The Monty Burns Late Night Show/Quotes
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- Mr. Burns: Hey-o!
- Waylon Smithers: ...and as you can see, your popularity took a furtner nosedive after that documentary about your safari was broadcast.
- Mr. Burns: Curse the laws that take away a man's right to hung at the zoo.
- Waylon Smithers: Impossible as it may seem, sir, our analysts predict that you're only a month or two away from a public lynching.
- Mr. Burns: Bribery and intimidation tactics no longer do the trick, eh? Well, what shall I do to gey Johnny hard Hat back in my corner`
- Waylon Smithers: I"It's the Monty Burns Show Tonight, Monty's guest are... Krusty the Clown! Central American mutary strongman Juan Emundo and a visit from the crazy old man" ...and I'm Waylon Smithers! And now because he's fallen and he can't get up Montyyyyyyyy Burns!
- Mr. Burns: Yes thank you. That 'Madonna' certainly acts like a harlot, does she not? ... bah, I loathe topical humor Smithers! Fire the written staff! Your new moving picture sounds quite ripping, Mr. Clown I see you've brought a clip does this need a set-up!
- Waylon Smithers: Nah, it's just your basic teen nudie clown flick.
- Mr. Burns: Excellent.
- Waylon Smithers: I'm afraid we have to cancel your big duet, sir our ratings indicate that literally no one is watching.
- Mr. Burns: Drat, Mr. Doogy Dog is going to be so disappointed!