Flanders shows off his new RV to Homer.)
+
:''[Ned Flanders shows off his new RV to Homer]''
:'''Homer''': But, uh, how can you afford something like this, Ned? I get your mail once in a while, and you make only $27 a week more than I do.  
+
{{qf|Homer}} But, uh, how can you afford something like this, Ned? I get your mail once in a while, and you make only $27 a week more than I do.
  
{{Season 2 Q}}
+
{{Season 1|Q}}
 +
{{DEFAULTSORT:Call of the Simpsons/Quotes}}

Latest revision as of 08:48, March 13, 2022


Season 1 Episode Quotes
006 "Moaning Lisa"
007
"The Call of the Simpsons"
"The Telltale Head" 008


[Bart runs to Homer after he is shot by a tranquilizer dart]
Homer: Avenge me, son. Avenge my death.
[Homer starts to snore loudly and Bart looks at him surprised]

[At a press conference scientists discuss their findings on Homer]
German Scientist: This much I believe we can agree upon: this specimen is either a below-average human being or...a brilliant beast.

[Homer and Bart search for a way out of the forest]
Homer: Through here, boy. Back to civilization.
Bart: How do you know?
Homer: When you're an experienced woodsman like me, you get a feel for these things. It becomes natural, like a third sense.

[Bob the RV salesman tries to sell Homer the small, beat up RV]
Bob: Mr. Simpson, you're never gonna own a better RV. And I don't mean that in a good way. I mean literally, buddy. This is for you, you know? It's this or a wagon.

[Bob the RV salesman checks Homer's credit on a computer, and a siren wails when the results come back]
Homer: Is that a good siren? Am I approved?
Bob: You ever known a siren to be good? [Chuckles) No, Mr. Simpson, it's not. It's a bad siren. That's the computer in case I went blind, telling me, "Sell the vehicle to this fella, and you're outta business." That's what the siren says.

[Bob the RV salesman shows the Simpson family the "Ultimate Behemoth"]
Bart: Does it have its own satellite dish, sir?
Bob: You can tell your son it has its own satellite. The VanStar One, launched last February, just for this thing, that's all.
Bart: Whoa, man!
Marge: I'm not sure that we can afford--
Homer: Does it have a deep fryer?
Bob: It has four of them—one for each part of the chicken.

[A naturalist captures a muddy Homer on tape and the footage is shown on the news]
Reporter: Now, the naturalist who took these absolutely extraordinary pictures was most impressed by the creature's uncivilized look, it's foul language and, most of all, it's indescribable stench.

[Homer and Bart survive after falling over a waterfall]
Homer: Oh, Bart! Oh, Bart, my beautiful son! Why couldn't You have taken me? Of all the fates on Heaven and Earth, why did this one befall me? (Sobs Loudly)
Bart: Don't have a cow, Dad.
Homer: What the—D'oh! [Sees Bart on the other side of the river) You're alive! And (Chuckles) butt naked!
Bart: I'm not the only one who's naked, Home boy.
Homer: What? Oh! (Chuckles) Jungle man.
[Homer beats his chest and hollers like Tarzan]

[After his RV crashes at the bottom of a canyon, Homer needs a minute alone]
Homer: [To Marge and the kids] Now you all stay here for a minute while I go over this way and try to get my bearings.
[Homer walks into the woods a little ways]
Homer: What am I gonna do? I've murdered us all!
Homer's Echo: I've murdered us all! I've murdered us all!
Homer: Shut up!
Homer's Echo: Shut up! Shut up!
Homer: D'oh!
Homer's Echo: D'oh! D'oh!
[Marge groans, as she and the kids can hear Homer's echo]

[Bart and Lisa entertain each other in the back seat of the RV]
Bart: Turkey farm?
Lisa: No.
Bart: Skunks?
Lisa: No.
Bart: Slaughterhouse?
Lisa: No.
Marge: What are you doing back there?
Lisa: We're playing, "What's that odor?"
Bart: Dad's feet?
Homer: Bart!
Lisa: You win, Bart.
Homer: Lisa!
Bart: Are we there yet, Dad?
Homer: I'll tell you when we get there. Go back to your smell game.

[Homer drives by Ned Flanders's house in his "new" RV]
Homer: Hey, Flanders! Look what I've got!
Ned Flanders: (Whistles) Oh, she's a beaut! Hey, congratulations, Simpson! I'm sure you'll have loads of fun!
Homer: (Chuckles to Marge] Jealous.

[Homer's "Bigfoot" story is reported on TV]
Reporter: Naturally, we'll have more on this story as soon as it develops. We now return you to the President's address, already in progress.

[Homer and Bart head off to find civilization]
Lisa: Remember, Dad, the handle of the Big Dipper points to the North Star.
Homer: (Chuckles) That's nice, Lisa, but we're not in astronomy class. We're in the woods.
[Marge and Lisa both groan]

Bart: Hey, Dad, how come we can't get a decent mower, like the Flanders have?
Homer: Just be happy with what you've got, son. Don't try to keep up with the Flander-es-es.

[Bob the RV salesman sees Homer walk onto the lot]
Bob: Thank you, God.

[Ned Flanders shows off his new RV to Homer]
Homer: But, uh, how can you afford something like this, Ned? I get your mail once in a while, and you make only $27 a week more than I do.
Season 1 Quotes
Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire Bart the Genius Homer's Odyssey There's No Disgrace Like Home Bart the General Moaning Lisa The Call of the Simpsons The Telltale Head Life on the Fast Lane Homer's Night Out The Crepes of Wrath Krusty Gets Busted Some Enchanted Evening