Wilde at Heart!
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The contents of this article are based on an issue of Simpsons Comics or another comic series and is considered to be non-canon and may not have actually happened/existed.
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Wilde at Heart!
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Comic Story information
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Wilde at Heart! is a Simpsons Comics story first printed in Simpsons Comics #196.
Contents
Synopsis[edit]
- "After going to a used book sale at the library, Homer and Lisa take some books to the Springfield Retirement Castle, where Grampa reads to them from The Complete Works of Oscar Wilde. However, without his missing glasses, Grampa's take on the Irish poet and playwright's fairy stories become truly wild indeed."
Plot[edit]
Lisa visits the library and finds out that they are throwing all the books away after they digitized the books. They give Lisa the books because they do not need them anymore. Lisa decides to give the books to the old folks of Springfield Retirement Castle, and Grampa begins to read a book with stories from Oscar Wilde to Homer.
The Picture of Dorian Gray[edit]
It is picture day at Dorian Gray's school, but he does not like his portrait. At lunch time, the bullies attempt to steal his lunch money but they fail and give up. Dorian discovers that his portrait got all the bangs. He visits his dad at work, and his dad begins to strangle him because he skipped school. Dorian is still not moving; however, his portrait is suffering. The same thing happens when he eats a large meal. The school's students think Dorian is brave for taking so many risks and not letting it scratch on him, but when Dorian says his friendship with his best friend is over, his portrait begins to cry.
Dorian sits on the couch and watches TV for the third night in a row, and his sister starts to think it's strange that he did not need to sleep. Dorian tells the truth about why he does it, so his sister steals the picture and draws a mustache, glasses and stink lines on it. Dorian gets laughed at by his old friends and when his dog finds the photo under his dad's socks, he destroys the photo.
The Selfish Giant[edit]
The next story is about a giant who lives in a magical kingdom where he has everything he wants, but one day he discovers that his pool is full of ice. He bangs his head on the ice and ends up in the icy water when the ice cracks. He hears on the radio that there will be warm summer weather everywhere except the selfish giant's garden, where it will be cold. The giant later discovers that it's just cold around him when he sees leprechaun kids playing in his garden on a patch of green, but when he chases away the kids it becomes cold in the spot where they were playing. However, one leprechaun is still with him. The leprechaun starts to play with the giant and thinks he's funny, and becomes his new friend. The giant loves his new friend so much that now it is always summer wherever he is, and his entire garden soon becomes green. The leprechaun persuades the giant to let his friends also play with him, which he accepts. The giant tells the leprechaun that he was cold-hearted for so long that his garden was freezing, but his love has brought summer back. A leprechaun replies that it was actually caused by environmental damage, but he does not believe it, and starts to drive his large jeep around.
The Remarkable Rocket[edit]
A couple of rockets are going to perform, and one of the rockets argues that the audience will only like him, which the other does not believe. The rocket asks Sideshow Bomb what he should do, and he says he'll explode a spiky-haired boy. The rocket tells him not to do political things because it's his thing. The rocket sees a happy rocket who says that he is glad that he lights up the audience's life. He is then visited by a spiky-haired boy who has survived the bomb. The boy tells him that he is his biggest fan and wants an autograph, but he won't give him one. The rocket is up next on the stage, but he is not ready until later. However, it turns out that the crowd has gone away because they were tired of waiting. The rocket says that he'll try again next time, but a man replies that there will not be a next time because they need him in the war.
Grampa then discovers that Homer has gone, but Lisa enters his room with more books and asks him to read an Agatha Christie book for her, which he does.
Reprints[edit]
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