Panda-Monium!
Panda-Monium! was an exhibit held at the Springfield Zoo in honor of the arrival of the zoo's new female panda, Sim-Sim, provided by "an anonymous donor".
Background[edit]
The Panda-Monium! exhibit was actually an elaborate practical joke played by Mr. Burns, who cast himself as the anonymous donor and Homer Simpson (wearing a panda suit) as Sim-Sim. Burns's goal was to see the looks on the townspeople's faces when they found out their panda was "nothing but a fat guy in a suit". Events didn't unfold that way, but Burns still enjoyed the prank.
Description[edit]
The exhibit consisted of a circular habitat for the pandas, which had two caves and a viewing area and was surrounded by a moat and a fence. At the front there was a steel framework with a sign reading "Panda-Monium!". The framework also had a curtain which could be lowered to conceal the viewing area from the crowd. People attending the exhibit gathered outside the fence and in front of the viewing area, where vendors were selling panda-shaped balloons and panda cones.
History[edit]
The zookeeper asked the audience to welcome the new panda, Sim-Sim, and they applauded. Homer as Sim-Sim emerged from his cave, and then, coached by Burns, started dancing the Lindy Hop. Homer's dancing was so energetic that the zookeeper called for trainers to "calm her down" with electrical prods. As the trainers repeatedly zapped Homer with their prods, the zookeeper assured the audience that "Because of their thick, thick hides, pandas only feel the slightest tickle from these powerful electric shocks." Homer, however, lacking a panda's thick hide, felt the full jolt of the shocks and screamed in pain, but his screams went unheard as they were muffled by the panda suit. At one point, Homer made a "no more" gesture to one of the trainers, but she said, "Oh, she's saying 'I love you'", which drew more cheers from the audience. The shocks continued to the point where smoke was billowing out from the eyeholes of Homer's panda suit and Homer collapsed from the pain. Lisa, watching from the audience, became concerned and said, "Something's wrong. Terribly wrong!"
At that point, the zoo's bull panda, Ping-Ping, emerged from his cave, sniffed the air and moved in the direction of Sim-Sim to check out the new arrival. The zookeeper said, "With any luck, these two will become very, very close, if you know what I mean." As Ping-Ping advanced on him, Homer called for help from Mr. Burns, but Burns just kept laughing as he watched from behind the scenes. Homer then tried to run away from Ping-Ping, but he tripped and ended up sprawled over a rock with his behind in the air, which to a panda signifies readiness to mate. The zookeeper noticed Homer's position and said, "Oh, look, she's presenting! We thought this would take years to happen!" Ping-Ping took Homer up on the inadvertent offer, grabbed Homer by the costume's hind legs, and started dragging him to his cave, to screams from Homer and loud cheers and whistles from the audience. The zookeeper pressed a button on the remote he was holding, and the framework's curtain (with a graphic reading "SHHH! Pandas Need Their Sleep!") came down, covering the viewing area as Homer kept screaming and the sounds of a struggle continued. The zookeeper said, "Ping-Ping just asked Sim-Sim to marry him, and I think she just said yes", which drew still more applause from the audience. Homer made one last try to get away and actually got halfway out from behind the curtain. However, Ping-Ping quickly pulled him back inside, in spite of Homer's digging his costume's claws into the ground in a futile attempt to stay out of Ping-Ping's clutches. Moe, in the audience watching the spectacle, said, "Ha! You ain't goin' nowhere, cutie."
Aftermath[edit]
Later, Ping-Ping fell asleep and Homer was finally able to get away. He got caught in the panda habitat's barbed-wire fence, ended up dangling upside down, lost the head of his costume and was sprayed by a group of skunks. At that point, Lisa found him and apparently called for help, as shortly after that the two of them were at a bench talking when Mr. Burns came by, still laughing, and said, "That other panda gave some unexpected zazz to the festivities, eh?" Homer indignantly replied, "Maybe for you! Why didn't you rescue me?" and Burns answered, "Too busy trying to keep my sides from splitting!" as he laughed some more.
Behind the Laughter[edit]
- The exhibit's name is a pun on the word "pandemonium".
- The zookeeper's comment, "We thought this would take years to happen!" reflects the real-life difficulties zoos have encountered with getting pandas to breed in captivity.
