Pete Za Party/Quotes

Quotes

Carl Carlson: Hiya, Burnsie!

Lenny Leonard: Hey there, boss!

Mr. Burns: Confound it! I'm not your employeer, Mr. Burns! I am... Smithers, what was my alias again?

Waylon Smithers: "Willy Hearst," sir. After your hero.

Kent Brockman: Mr. Burns, usually on my show "undercover employer," the boss wears more of a disguise to be able to fool his employees into telling the truth about their workplace.

Mr. Burns: If you think you'll catch me in one your globetrotting wigs or coke bottle bi-spectacles, you've got another thing coming!

Waylon Smithers: I can wear the wig if that helps, sir.

Kent Brockman: Excuse me, can you tell this man, who is defintely not your boss, what the working conditions are like here at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant?

Homer: Is this going to be on TV?

Kent Brockman: Most definitely.

Homer: This place is a dump! We work eight, sometimes nine hours a day! There are no couches for naps, and the bathrooms are infested with muated rats who steal all the best magazines! There's not a single massage station! And we only have one measly truckload of dounts delivered every day! And don't even get me started on our $20 "holiday bonus" this year. That's no bonus! Mr. Burns should be more generous duriing the holidays and treat his workers better!

Homer: [RRGH!] What gives?

Waylon Smithers: New company policy... bathroom priviles now cost a fee.

Homer: [ULP!] Twenty bucks?! At this rate, Lisa's college fund will be gone by new year's! Look, Smithers... how about you let me slip in there wihout paying, if you know what I mean. I'll make it worth your while.

Waylon Smithers: Okay... but your bribe is equal to the entrance cost, so your really just paid the fee.

Homer: D'oh!

Mr. Burns: Smithers, whay aren't these men working?

Waylon Smithers: I belive they're holding a strike of sorts.

Mr. Burns: Streiking, eh?! Fire them all!

Waylon Smithers: Sir, don't you think it whould be unwise to fire the entire plant staff? The re-hiring and pension plans alone whould cost hundreds of thousands.

Mr. Burns: Smithers, exactly how much will a stunt like this set me back?

Waylon Smithers: $54.29, plus tip.

Mr. Burns: I see... a small price to pay for getting the plant back in tip-top shape. Now raise the price of electricity for all plant employees by a nickel per watt. It's going to be a cold winter! And no tip!