Sandwiches Are Forever
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The contents of this article are based on an issue of Simpsons Comics or another comic series and is considered to be non-canon and may not have actually happened/existed.
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Sandwiches Are Forever
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Comic Story information
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Sandwiches Are Forever is a Simpsons Comics story first printed in Simpsons Comics #117.
Plot[edit]
Hank Scorpio is sitting in a Turkish prison in Istanbul when he gets a new cellmate, Homer Simpson. Hank says that he is in prison for selling death rays to a rebel army. Hank asks if Homer wants his sandwich, but he tells him that he hates them now because a couple of weeks ago when he was in Lisa's room, he discovered that there is a country named Turkey, so he emptied out the family savings and took the family there in search of the ultimate turkey sandwich, and last weekend he found it. He says he is in prison because they take their food very seriously.
The prison guards come in and start destroying the food that Homer tried to take out of the country, and begin to eat up Homer's sandwich, but it makes them feel sick and they collapse. Hank and Homer escape and encounter the rest of the Simpson family. Hank explains that they are in a hurry. Lisa asks Hank if he blackmailed the federal government into giving him control of the American east coast and everyone thinks he is dead now, which he admits. Hank and the Simpson family jump out of a window and hijack a vehicle belonging to one of his employees. In the car, Lisa discovers a phone, and she calls Interpol and tells them where Hank is. Bart asks why she did it, to which she replies that it is her responsibility. The police start to chase the car, but the employee has installed a jetpack in the car so they start to fly away from the police. Hank contacts his office for the first time in three years, and he tells the Simpsons that his empire speed has been repossessed by the bank. He says that he still has his dream: he wants to rule most of Europe. He asks Homer if he wants to help him, to which Homer replies that he does. Hank says that all he needs is a Saturn rocket or a space shuttle. Bart suggests that they visit a Soviet army base, so they do.
Hank prepares an attack on the base, but Lisa tells him that the Russians are our allies now. She shouts to the Russian base that there are Americans here, and they are apprehended quickly. But as Hank speaks Russian, they manage to rob a space shuttle and the Simpsons ride with Hank into space. The ship docks with the Fox satellite where Hank has his Death Ray 3000. Hank begins to contact the Swiss when he smells the sandwich that Homer has hidden. When Hank gets close to him, he throws it away, causing the control board to short-circuit. Hank is sad that Homer has ruined a five-million-dollar control, but Hank's employees on board the satellite say they can fix it. Hank offers Homer another chance. Lisa walks around the satellite and discovers a pair of smelly old boots, and sees a chance for redemption. Hank contacts President Schmid and orders him to tell him what he is doing, unless they give him all the Swiss banks. Lisa places the boots on the gears of the Death Ray machine so that the wheels get stuck when Hank activates it. After five minutes, Hank fire the death ray, but nothing happens, except that the cheese in Homer's sandwich melts. Hank gives up, because he can't take over Europe with a death ray that only destroys cheese.
Shortly afterwards, Hank becomes the new president of France because they cannot live without cheese. Hank thanks Homer with a French sandwich and elects one of his employees mayor of Paris. Bart gets a mini-death ray and Lisa gets a globe. Homer then discovers that there is a country called Chile.
Reprints[edit]
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