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The Simpsons: Tapped Out Northward Bound content update/Gameplay
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Second Fiddle[edit]
Second Fiddle Pt. 1[edit]
After the user logs in on November 17th:
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...with the melting of the polar ice caps and the opening of the Northwest Passage, Canada now has a new shipping lane which will allow its international trade to increase dramatically.
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See, Lisa, climate change isn't all bad. It's been good for Canada.
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Yes, Dad, the impending end of our existence on Earth does have a benefit for Canada. And it couldn't have happened to a nicer country.
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Pfft. They'll never be as great as America.
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But, Dad, technically Canada is in America.
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Since when? I thought Puerto Rico was supposed to be the next state.
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Canada isn't a state. It's in America the same way that Mexico is in America.
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What?! Canada brought Mexico in with it? This is a geographic catastrophe of hemispheric proportions! I must report this to the local authorities.
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Task: Make Homer Resent Canada (6s, Simpson House) Task: Make Lisa Be Happy for Canada (6s, Simpson House) Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Second Fiddle Pt. 2[edit]
After completing Second Fiddle Pt. 1:
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Mr. Mayor, we have a problem. It's Canada.
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Is she pregnant? It's not mine. My son and I have the same DNA, I swear.
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I believe you...but Canada is not a woman. It's the newest threat to our lives and livelihoods. And our newest state.
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Our newest what—?
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Canada has opened the Northwest Passage and that's going to jeopardize our position as the number one country in the whole world.
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I, er, highly doubt that. And even if it's true, would it be so bad to be number two in the whole world?
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Name one silver medalist, ever.
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Sure. There was that one guy, uh, what was his name again...
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And don't forget about the foam finger industry!
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Dear God, you're right! We can't be number two. Think of the bathroom jokes at our expense.
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*titters* I can't think of anything else now.
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I'll call an emergency town meeting. Tell my secretary to make the necessary arrangements. And to sell all my stock in foam finger companies. Wait, what are you doing?
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What all American patriots do when their country is at risk nowadays; dress up like Uncle Sam and yell at strangers.
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Task: Make Homer Protest Something About Canada (6s, Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice or Homes) If the user has Quimby: Task: Make Quimby Call a Town Meeting (6s, Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice or Homes)
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People of Springfield, we are at a crossroads. Canada's Northwest Passage threatens to make it more important than the U.S.A.
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Will we stand back and let Canada have its day for a change or will we stand up and fight?
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I say we send those commies to an early grave!
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To be clear, Canadians are not communists. They're more socially liberal than us on many issues but—
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Send those social liberals to an early grave!
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Look, in my experience, most Canadians are nice people who don't really deserve to be randomly murdered. We just need a response to their opening of the Northwest Passage.
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What about that land to the East of Springfield Heights?
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What about it?
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Well, I mean...did anyone notice the other day when it suddenly changed a whole bunch? I dunno, seems kinda important is all...
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By my calculations the area surrounding our town has been transformed, with the growing and the expanding and the new landhoiven!
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New land? That sounds like it'll free up lots of space for all the buildings and decorations in town.
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Who cares about that?
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Don't you read the forums?!
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No!
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The six-year-old girl is right again! We shall embark on a journey and create a new passage, the NorthEAST Passage!
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Thank you... But I'm eight.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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A Fail of Two Cities[edit]
A Fail of Two Cities Pt. 1[edit]
After completing Second Fiddle Pt. 2:
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I'm told that your town needs a guide through the lands to the North.
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Oh great, another Lisa costume.
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At least it's not another Homer costume. I think we've lost count of how many of those there are.
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What can I say? The people want what the people want.
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I'll have you know I'm a completely separate character.
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The next thing I know, you'll have me reading a book and not eating something I love.
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Actually, pioneering doesn't leave me much time to read, unless it's a map.
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A Lisa who doesn't like books?! This changes everything. I will answer your noble call for volunteers to make this deadly trek.
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I wasn't asking for volunteers. It's too dangerous to bring outsiders. Also, my name is Connie, not Lisa. And don't eat buffalo.
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I'm sorry, little girl, but a resident of Springfield needs to accompany you in order for the town to legally lay claim to the Northeast Passage.
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Fine, but I will not be held responsible for their deaths if they don't survive the journey.
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Hmm. In that case, we better send three.
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Task: Collect Wagon Wheels [x195] If the user has Quimby: Task: Make Quimby Ask for Volunteers (4h, Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice or Homes) Task: Make Homer Volunteer (4h, Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice or Homes) If the user has Wiggum: Task: Make Wiggum Volunteer (4h, Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice or Homes) If the user has Moe: Task: Make Moe Volunteer (4h, Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice or Homes)
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Did everyone pack supplies like I asked?
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Yep. I got a month's worth of booze ready for travel.
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And I picked up two family packs from Krusty Burger, which should work out great because these burgers are already a month old!
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And I brought all the extra ammo we had in the armory. I hope nothing in Springfield needs shooting while we're gone.
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That's it?! What about medicine, water or clothing?
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I said I had a month's worth of booze.
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Look, we all played the computer game simulation of this as kids, and everyone knows that all you need for this trip are bullets. Everything else we'll just find glowing next to a bush.
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Nature always provides.
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Which way to the general store?
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The Kwik-E-Mart? There must be at least one around here. Sometimes there are dozens.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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A Fail of Two Cities Pt. 2[edit]
After completing A Fail of Two Cities Pt. 1:
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Help me load up the wagon. That Kwik-E-Mart was well stocked. And the proprietor repeatedly thanked me and asked me to return.
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What is all this stuff?
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This "stuff" is what's going to keep us alive.
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Cool, a dartboard! I didn't even think about entertainment, good call Connie.
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That's a spare wagon wheel, not a dartboard.
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And what's this, more booze? Then why was you giving me a hard time about bringing two barrels of Duff?
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This is whiskey. It's the closest thing they had to medicine.
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Just what the doctor ordered.
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Task: Collect Wagon Wheels [x155] Task: Make Connie Appleseed Embark on the Journey (4h, Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice or Homes) Task: Make Homer Drink Medicinal Whiskey (4h, Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice or Homes) If the user has Wiggum: Task: Make Wiggum Play Darts With the Spare Axle (4h, Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice or Homes) If the user has Moe: Task: Make Moe Serve Drinks (4h, Town Hall, Court House, International Court of Justice or Homes)
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So, Connie, tell me...is it true that there are donuts growing in them thar hills of the Northeast Passage?
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What? No, that's absurd.
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But that was the whole reason I volunteered!
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I thought you volunteered to help keep U.S.A. number one?
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Well, yeah. And donuts, too.
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A hearty meal'll cure what ails ya.
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Ahh! Who the heck are you?
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That's Cookie. He's our chuckwagon cook. I should have introduced you earlier, he mostly stays in the back of the wagon until dinner time.
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Pleased to meet ya. Now, this is gonna be a long and grueling trip, so who's up for some grub?
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Me, me! I'll take a ribeye, medium rare, a lobster tail, and a double portion of fries. And for dessert...how's your tiramisu?
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I gots biscuits and I gots beans.
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This is going to be a long and grueling trip.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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A Fail of Two Cities Pt. 3[edit]
After completing A Fail of Two Cities Pt. 2:
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The food, it's all gone!
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What? That's impossible!
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Yeah, all I ate was the beans.
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*waves hand in front of face* We know.
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And all I ate was the flour.
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That was all the food we had! Those supplies were supposed to last us an entire month!
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No problem. *fires shot* I just bagged us a buffalo.
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But...we're miles from the nearest buffalo herd.
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What about the ones pulling our wagon?
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Those are our oxen! And we need two to pull this wagon.
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Relax. The one that's left will pull twice as hard. Now that he's seen what happened to his buddy.
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Task: Collect Wagon Wheels [x115] Task: Make Connie Appleseed Make Do With One Ox (4h, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes) Task: Make Homer Look for More Flour (4h, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes) If the user has Wiggum: Task: Make Wiggum Show Off His Ox (4h, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes) If the user has Moe: Task: Make Moe Be Impressed (4h, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes)
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Let me get this straight. In just the first week of our journey you ate all our supplies AND you murdered one of our oxen?
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I prefer to say "bagged". It's much less police-y.
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Well, we have no choice but to turn back and restock at Pone, Pelts and Beyond.
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Oh no, I'm not going back. It's the Northeast Passage or bust.
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I'm telling you, we're in no shape to finish this journey in our current state. We should head back and restock.
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Relax, we still have loads of ammo, and if there's a problem guns can't fix, I haven't met it and shot it yet.
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One week later...
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Come getcha breakfast, y'all. We're having ox sausage, huevos oxaleros, and fresh-squeezed Ox-J.
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Ugh, if I gotta eat ox one more time...
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Gimme a break, city dude. They didn't teach us a lot of ox recipes at Le Cordon Bleu, Paris.
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Besides, ox meat is healthier for you than beef from a factory farm cow.
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*spits* This is health food?! Yuck, I'd rather starve.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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A Fail of Two Cities Pt. 4[edit]
After completing A Fail of Two Cities Pt. 3:
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Look, up ahead! A herd of buffalo! Now, please, just enjoy their majesty before you—
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*shoots rifle*
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So much for majesty.
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They sure die with majesty. *shoots rifle* Bam, got another one!
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Nice shootin', Simpson. But get a load of this. *shoots rifle*
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You killed two with one bullet!
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Why are you both still shooting them? You've killed—
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Bagged.
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—bagged more than we can eat in a year.
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Nobody said anything about eating them. They're just fun to shoot. *shoots rifle* Majestic!
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Task: Collect Wagon Wheels [x115] Task: Make Homer Shoot More Buffalo (4h, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes) If the user has Wiggum: Task: Make Wiggum Shoot Even More Buffalo (4h, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes) Task: Make Connie Appleseed Lament Bringing Volunteers (4h, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes) Quest reward: 100 and 10
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A Fail of Two Cities Pt. 5[edit]
After completing A Fail of Two Cities Pt. 4:
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There's the bridge to the Northeast Passage. We made it!
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Look across the canyon over there. Are those donuts growing up out of the ground?
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I knew it! There ARE donuts in them thar hills. In your FACE, Connie Applecore!
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We discovered a new frontier. Time to celebrate, everyone! Quick — grab a gun and shoot the closest buffalo!
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Hold on, Wiggy, I think you's gonna have to put a cork in your musket, 'cause it looks like the bridge is out.
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Moe's right. How are we going to get across?
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You leave that to me, little lady.
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*uses police radio* I'm gonna need the chopper over here at the bridge to the Northeast Passage. Also, a cup of coffee would be great, too. Make it a grande. Over.
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You can't get a signal out here. We're in the middle of nowhere.
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So, no coffee?
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But, but, the donuts! All-natural donuts! We can't just leave them there! We have to do something!
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It's not like we can just jump across. What are we supposed to do?
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I've got an idea. Guys, what's the one thing that's gotten us out of trouble at every turn on this trip?
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The copious amounts of ammo we brought?
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Close. The buffalo!
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It's time for nature to provide once more...
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Task: Collect Wagon Wheels [x155] Task: Make Connie Appleseed Survey the Area (4h, Frontier Camp, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes) Task: Make Homer Toss Buffalo Carcasses Into the Canyon (4h, Frontier Camp, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes) If the user has Wiggum: Task: Make Wiggum Think About Coffee (4h, Frontier Camp, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes) If the user has Moe: Task: Make Moe Cheer Homer On (4h, Frontier Camp, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes) Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Buffalo Bridge[edit]
After completing A Fail of Two Cities Pt. 5:
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What are you doing?!
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Isn't it obvious? I'm making a buffalo bridge. Though we're almost out of buffalo and the canyon isn't nearly full, so clearly nature has its limits.
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Stop! Killing! Buffalo!
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This one here was a long-horned sheep, to be fair.
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Yeah, see? We don't just kill indiscriminately.
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That's right, we kill with plenty of discrimination. No wait, that doesn't sound good either.
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I have an idea. How about we use conventional tools to, oh, I don't know, REPAIR the bridge?!
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Sounds like a lot of work.
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Fine. You three just sit here and don't do anything while I figure this out.
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*moaning* And no killing? Sheesh. The things I do for the sake of all-natural donuts.
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Task: Make Homer Pout About Not Killing Buffalo (4h, Frontier Town, Frontier Camp, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes) Task: Make Connie Appleseed Think of a Plan (4h, Frontier Town, Frontier Camp, Frontier Wagon, Pone, Pelts and Beyond, Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, CostMo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's or Homes) Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Brave New World[edit]
Brave New World Pt. 1[edit]
After completing Buffalo Bridge:
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Alright, I think I can fix this bridge with some wood and nails.
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So...who are you?
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I'm Connie Appleseed. Don't you remember? We took a grueling journey together to get here to the new frontier?
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Umm...
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Homer's delirious. He's been living off buffalo meat and T-shirt drippings for a month now. Wait, so have I. Who are you?
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*sigh* Homer, on the other side of this broken bridge, there are donuts.
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Really? Then what are you waiting for?
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Wood and nails.
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Where are we going to find wood and nails in the middle of nowhere? Also, who are you?
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Hey, look! Springfield Heights is just over there. I'm sure they's got a few shops for stuff like that.
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Springfield Heights? I haven't been there in years. I wonder if they serve buffalo?
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Task: Make the Group Find Wood [x15] (4h, Trees or Simpson House) Characters: Connie Appleseed, Cookie, Homer, Wiggum, Moe Task: Make the Group Find Nails [x15] (4h, Trees or Simpson House) Characters: Connie Appleseed, Cookie, Homer, Wiggum, Moe Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Brave New World Pt. 2[edit]
After completing Brave New World Pt. 1:
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Okay, here's ya wood and nails. Don't ask where we got it.
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All the wood is stamped with the "SHØP" logo. And half these "nails" are metric Allen wrenches. Did you steal this stuff?
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Hey, it's not stealing if you can't afford it.
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Oh wait, maybe it is. Good thing store security didn't see us. Those guys are mean.
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Well, at least we've got the materials needed to repair the bridge. Now, here's how you fix it...
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You want US to fix it? I thought you were gonna do that.
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No, I'm going to show you how to do it. You're about to enter a new frontier and you're going to need to learn some survival basics like this to make it out there.
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Who needs survival basics when you have guns? Remember all the buffalo we shot on the way here?
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Maybe you should try shooting the bridge until it's fixed.
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Worth a try. *cocks rifle*
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I was being sarcastic!
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Just take this hammer and nail these boards together...
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First we don't get to shoot anything, and now we have to do manual labor? Worst. Frontier. Ever.
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Task: Make the Group Fix the Bridge [x3] (4h, New Frontier Canyon or Simpson House) Characters: Connie Appleseed, Cookie, Homer, Wiggum, Moe Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Brave New World Pt. 3[edit]
After completing Brave New World Pt. 2:
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We did it! Welcome to the new frontier! Great job, everyone.
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And look, there are donuts growing out of the ground!
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Sweet, sweet all-natural donuts...
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Let's go get 'em before anyone else notices the bridge is fixed.
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Not so fast. It looks like we'll need to prospect those land tiles before we can reach them.
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Aww, more work? Game designers are monsters.
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We can use this prospector's shack to acquire the maps we'd need. Once we have enough, we can unlock another land tile.
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Task: Make the Group Prospect the New Frontier (8h) Characters: Connie Appleseed, Cookie, Homer, Moe Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Brave New World Pt. 4[edit]
After completing Brave New World Pt. 3:
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Wow, this new frontier is great. Donuts as far as the eye can see!
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And look at all of the incredible natural discoveries to be made!
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And look at the new buffalo we can shoot!
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And look at all the new land for grazing my illegally imported pandas.
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*grumble*
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I mean, look at all the new land for grazing buffalo we can shoot!
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*double grumble*
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Hey, I don't even know why I came on this trip. Lord knows what Barney did to my bar while I was gone.
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Task: Make Homer Marvel at all the Donut Veins (4h, Prospector's Shack, New Frontier Canyon or Homes) Quest reward: 200 and 20
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