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Difference between revisions of "Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass/Quotes"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
Line 5: Line 5:
  
 
==Quotes==
 
==Quotes==
*'''Homer''': ''(singing, after beating Bart in the game)'' "I'm number one! I beat my son! Victory is mine! So kiss my behind!" ''(scutting and grunting at Bart)'' "In your face!" ''(starts dancing)''
+
:'''Homer''': ''(singing, after beating Bart in the game)'' "I'm number one! I beat my son! Victory is mine! So kiss my behind!" ''(scutting and grunting at Bart)'' "In your face!" ''(starts dancing)''
*'''Tom Brady:''' "Everyone sucks but me."
+
----
*'''Burns:''' What would you use instead of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_power Nuclear power]?<br />'''Marge:''' [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solar_energy Solar].<br />'''Lenny:''' [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hydroelectricity Hydroelectric].<br />'''Moe:''' A mix of conservation and [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wind_turbine wind].<br />'''Burns:''' Who told you about those?<br />'''Carl:''' The talking tree in a commercial. [http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/pass11.mp3 audio clip]
+
:'''Tom Brady:''' "Everyone sucks but me."
*'''Prof. Frink:''' (after seeing Ned's film, [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Passion_of_the_Christ The Passion of Cain and Abel]) You have taught me a world of faith beyond the world of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Science science]. I would pay to see it again and again and again and again but '''''NOT SIX TIMES!!!''''' [http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/pass8.mp3 audio clip]
+
----
*'''Homer:''' I wish I were a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Screensaver screensaver].
+
:'''Burns:''' What would you use instead of Nuclear power?
*'''Comic Book Guy:''' My name is Jeff Albertson, but everyone calls me "Comic Book Guy".
+
:'''Marge:''' Solar.
*'''Michelle Kwan:''' Beware the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Trek_II:_The_Wrath_of_Khan wrath of Kwan]!
+
:'''Lenny:''' Hydroelectric.
*'''Milhouse:''' Look! It's my hero, Michelle Kwan!<br />'''Michelle Kwan:''' You remind me of a young [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dorothy_Hamill Dorothy Hamill].<br />'''Milhouse:''' I didn't know you could talk!
+
:'''Moe:''' A mix of conservation and wind.
*''The Passion of Cain and Abel''<br />''(Todd ([http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abel Abel]) and Rod ([http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cain Cain]) are together as Rod uses Todd's Shepard stick to sharpen his [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/knife knife]. Ned ([http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_and_Eve Adam]), wearing nothing but a leaf on his crotch walks up to them)''<br />'''Ned:''' Boys, I just talked to [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God God]. He's vacuuming Heaven to get it ready for when [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death dead] people show up. And he'd like you both to render a sacrifice.<br />'''Todd:''' I shall sacrifice my finest [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cereal grains] and [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/livestock livestock].<br />(cut to Todd setting his sacrifice on fire. Rod's sacrifice only has a few [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/rotting rotting] [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/rodent rodents])<br />'''Todd:''' Behold. I have found favor with the Lord.<br />'''Rod:''' So shall my [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knife knife] find favor with thy [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abdomen belly]!<br />''(Rod begins stabbing Todd. Ned, dressed as the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devil Devil], laughs as he watches Abel's murder. There are several gruesome close-ups to the stabbing and two newspaper headlines appear: "[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massachusetts Massachusetts] Okays [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_marriage Gay Marriage]" and "[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stem_cell Stem Cells] Cure [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alzheimer%E2%80%99s_Disease Alzheimer's]". Rod kills Todd and runs off)''<br />''(cut to Ned covering Todd)''<br />'''Ned:''' Now, I must bury my son, while '''''you''''' wander the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earth Earth] forever, with the mark of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evil evil] upon your face!<br />''(Rod turns; the left side of his face is now grotesquely deformed, complete with his left [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye eye] hanging out of its socket)''<br />'''THE END'''
+
:'''Burns:''' Who told you about those?
*'''Crazy Cat Lady:''' ''(calm)'' Thanks to this [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychoactive_drug psychoactive medication] I enjoy brief moments of lucidity.<br />'''Marge:''' Those are [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reese%27s_Pieces Reese's Pieces].<br />'''Crazy Cat Lady:''' ''(goes crazy)''
+
:''Carl:''' The talking tree in a commercial.
*'''Frank:''' Oh, I paid a thousand dollars for this seat and I can't even see the game!<br />'''Marge:''' Just poke through!<br />(Frank then pokes his head through Marge's hair)
+
----
*'''Announcer:''' The crowd gets ready for the half-time show, sponsored by the new [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ford_Motor_Company Ford] pickups, [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citibank Citibank], and Moe's Tavern'.<br />''(cut to private [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skybox skybox], where Moe and the two executives are watching the game)''<br />'''Executive 1:''' How could you afford this?<br />'''Moe:''' I hustled a lot of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/billiards pool]. Speaking of which, you wanna play? I gotta warn ya though, I ain't that good.<br />'''Executive 1:''' Alright. ''(under his breath)'' Sucker.<br />''(Moe swings his [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/cue_stick cue stick] full force against the executive's back, possibly killing him)''<br />'''Moe:''' Who's the sucker now!? Huh?!!
+
:'''Prof. Frink:''' (after seeing Ned's film, The Passion of Cain and Abel) You have taught me a world of faith beyond the world of science. I would pay to see it again and again and again and again but '''''NOT SIX TIMES!!!'''''  
*'''Mother:''' You try to raise your kids as [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secular_Humanism secular humanists] but these show-biz types keep shoving religion down our throat.<br />'''Kid:''' Mommy, why wasn't I [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baptism baptized]?<br />'''Mother:''' You see? YOU SEE??
+
----
*'''Yao Ming:''' "Wo zhen de bu dong ni men de yu yan." ("I really don't understand your language" in Mandarin)<br />'''Lisa:''' But I heard you have an excellent knowledge of English.<br />'''Yao Ming:''' "Shut up kid, I've got a good thing going on!"
+
:'''Homer:''' I wish I were a screensaver.
*''(the athletes are carrying an ark in Homer's show)''<br />'''Tom:''' You think Homer's mad at me? I waved at him in the parking lot and his stared right through me.<br />'''Yao:''' I left the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People%27s_Republic_of_China People's Republic] for this?<br />'''Warren:''' Yo, Michelle, ya got a boyfriend?<br />'''Michelle:''' Not in here I don't.
+
----
 +
:'''Comic Book Guy:''' My name is Jeff Albertson, but everyone calls me "Comic Book Guy".
 +
----
 +
:'''Michelle Kwan:''' Beware the wrath of Kwan!
 +
----
 +
:'''Milhouse:''' Look! It's my hero, Michelle Kwan!
 +
:'''Michelle Kwan:''' You remind me of a young {{W|Dorothy Hamill}}.
 +
:'''Milhouse:''' I didn't know you could talk!
 +
----
 +
:'''Crazy Cat Lady:''' ''(calm)'' Thanks to this medication I enjoy brief moments of lucidity.
 +
:'''Marge:''' Those are Reese's Pieces.
 +
:'''Crazy Cat Lady:''' ''(goes crazy)''
 +
----
 +
:'''Frank:''' Oh, I paid a thousand dollars for this seat and I can't even see the game!
 +
:'''Marge:''' Just poke through!
 +
:''(Frank then pokes his head through Marge's hair)''
 +
--
 +
:'''Announcer:''' The crowd gets ready for the half-time show, sponsored by the new Ford pickups, Citibank, and Moe's Tavern'.
 +
:''(cut to private skybox, where Moe and the two executives are watching the game)''
 +
:'''Executive 1:''' How could you afford this?
 +
:'''Moe:''' I hustled a lot of pool. Speaking of which, you wanna play? I gotta warn ya though, I ain't that good.
 +
:'''Executive 1:''' Alright. ''(under his breath)'' Sucker.
 +
:''(Moe swings his cue stick full force against the executive's back, possibly killing him)''
 +
:'''Moe:''' Who's the sucker now!? Huh?!!
 +
----
 +
:'''Mother:''' You try to raise your kids as humanists but these show-biz types keep shoving religion down our throat.
 +
:'''Kid:''' Mommy, why wasn't I baptized?
 +
:'''Mother:''' You see? YOU SEE??
 +
----
 +
:'''Yao Ming:''' "Wo zhen de bu dong ni men de yu yan." ("I really don't understand your language" in Mandarin)
 +
:'''Lisa:''' But I heard you have an excellent knowledge of English.
 +
:'''Yao Ming:''' "Shut up kid, I've got a good thing going on!"
 +
----
 +
:''(the athletes are carrying an ark in Homer's show)''
 +
:'''Tom:''' You think Homer's mad at me? I waved at him in the parking lot and his stared right through me.
 +
:'''Yao:''' I left the People's Republic for this?
 +
:'''Warren:''' Yo, Michelle, ya got a boyfriend?
 +
:'''Michelle:''' Not in here I don't.
 +
----
 +
:'''LeBron:''' Omelettes? For dinner? This is the best day of my life!
 +
:'''Lisa:''' Didn't you just sign a $100 million dollar contract?
 +
:'''LeBron:''' Oh yeah. That was a good day too.
  
*'''LeBron:''' Omelettes? For dinner? This is the best day of my life!
+
{{Season 16 Q}}
  
*'''Lisa:'''Didn't you just sign a $100 million dollar contract?
 
 
*'''LeBron:'''Oh yeah. That was a good day too.
 
{{Season 16 Q}}
 
 
[[Category:Quotes]]
 
[[Category:Quotes]]

Revision as of 18:40, December 23, 2011



Cleanup 3.PNG This article or section needs to be cleaned up to fit in with the Manual of Style.

Quotes

Homer: (singing, after beating Bart in the game) "I'm number one! I beat my son! Victory is mine! So kiss my behind!" (scutting and grunting at Bart) "In your face!" (starts dancing)

Tom Brady: "Everyone sucks but me."

Burns: What would you use instead of Nuclear power?
Marge: Solar.
Lenny: Hydroelectric.
Moe: A mix of conservation and wind.
Burns: Who told you about those?
Carl:' The talking tree in a commercial.

Prof. Frink: (after seeing Ned's film, The Passion of Cain and Abel) You have taught me a world of faith beyond the world of science. I would pay to see it again and again and again and again but NOT SIX TIMES!!!

Homer: I wish I were a screensaver.

Comic Book Guy: My name is Jeff Albertson, but everyone calls me "Comic Book Guy".

Michelle Kwan: Beware the wrath of Kwan!

Milhouse: Look! It's my hero, Michelle Kwan!
Michelle Kwan: You remind me of a young Dorothy Hamill.
Milhouse: I didn't know you could talk!

Crazy Cat Lady: (calm) Thanks to this medication I enjoy brief moments of lucidity.
Marge: Those are Reese's Pieces.
Crazy Cat Lady: (goes crazy)

Frank: Oh, I paid a thousand dollars for this seat and I can't even see the game!
Marge: Just poke through!
(Frank then pokes his head through Marge's hair)

--

Announcer: The crowd gets ready for the half-time show, sponsored by the new Ford pickups, Citibank, and Moe's Tavern'.
(cut to private skybox, where Moe and the two executives are watching the game)
Executive 1: How could you afford this?
Moe: I hustled a lot of pool. Speaking of which, you wanna play? I gotta warn ya though, I ain't that good.
Executive 1: Alright. (under his breath) Sucker.
(Moe swings his cue stick full force against the executive's back, possibly killing him)
Moe: Who's the sucker now!? Huh?!!

Mother: You try to raise your kids as humanists but these show-biz types keep shoving religion down our throat.
Kid: Mommy, why wasn't I baptized?
Mother: You see? YOU SEE??

Yao Ming: "Wo zhen de bu dong ni men de yu yan." ("I really don't understand your language" in Mandarin)
Lisa: But I heard you have an excellent knowledge of English.
Yao Ming: "Shut up kid, I've got a good thing going on!"

(the athletes are carrying an ark in Homer's show)
Tom: You think Homer's mad at me? I waved at him in the parking lot and his stared right through me.
Yao: I left the People's Republic for this?
Warren: Yo, Michelle, ya got a boyfriend?
Michelle: Not in here I don't.

LeBron: Omelettes? For dinner? This is the best day of my life!
Lisa: Didn't you just sign a $100 million dollar contract?
LeBron: Oh yeah. That was a good day too.

Template:Season 16 Q