The Monty Burns Late Night Show/Quotes
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- Waylon Smithers: ...And as you can see, your popularity took a further nosedive after that documentary about your safari was broadcast...
- Mr. Burns: Curse the laws that take away a man's right to hunt at the zoo.
- Smithers: Impossible as it may seem, sir, our analysts predict that you're only a month or two away from a public lynching.
- Mr. Burns: Bribery and intimidation tactics no longer do the trick, eh? Well, what shall I do to get Johnny Hard Hat back in my corner?
- Smithers: It’s The Monty Burns Show! Tonight, Monty’s guests are... Krusty the Clown! Central American military strongman Juan Emundo! And a visit from the crazy old man! ...And I’m Waylon Smithers! And now, because he’s fallen and he can’t get up, Montyyyyyyyyyy Burns!
- Mr. Burns: Yes. Thank you. That 'Madonna' certainly acts like a harlot, does she not?...Bah. I loathe topical humour. Smithers! Fire the writing staff!
- Mr. Burns: Your new moving picture sounds quite ripping, Mr. Clown. I see you've brought a clip. Does this need a set-up?
- Krusty: Nah, it's just your basic teen nudie clown flick.
- Mr. Burns: Excellent.
- Smithers: I'm afraid we have to cancel your big duet, sir. Our ratings indicate that literally no one is watching.
- Mr. Burns: Drat. Mr. Doggy Dog is going to be so disappointed!
