The Oprah Winfrey Show/Quotes
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- Oprah Winfrey: Okay, so I'm here in Springfield, USA, and I'm looking for 742 Evergreen Terrace. The home of the Simpsons.
- Homer: [screams] I thought it was tomorrow!
- Homer: Hehehehe. You'll edit that underwear thing out, won't you, Opera?
- Oprah: It's Oprah. And I think we'll leave it in.
- Homer: Please, Oprah.
- Oprah: No.
- Marge: Oprah, I really enjoy your show. Especially the program about couples who... urm... [whispers to Oprah]
- Oprah: Did you try it?
- Marge: Well, I wanted to, but Homer said it was against nature.
- Oprah: Lisa, what's it like being the middle child in this family?
- Lisa: To give you an honest answer would reveal the deep cracks in our quote unquote happy family.
- Bart: Oprah, may I address your TV audience?
- Oprah: Of course.
- Bart: In this difficult age we live in, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap.
- Homer: Why you little-
- Oprah: Marge, I'm sure women everywhere want to know how you get your hair to look that way.
- Marge: Oh. Just a little hairspray, mousse, copper wire, Armor All, and the stuff that's only sold in boating supply stores.
- [Bart, Lisa, and Homer all burp]
- Marge: All right, who's belching in here?
- Homer, Bart, and Lisa: Oprah.
- Oprah: Hey!
- Lisa: Oprah, can I have your autograph?
- Oprah: Sure, Lisa. Wait a minute, what is this?
- Lisa: Oh, you're adopting me. It's all nice and legal, I assure you.
