• Wikisimpsons needs more Featured Article, Picture, Quote, Episode and Comprehensive article nominations!
  • Wikisimpsons has a Discord server! Click here for your invite! Join to talk about the wiki, Simpsons and Tapped Out news, or just to talk to other users.
  • Make an account! It's easy, free, and your work on the wiki can be attributed to you.
TwitterFacebookDiscord

The Simpsons: Tapped Out Northward Bound content update/Gameplay

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki

Second Fiddle[edit]

Second Fiddle Pt. 1[edit]

After the user logs in on November 17th:
Brockman ...with the melting of the polar ice caps and the opening of the Northwest Passage, Canada now has a new shipping lane which will allow its international trade to increase dramatically.
Homer See, Lisa, climate change isn't all bad. It's been good for Canada.
Lisa Yes, Dad, the impending end of our existence on Earth does have a benefit for Canada. And it couldn't have happened to a nicer country.
Homer Pfft. They'll never be as great as America.
Lisa But, Dad, technically Canada is in America.
Homer Since when? I thought Puerto Rico was supposed to be the next state.
Lisa Canada isn't a state. It's in America the same way that Mexico is in America.
Homer What?! Canada brought Mexico in with it? This is a geographic catastrophe of hemispheric proportions! I must report this to the local authorities.
Task: Make Homer Resent Canada (6s, Simpson House)
Task: Make Lisa Be Happy for Canada (6s, Simpson House)
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Second Fiddle Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Second Fiddle Pt. 1:
Homer Mr. Mayor, we have a problem. It's Canada.
Quimby Is she pregnant? It's not mine. My son and I have the same DNA, I swear.
Homer I believe you...but Canada is not a woman. It's the newest threat to our lives and livelihoods. And our newest state.
Quimby Our newest what—?
Homer Canada has opened the Northwest Passage and that's going to jeopardize our position as the number one country in the whole world.
Quimby I, er, highly doubt that. And even if it's true, would it be so bad to be number two in the whole world?
Homer Name one silver medalist, ever.
Quimby Sure. There was that one guy, uh, what was his name again...
Homer And don't forget about the foam finger industry!
Quimby Dear God, you're right! We can't be number two. Think of the bathroom jokes at our expense.
Homer *titters* I can't think of anything else now.
Quimby I'll call an emergency town meeting. Tell my secretary to make the necessary arrangements. And to sell all my stock in foam finger companies. Wait, what are you doing?
Tapped Out Patriotic Homer Icon.png What all American patriots do when their country is at risk nowadays; dress up like Uncle Sam and yell at strangers.
Task: Make Homer Protest Something About Canada (6s, Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice or Homes)
If the user has Quimby: Task: Make Quimby Call a Town Meeting (6s, Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice or Homes)
Quimby People of Springfield, we are at a crossroads. Canada's Northwest Passage threatens to make it more important than the U.S.A.
Quimby Will we stand back and let Canada have its day for a change or will we stand up and fight?
Herman I say we send those commies to an early grave!
Quimby To be clear, Canadians are not communists. They're more socially liberal than us on many issues but—
Herman Send those social liberals to an early grave!
Quimby Look, in my experience, most Canadians are nice people who don't really deserve to be randomly murdered. We just need a response to their opening of the Northwest Passage.
Moe What about that land to the East of Springfield Heights?
Quimby What about it?
Moe Well, I mean...did anyone notice the other day when it suddenly changed a whole bunch? I dunno, seems kinda important is all...
Professor Frink By my calculations the area surrounding our town has been transformed, with the growing and the expanding and the new landhoiven!
Lisa New land? That sounds like it'll free up lots of space for all the buildings and decorations in town.
Grampa Who cares about that?
Lisa Don't you read the forums?!
Grampa No!
Quimby The six-year-old girl is right again! We shall embark on a journey and create a new passage, the NorthEAST Passage!
Lisa Thank you... But I'm eight.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

A Fail of Two Cities[edit]

A Fail of Two Cities Pt. 1[edit]

After completing Second Fiddle Pt. 2:
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png I'm told that your town needs a guide through the lands to the North.
Homer Oh great, another Lisa costume.
Lisa At least it's not another Homer costume. I think we've lost count of how many of those there are.
Homer What can I say? The people want what the people want.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png I'll have you know I'm a completely separate character.
Homer The next thing I know, you'll have me reading a book and not eating something I love.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png Actually, pioneering doesn't leave me much time to read, unless it's a map.
Homer A Lisa who doesn't like books?! This changes everything. I will answer your noble call for volunteers to make this deadly trek.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png I wasn't asking for volunteers. It's too dangerous to bring outsiders. Also, my name is Connie, not Lisa. And don't eat buffalo.
Quimby I'm sorry, little girl, but a resident of Springfield needs to accompany you in order for the town to legally lay claim to the Northeast Passage.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png Fine, but I will not be held responsible for their deaths if they don't survive the journey.
Quimby Hmm. In that case, we better send three.
Task: Collect Wagon Wheels [x195]
If the user has Quimby: Task: Make Quimby Ask for Volunteers (4h, Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice or Homes)
Task: Make Homer Volunteer (4h, Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice or Homes)
If the user has Wiggum: Task: Make Wiggum Volunteer (4h, Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice or Homes)
If the user has Moe: Task: Make Moe Volunteer (4h, Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice or Homes)
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png Did everyone pack supplies like I asked?
Moe Yep. I got a month's worth of booze ready for travel.
Homer And I picked up two family packs from Krusty Burger, which should work out great because these burgers are already a month old!
Wiggum And I brought all the extra ammo we had in the armory. I hope nothing in Springfield needs shooting while we're gone.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png That's it?! What about medicine, water or clothing?
Moe I said I had a month's worth of booze.
Wiggum Look, we all played the computer game simulation of this as kids, and everyone knows that all you need for this trip are bullets. Everything else we'll just find glowing next to a bush.
Homer Nature always provides.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png Which way to the general store?
Homer The Kwik-E-Mart? There must be at least one around here. Sometimes there are dozens.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

A Fail of Two Cities Pt. 2[edit]

After completing A Fail of Two Cities Pt. 1:
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png Help me load up the wagon. That Kwik-E-Mart was well stocked. And the proprietor repeatedly thanked me and asked me to return.
Homer What is all this stuff?
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png This "stuff" is what's going to keep us alive.
Wiggum Cool, a dartboard! I didn't even think about entertainment, good call Connie.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png That's a spare wagon wheel, not a dartboard.
Moe And what's this, more booze? Then why was you giving me a hard time about bringing two barrels of Duff?
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png This is whiskey. It's the closest thing they had to medicine.
Homer Just what the doctor ordered.
Task: Collect Wagon Wheels [x155]
Task: Make Connie Appleseed Embark on the Journey (4h, Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice or Homes)
Task: Make Homer Drink Medicinal Whiskey (4h, Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice or Homes)
If the user has Wiggum: Task: Make Wiggum Play Darts With the Spare Axle (4h, Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice or Homes)
If the user has Moe: Task: Make Moe Serve Drinks (4h, Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice or Homes)
Homer So, Connie, tell me...is it true that there are donuts growing in them thar hills of the Northeast Passage?
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png What? No, that's absurd.
Homer But that was the whole reason I volunteered!
Moe I thought you volunteered to help keep U.S.A. number one?
Homer Well, yeah. And donuts, too.
Tapped Out Cookie Icon.png A hearty meal'll cure what ails ya.
Homer Ahh! Who the heck are you?
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png That's Cookie. He's our chuckwagon cook. I should have introduced you earlier, he mostly stays in the back of the wagon until dinner time.
Tapped Out Cookie Icon.png Pleased to meet ya. Now, this is gonna be a long and grueling trip, so who's up for some grub?
Homer Me, me! I'll take a ribeye, medium rare, a lobster tail, and a double portion of fries. And for dessert...how's your tiramisu?
Tapped Out Cookie Icon.png I gots biscuits and I gots beans.
Homer This is going to be a long and grueling trip.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

A Fail of Two Cities Pt. 3[edit]

After completing A Fail of Two Cities Pt. 2:
Tapped Out Cookie Icon.png The food, it's all gone!
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png What? That's impossible!
Moe Yeah, all I ate was the beans.
Wiggum *waves hand in front of face* We know.
Homer And all I ate was the flour.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png That was all the food we had! Those supplies were supposed to last us an entire month!
Wiggum No problem. *fires shot* I just bagged us a buffalo.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png But...we're miles from the nearest buffalo herd.
Wiggum What about the ones pulling our wagon?
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png Those are our oxen! And we need two to pull this wagon.
Wiggum Relax. The one that's left will pull twice as hard. Now that he's seen what happened to his buddy.
Task: Collect Wagon Wheels [x115]
Task: Make Connie Appleseed Make Do With One Ox (4h, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes)
Task: Make Homer Look for More Flour (4h, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes)
If the user has Wiggum: Task: Make Wiggum Show Off His Ox (4h, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes)
If the user has Moe: Task: Make Moe Be Impressed (4h, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes)
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png Let me get this straight. In just the first week of our journey you ate all our supplies AND you murdered one of our oxen?
Wiggum I prefer to say "bagged". It's much less police-y.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png Well, we have no choice but to turn back and restock at Pone, Pelts and Beyond.
Homer Oh no, I'm not going back. It's the Northeast Passage or bust.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png I'm telling you, we're in no shape to finish this journey in our current state. We should head back and restock.
Homer Relax, we still have loads of ammo, and if there's a problem guns can't fix, I haven't met it and shot it yet.
One week later...
Tapped Out Cookie Icon.png Come getcha breakfast, y'all. We're having ox sausage, huevos oxaleros, and fresh-squeezed Ox-J.
Moe Ugh, if I gotta eat ox one more time...
Tapped Out Cookie Icon.png Gimme a break, city dude. They didn't teach us a lot of ox recipes at Le Cordon Bleu, Paris.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png Besides, ox meat is healthier for you than beef from a factory farm cow.
Homer *spits* This is health food?! Yuck, I'd rather starve.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

A Fail of Two Cities Pt. 4[edit]

After completing A Fail of Two Cities Pt. 3:
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png Look, up ahead! A herd of buffalo! Now, please, just enjoy their majesty before you—
Homer *shoots rifle*
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png So much for majesty.
Homer They sure die with majesty. *shoots rifle* Bam, got another one!
Wiggum Nice shootin', Simpson. But get a load of this. *shoots rifle*
Homer You killed two with one bullet!
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png Why are you both still shooting them? You've killed—
Wiggum Bagged.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png —bagged more than we can eat in a year.
Wiggum Nobody said anything about eating them. They're just fun to shoot. *shoots rifle* Majestic!
Task: Collect Wagon Wheels [x115]
Task: Make Homer Shoot More Buffalo (4h, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes)
If the user has Wiggum: Task: Make Wiggum Shoot Even More Buffalo (4h, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes)
Task: Make Connie Appleseed Lament Bringing Volunteers (4h, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes)
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

A Fail of Two Cities Pt. 5[edit]

After completing A Fail of Two Cities Pt. 4:
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png There's the bridge to the Northeast Passage. We made it!
Moe Look across the canyon over there. Are those donuts growing up out of the ground?
Homer I knew it! There ARE donuts in them thar hills. In your FACE, Connie Applecore!
Wiggum We discovered a new frontier. Time to celebrate, everyone! Quick — grab a gun and shoot the closest buffalo!
Moe Hold on, Wiggy, I think you's gonna have to put a cork in your musket, 'cause it looks like the bridge is out.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png Moe's right. How are we going to get across?
Wiggum You leave that to me, little lady.
Wiggum *uses police radio* I'm gonna need the chopper over here at the bridge to the Northeast Passage. Also, a cup of coffee would be great, too. Make it a grande. Over.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png You can't get a signal out here. We're in the middle of nowhere.
Wiggum So, no coffee?
Homer But, but, the donuts! All-natural donuts! We can't just leave them there! We have to do something!
Moe It's not like we can just jump across. What are we supposed to do?
Homer I've got an idea. Guys, what's the one thing that's gotten us out of trouble at every turn on this trip?
Wiggum The copious amounts of ammo we brought?
Homer Close. The buffalo!
Homer It's time for nature to provide once more...
Task: Collect Wagon Wheels [x155]
Task: Make Connie Appleseed Survey the Area (4h, Frontier Camp, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes)
Task: Make Homer Toss Buffalo Carcasses Into the Canyon (4h, Frontier Camp, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes)
If the user has Wiggum: Task: Make Wiggum Think About Coffee (4h, Frontier Camp, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes)
If the user has Moe: Task: Make Moe Cheer Homer On (4h, Frontier Camp, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes)
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Buffalo Bridge[edit]

After completing A Fail of Two Cities Pt. 5:
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png What are you doing?!
Homer Isn't it obvious? I'm making a buffalo bridge. Though we're almost out of buffalo and the canyon isn't nearly full, so clearly nature has its limits.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png Stop! Killing! Buffalo!
Wiggum This one here was a long-horned sheep, to be fair.
Homer Yeah, see? We don't just kill indiscriminately.
Wiggum That's right, we kill with plenty of discrimination. No wait, that doesn't sound good either.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png I have an idea. How about we use conventional tools to, oh, I don't know, REPAIR the bridge?!
Homer Sounds like a lot of work.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png Fine. You three just sit here and don't do anything while I figure this out.
Homer *moaning* And no killing? Sheesh. The things I do for the sake of all-natural donuts.
Task: Make Homer Pout About Not Killing Buffalo (4h, Frontier Town, Frontier Camp, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes)
Task: Make Connie Appleseed Think of a Plan (4h, Frontier Town, Frontier Camp, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes)
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Brave New World[edit]

Brave New World Pt. 1[edit]

After completing Buffalo Bridge:
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png Alright, I think I can fix this bridge with some wood and nails.
Homer So...who are you?
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png I'm Connie Appleseed. Don't you remember? We took a grueling journey together to get here to the new frontier?
Homer Umm...
Moe Homer's delirious. He's been living off buffalo meat and T-shirt drippings for a month now. Wait, so have I. Who are you?
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png *sigh* Homer, on the other side of this broken bridge, there are donuts.
Homer Really? Then what are you waiting for?
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png Wood and nails.
Wiggum Where are we going to find wood and nails in the middle of nowhere? Also, who are you?
Moe Hey, look! Springfield Heights is just over there. I'm sure they's got a few shops for stuff like that.
Homer Springfield Heights? I haven't been there in years. I wonder if they serve buffalo?
Task: Make the Group Find Wood [x15] (4h, Trees or Simpson House)
Characters: Connie Appleseed, Cookie, Homer, Wiggum, Moe
Task: Make the Group Find Nails [x15] (4h, Trees or Simpson House)
Characters: Connie Appleseed, Cookie, Homer, Wiggum, Moe
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Brave New World Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Brave New World Pt. 1:
Moe Okay, here's ya wood and nails. Don't ask where we got it.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png All the wood is stamped with the "SHØP" logo. And half these "nails" are metric Allen wrenches. Did you steal this stuff?
Wiggum Hey, it's not stealing if you can't afford it.
Wiggum Oh wait, maybe it is. Good thing store security didn't see us. Those guys are mean.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png Well, at least we've got the materials needed to repair the bridge. Now, here's how you fix it...
Homer You want US to fix it? I thought you were gonna do that.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png No, I'm going to show you how to do it. You're about to enter a new frontier and you're going to need to learn some survival basics like this to make it out there.
Homer Who needs survival basics when you have guns? Remember all the buffalo we shot on the way here?
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png Maybe you should try shooting the bridge until it's fixed.
Homer Worth a try. *cocks rifle*
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png I was being sarcastic!
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png Just take this hammer and nail these boards together...
Homer First we don't get to shoot anything, and now we have to do manual labor? Worst. Frontier. Ever.
Task: Make the Group Fix the Bridge [x3] (4h, New Frontier Canyon or Simpson House)
Characters: Connie Appleseed, Cookie, Homer, Wiggum, Moe
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Brave New World Pt. 3[edit]

After completing Brave New World Pt. 2:
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png We did it! Welcome to the new frontier! Great job, everyone.
Wiggum And look, there are donuts growing out of the ground!
Homer Sweet, sweet all-natural donuts...
Moe Let's go get 'em before anyone else notices the bridge is fixed.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png Not so fast. It looks like we'll need to prospect those land tiles before we can reach them.
Homer Aww, more work? Game designers are monsters.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png We can use this prospector's shack to acquire the maps we'd need. Once we have enough, we can unlock another land tile.
Task: Make the Group Prospect the New Frontier (8h)
Characters: Connie Appleseed, Cookie, Homer, Moe
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Brave New World Pt. 4[edit]

After completing Brave New World Pt. 3:
Homer Wow, this new frontier is great. Donuts as far as the eye can see!
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png And look at all of the incredible natural discoveries to be made!
Wiggum And look at the new buffalo we can shoot!
Moe And look at all the new land for grazing my illegally imported pandas.
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png *grumble*
Moe I mean, look at all the new land for grazing buffalo we can shoot!
Tapped Out Connie Appleseed Icon.png *double grumble*
Moe Hey, I don't even know why I came on this trip. Lord knows what Barney did to my bar while I was gone.
Task: Make Homer Marvel at all the Donut Veins (4h, Prospector's Shack, New Frontier Canyon or Homes)
Quest reward: Cash200 and XP20