Springfield's Letters to Santa/Quotes
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- Santa Claus: Here's a letter from his sister... lovely child.
- Lisa: "Dear Santa, as you may have heard, I recently became a buddhist, and while I thank you for eight years of Maliby Stacy dolls and lester young CDs, I now prize, gifts of spirtual enlightment."
- Santa Claus: Bless you, honey. Thanks for making my sleigh a little lighter.
- Lisa: "Of course if you just happen to have already gotten me a pony, I'll take it."
- Santa Claus: Hmmm. Well, as concidence would ahve it, I didn't. Let's hear from the next child.
- Santa Claus: Just once I'd like to get a letter from anyone in that town who thinks about their fallow man.
- Marlon: Gotcha covered, big guy. The one's from Ned Flanders.
- Homer: [as Ned] "Dear Santa, at this bless-i-diddly time of the year, it is better to give than to receive."
- Santa Claus: Ah, good old Ned. At least he hasn't forgotten the true meaning of Christmas.
- Homer: [as Ned] "So I think you should give every-diddly-thing you would give-i-diddly to me to my best-i-diddly friend, Homer Simpson. Diddly:" "Love, Stupid Flanders"?!
- Santa Claus: This is from Homer Simpson! That does it! I'm going to go through each and every letter, and If they are all as greedy and as self-serving as the others, I'm going to cross Springfield off my router forever!
- Marlon: [GASP!]
- Apu: "Although I have never written to you before, I understand you are very generous." "Therefore, please deliver to me eight tricycles, eight teddy bears, eight jollly jumpers, eight car seats..."
- Santa Claus: Enough! I've made my decision! From this moment on, the town of Springfield is...
- Marlon: There's still one more lefter left, S.C...
- Grampa: "Dear Santa, I doubt you still remember me or that strange Christmas you, me, and Monty Burns shared back in '44."
- Santa Claus: I remember. I still have that lump from when Burns whatcked me with a coconut.
- Grampa: "It's funny, but I can't ever remember enjoying a Christmas more than that time I helped you get ready for you bif flight."
- Santa Claus: Ho, ho. It was unique, I'll give him that.
- Grampa: "I'm an old man now Santa, and I'm afraid I don't have many Christmases left." "If I could have one last Christmas wish, it would be to assist you again in your mission to bring happiness to the world. Dagnabbit, forget the world, I'd settle for my own little town of Springfield."
- Santa Claus: Your letter touched my heart, old friend!
- Grampa: It did?
- Santa Claus: Ho, ho! of course! I was going to cut your town off my route, but your letter convinced me there is still Christmas spririt here in Springfield. I'm going to grant your wish and let you play santa to all the children of Springfield with this sack of toys!
- Grampa: Well what do you know about that?
- Santa Claus: Merry Christmas, Santa Simpson! Ho, ho, ho!
- Grampa: G'night...