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Thirst Trap: A Corporate Love Story/Quotes

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Season 35 Episode Quotes
753 "McMansion & Wife"
754
"Thirst Trap: A Corporate Love Story"
"Treehouse of Horror XXXIV" 755


Mr. Burns: So, you want me to talk about Persephone Odair? That's easy. She was a brilliant entrepreneur who wanted to save the world. How I wish that was her only shortcoming.

Narrator: This story is about a little girl who had a dream. But it begins with another little girl who allowed us to use the footage from when she interviewed the first little girl who is no longer a little girl.

Lisa: What was the "aha moment" that gave you the idea to start LifeBoat?
Persephone Odair: Great question. And, Lisa, great questions are the jackhammers, which demo the walls built by distrupto-phobes to create the open floorplan of innovation.
Lisa: I've always thought that about questions.

Persephone: Lisa, my grandfather was a World War II sailor whose ship was torpedoed. He was stranded on a lifeboat, Lisa, surrounded by water but not a drop to drink.
Lisa: Don't tell me he died.
Persephone: Worse. He gave up. And then he died, of quitting and super-duper dehydration.

Oil executive: We sell chemicals that can put out that fire. Granted, those chemicals turn alligators into Godzillas, but we're working on a bomb that can fix that.

Persephone: Success is a decision. Dare to choose it, sir. Dare to.
Mr. Burns: Of course. Like how I chose to be born rich.

Mr. Burns: In addition, all workers in sector 7-G are immediately fired...
Homer: Hey, that's me! Screw you, pig!
Mr. Burns: And are rehired at higher tech industry salaries.
Homer: Bless you, pig!

Homer: Um, is this one of those documentaries where I'm not supposed to look at the camera? Or is it like The Office where I always look at it and do a big take so the audience knows when to laugh?

Homer: Tech salaries are the greatest. This week, I gave Marge 200 stock options to go grocery shopping.
Marge: It didn't work at all. I had to put all the food back on the shelves.

Marge: The whole company got so paranoid. Because of those NDAs he signed, Homer couldn't even tell me how his day was.
Homer: I can neither confirm nor deny I had a day.

Professor Frink: Well, it was strange they wouldn't let me look inside the machines, since my title was Chief Engineer of Inside the Machine.

Mr. Burns: I wanted to give my wife... wow, wife, still getting used to saying that... A little something special for her birthday.
Persephone: A Twitter gift card?
Mr. Burns: No. I bought you Twitter. The whole company. It was a bargain. The previous owner had to sell it after his self-driving Mars rocket crashed into the International Space Station.

Kara Swisher: Montgomery Burns wasn't happy with the documentary about his wife's start-up, so he bought the company that made it, but that didn't stop others from telling the story, because the business of business documentaries is big business.

Homer: Carl. You sent the message. You've been working in the lab all along?
Carl Carlson: If I didn't do their dirty work, they'd tell the world my dark secret. I've been to 700 Jimmy Buffett concerts! I'm a parrot-head.

Mr. Burns: Nonsense. My wife is a beautiful genius, who succeeds at everything she touches. And everything she says makes perfect sense.
Persephone: The wheel of tomorrow is an aqua-circle. Let's make it rain.

Persephone: Water is the original crypto. Every drop is encoded on the biological blockchain, and we are the aquanauts of the potable future. This is wet 3.0!
Mr. Burns: I don't understand a thing she's ever said.

Mr. Burns: Dear. Those children are going to drink poison. And the bad news is... I'm going to be liable. Liable!

Mr. Burns: Yes, I was besotted, blind to her machinations. She cost me billions. It wasn't that she was evil, I love evil. It's that she still insists she's good.

Christiane Amanpour: Testing showed your de-salinator did absolutely nothing, your company is bankrupt, and in the divorce, Mr. Burns somehow got your high school friends. What happens from here?
Persephone: Well, Christiane Amanpour, as you say, things have never looked better for the company.
Christiane Amanpour: I didn't say that. The reality is, you're in jail.
Season 35 Quotes
Homer's Crossing A Mid-Childhood Night's Dream McMansion & Wife Thirst Trap: A Corporate Love Story Treehouse of Horror XXXIV Iron Marge It's a Blunderful Life Ae Bonny Romance Murder, She Boat Do the Wrong Thing Frinkenstein's Monster Lisa Gets an F1 Clan of the Cave Mom Night of the Living Wage Cremains of the Day The Tell-Tale Pants The Tipping Point Bart's Brain