Difference between revisions of "Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass/Quotes"
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==Quotes== | ==Quotes== | ||
*'''Homer''': ''(singing, after beating Bart in the game)'' "I'm number one! I beat my son! Victory is mine! So kiss my behind!" ''(scutting and grunting at Bart)'' "In your face!" ''(starts dancing)'' | *'''Homer''': ''(singing, after beating Bart in the game)'' "I'm number one! I beat my son! Victory is mine! So kiss my behind!" ''(scutting and grunting at Bart)'' "In your face!" ''(starts dancing)'' | ||
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*'''Crazy Cat Lady:''' ''(calm)'' Thanks to this [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychoactive_drug psychoactive medication] I enjoy brief moments of lucidity.<br />'''Marge:''' Those are [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reese%27s_Pieces Reese's Pieces].<br />'''Crazy Cat Lady:''' ''(goes crazy)'' | *'''Crazy Cat Lady:''' ''(calm)'' Thanks to this [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychoactive_drug psychoactive medication] I enjoy brief moments of lucidity.<br />'''Marge:''' Those are [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reese%27s_Pieces Reese's Pieces].<br />'''Crazy Cat Lady:''' ''(goes crazy)'' | ||
*'''Frank:''' Oh, I paid a thousand dollars for this seat and I can't even see the game!<br />'''Marge:''' Just poke through!<br />(Frank then pokes his head through Marge's hair) | *'''Frank:''' Oh, I paid a thousand dollars for this seat and I can't even see the game!<br />'''Marge:''' Just poke through!<br />(Frank then pokes his head through Marge's hair) | ||
| − | *'''Announcer:''' The crowd gets ready for the half-time show, sponsored by the new [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ford_Motor_Company Ford] pickups, [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citibank Citibank], and | + | *'''Announcer:''' The crowd gets ready for the half-time show, sponsored by the new [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ford_Motor_Company Ford] pickups, [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citibank Citibank], and Moe's Tavern'.<br />''(cut to private [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skybox skybox], where Moe and the two executives are watching the game)''<br />'''Executive 1:''' How could you afford this?<br />'''Moe:''' I hustled a lot of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/billiards pool]. Speaking of which, you wanna play? I gotta warn ya though, I ain't that good.<br />'''Executive 1:''' Alright. ''(under his breath)'' Sucker.<br />''(Moe swings his [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/cue_stick cue stick] full force against the executive's back, possibly killing him)''<br />'''Moe:''' Who's the sucker now!? Huh?!! |
*'''Mother:''' You try to raise your kids as [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secular_Humanism secular humanists] but these show-biz types keep shoving religion down our throat.<br />'''Kid:''' Mommy, why wasn't I [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baptism baptized]?<br />'''Mother:''' You see? YOU SEE?? | *'''Mother:''' You try to raise your kids as [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secular_Humanism secular humanists] but these show-biz types keep shoving religion down our throat.<br />'''Kid:''' Mommy, why wasn't I [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baptism baptized]?<br />'''Mother:''' You see? YOU SEE?? | ||
*'''Yao Ming:''' "Wo zhen de bu dong ni men de yu yan." ("I really don't understand your language" in Mandarin)<br />'''Lisa:''' But I heard you have an excellent knowledge of English.<br />'''Yao Ming:''' "Shut up kid, I've got a good thing going on!" | *'''Yao Ming:''' "Wo zhen de bu dong ni men de yu yan." ("I really don't understand your language" in Mandarin)<br />'''Lisa:''' But I heard you have an excellent knowledge of English.<br />'''Yao Ming:''' "Shut up kid, I've got a good thing going on!" | ||
Revision as of 18:06, December 23, 2011
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This article or section needs to be cleaned up to fit in with the Manual of Style. |
Quotes
- Homer: (singing, after beating Bart in the game) "I'm number one! I beat my son! Victory is mine! So kiss my behind!" (scutting and grunting at Bart) "In your face!" (starts dancing)
- Tom Brady: "Everyone sucks but me."
- Burns: What would you use instead of Nuclear power?
Marge: Solar.
Lenny: Hydroelectric.
Moe: A mix of conservation and wind.
Burns: Who told you about those?
Carl: The talking tree in a commercial. audio clip - Prof. Frink: (after seeing Ned's film, The Passion of Cain and Abel) You have taught me a world of faith beyond the world of science. I would pay to see it again and again and again and again but NOT SIX TIMES!!! audio clip
- Homer: I wish I were a screensaver.
- Comic Book Guy: My name is Jeff Albertson, but everyone calls me "Comic Book Guy".
- Michelle Kwan: Beware the wrath of Kwan!
- Milhouse: Look! It's my hero, Michelle Kwan!
Michelle Kwan: You remind me of a young Dorothy Hamill.
Milhouse: I didn't know you could talk! - The Passion of Cain and Abel
(Todd (Abel) and Rod (Cain) are together as Rod uses Todd's Shepard stick to sharpen his knife. Ned (Adam), wearing nothing but a leaf on his crotch walks up to them)
Ned: Boys, I just talked to God. He's vacuuming Heaven to get it ready for when dead people show up. And he'd like you both to render a sacrifice.
Todd: I shall sacrifice my finest grains and livestock.
(cut to Todd setting his sacrifice on fire. Rod's sacrifice only has a few rotting rodents)
Todd: Behold. I have found favor with the Lord.
Rod: So shall my knife find favor with thy belly!
(Rod begins stabbing Todd. Ned, dressed as the Devil, laughs as he watches Abel's murder. There are several gruesome close-ups to the stabbing and two newspaper headlines appear: "Massachusetts Okays Gay Marriage" and "Stem Cells Cure Alzheimer's". Rod kills Todd and runs off)
(cut to Ned covering Todd)
Ned: Now, I must bury my son, while you wander the Earth forever, with the mark of evil upon your face!
(Rod turns; the left side of his face is now grotesquely deformed, complete with his left eye hanging out of its socket)
THE END - Crazy Cat Lady: (calm) Thanks to this psychoactive medication I enjoy brief moments of lucidity.
Marge: Those are Reese's Pieces.
Crazy Cat Lady: (goes crazy) - Frank: Oh, I paid a thousand dollars for this seat and I can't even see the game!
Marge: Just poke through!
(Frank then pokes his head through Marge's hair) - Announcer: The crowd gets ready for the half-time show, sponsored by the new Ford pickups, Citibank, and Moe's Tavern'.
(cut to private skybox, where Moe and the two executives are watching the game)
Executive 1: How could you afford this?
Moe: I hustled a lot of pool. Speaking of which, you wanna play? I gotta warn ya though, I ain't that good.
Executive 1: Alright. (under his breath) Sucker.
(Moe swings his cue stick full force against the executive's back, possibly killing him)
Moe: Who's the sucker now!? Huh?!! - Mother: You try to raise your kids as secular humanists but these show-biz types keep shoving religion down our throat.
Kid: Mommy, why wasn't I baptized?
Mother: You see? YOU SEE?? - Yao Ming: "Wo zhen de bu dong ni men de yu yan." ("I really don't understand your language" in Mandarin)
Lisa: But I heard you have an excellent knowledge of English.
Yao Ming: "Shut up kid, I've got a good thing going on!" - (the athletes are carrying an ark in Homer's show)
Tom: You think Homer's mad at me? I waved at him in the parking lot and his stared right through me.
Yao: I left the People's Republic for this?
Warren: Yo, Michelle, ya got a boyfriend?
Michelle: Not in here I don't.
- LeBron: Omelettes? For dinner? This is the best day of my life!
- Lisa:Didn't you just sign a $100 million dollar contract?
- LeBron:Oh yeah. That was a good day too.
