Difference between revisions of "The Book of Jobs/Quotes"
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− | + | {{qf|[[Lindsey Naegle]]}} Mr. Simpson, it looks like you've invented a new bakery treat! Half fritter, half macaroon. We call them "Frittaroons!" | |
− | + | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} Lindsey Naegle? What are you doing here? | |
− | + | {{qf|Lindsey Naegle}} Hello, Marge! I'm always on the hunt for new innovative ideas and ways to "Zuckerberg" my way into a creator credit. | |
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} Brad and Neil from Powersauce? | |
− | + | {{qf|[[Neil]]}} That's us! | |
− | + | {{qf|{{ap|Brad|King of the Hill}}}} Actually, we had to stop selling Powersauce bars since the FDA discredited all of our claims. | |
− | + | {{qf|Neil}} But now we have anew idea that is guaranteed to work. The neanderthal diet. You can only eat foods that a caveman would eat! | |
− | + | {{qf|Brad}} And your body type makes your the perfect before model! | |
− | + | {{qf|Neil}} We need you eat meat! | |
− | + | {{qf|Brad}} Lots and lots of meat | |
− | + | {{qf|Homer}} Woo-hoo! | |
− | + | {{qf|Brad}} Sadly, you can't eat Fritaroons on the Neanderthal diet! No carbs. | |
− | + | {{qf|Homer}} D-d-d'oh! | |
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | {{qf|Homer}} I've got to say, Marge. Helping others felt pretty good! | |
− | + | {{qf|Marge}} Then keep doing it! You get so many different job offers that you could start your own employment office. | |
− | + | {{qf|Homer}} Really? | |
− | + | {{qf|Marge}} Yes! And it's a lot safer than running wild with your usual ideas. | |
− | + | {{qf|Homer}} Okay! I just texted Mr. Smithers and quit my job! | |
− | + | {{qf|Marge}} Homer, you didn't have to do that. | |
− | + | {{qf|Homer}} They'll have to hire someone new to replace me. See, Marge? I'm already creating jobs for this city! | |
− | + | {{qf|Marge}} Hrmmm... | |
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | {{qf|[[Comic Book Guy]]}} Bwa-ha-ha! I feel like a god! Like Mastermind, The Pupper Master or The Anti-Life equation... I control Springfield's every move! | |
---- | ---- | ||
− | + | {{qf|[[The Rich Texan]]}} Mr. Simpson, you worked real hard this past week. My insurance company desperately could use a man like you! We'd like you to be our new claims adjuster. | |
− | + | {{qf|Homer}} What does that mean? | |
− | + | {{qf|The Rich Texan}} You figure out how much yo pay our customers if they ever get in an accident! It's a nice, cushy desk job! Bang bang! | |
− | + | {{qf|Homer}} Can I, Marge? It's always been my dream to work in the insurance industry! | |
− | + | {{qf|Marge}} Go right ahead. Maybe a conformable, stable job is just what you needed. I mean, chaos can't follow your everywhere, right? | |
{{DEFAULTSORT:Book of Jobs/Quotes, The}} | {{DEFAULTSORT:Book of Jobs/Quotes, The}} | ||
+ | |||
+ | [[Category:Simpsons Comics stories quotes]] |
Latest revision as of 09:08, August 25, 2022
- Lindsey Naegle: Mr. Simpson, it looks like you've invented a new bakery treat! Half fritter, half macaroon. We call them "Frittaroons!"
- Marge: Lindsey Naegle? What are you doing here?
- Lindsey Naegle: Hello, Marge! I'm always on the hunt for new innovative ideas and ways to "Zuckerberg" my way into a creator credit.
- Homer: Brad and Neil from Powersauce?
- Neil: That's us!
- Brad: Actually, we had to stop selling Powersauce bars since the FDA discredited all of our claims.
- Neil: But now we have anew idea that is guaranteed to work. The neanderthal diet. You can only eat foods that a caveman would eat!
- Brad: And your body type makes your the perfect before model!
- Neil: We need you eat meat!
- Brad: Lots and lots of meat
- Homer: Woo-hoo!
- Brad: Sadly, you can't eat Fritaroons on the Neanderthal diet! No carbs.
- Homer: D-d-d'oh!
- Homer: I've got to say, Marge. Helping others felt pretty good!
- Marge: Then keep doing it! You get so many different job offers that you could start your own employment office.
- Homer: Really?
- Marge: Yes! And it's a lot safer than running wild with your usual ideas.
- Homer: Okay! I just texted Mr. Smithers and quit my job!
- Marge: Homer, you didn't have to do that.
- Homer: They'll have to hire someone new to replace me. See, Marge? I'm already creating jobs for this city!
- Marge: Hrmmm...
- Comic Book Guy: Bwa-ha-ha! I feel like a god! Like Mastermind, The Pupper Master or The Anti-Life equation... I control Springfield's every move!
- The Rich Texan: Mr. Simpson, you worked real hard this past week. My insurance company desperately could use a man like you! We'd like you to be our new claims adjuster.
- Homer: What does that mean?
- The Rich Texan: You figure out how much yo pay our customers if they ever get in an accident! It's a nice, cushy desk job! Bang bang!
- Homer: Can I, Marge? It's always been my dream to work in the insurance industry!
- Marge: Go right ahead. Maybe a conformable, stable job is just what you needed. I mean, chaos can't follow your everywhere, right?