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Springfield Elementary (Simpsons Comics 242)/Quotes

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Superintendent Chalmers: Skiinner! It's happened again!
Principal Skinner: You're dating mother?
Gary Chalmers: Yes, but that's not what I'm here about! Your school supply closet has been robbed! There's no more pencils, no more books!
Principal Skinner: And the teacher's dirty looks?
Gary Chalmers: They're still here!
Mr. Largo: And they always will be!

Principal Skinner: Detective and sidekick, your school needs you again!
Bartholomew Holmes: Let me duduce what's missing your dignity? The best years of your life?
Principal Skinner: Correct as always! But also.
Lisa Watson: The school supplies have been stolen. Normally, you'd have written our assignment in a three-ring binder, but I see you're empty-handed.
Principal Skinner: You're right Bartholomew. The school supplies are gone.
Lisa Watson: He's right? But I--

Bartholomew Holmes: Just as I deduced! All the school supplies were used to make an ar project!
Principal Skinner: [GASP] This kind of thing isn't in our art curriculum! That's it! I'm cutting art class!
Lisa Watson: What? That's not fair! We don't even know who did it.

Lisa Watson: Willie couldn't have signed his name to the crimn. Willie can't read or write.
Principal Skinner: That's true! He signs his paychecks by spitting on them! But if he didn't do it, then who did?
Lisa Watson: Was it you, Bart?
Bartholomew Holmes: Yes.

Principal Skinner: Good work, Lisa!
Lisa Watson: Does this mean I move up from sidekick to actual school detective?
Principal Skinner: No, but your do get to hire the new one.