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Mr. and Mrs. Erotic American

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Mr. and Mrs. Erotic American
Book Information
Author: Paul Harvey
Genre: Self-Help
First appearance: "Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy"

Mr. and Mrs. Erotic American is a book on tape by Paul Harvey.


When Marge and Homer realized that their love life was fading, they went to Books! Books! And Additional Books! to buy a book that would help them improve things. Marge looked in the "Books on Tape" section and found Mr. and Mrs. Erotic American. She told Homer, "This one's a good choice, and not too smutty. It's a book on tape by Paul Harvey, you know, that nice Midwestern man on the radio who's like a pleasant version of Grampa?" Homer's interest was piqued as soon as he saw the title, so they bought the book.

When Homer and Marge got the book home, they started listening to it. Harvey opened by saying, "Hello, Americans, Paul Harvey here. Did you know every good American is at heart an erotic American?" and went on to share ideas for spicing up a marriage. Homer and Marge tried out the romance ideas, but none of them worked out. "Double your pleasure with a bath ... together!" (attributed to Dwight and Mamie Eisenhower) was a washout when they got wedged together in the tub, broke the faucet, and had to call the kids to help get them out. Homer and Marge next went to the Aphrodite Inn, following the advice "a romantic vacation can provide titillation", but when the only room available was the utility room, the idea fizzled in spite of Homer's best efforts to create a romantic fantasy out of the situation.

The next day, driving home, they heard the end of the tape: "By now your new, improved love life should have you flinging woo like nobody's business. So to you, Mr. and Mrs. Erotic American, I bid ... Good day." By now, they were both disgusted with the tape, so Marge threw it out the car window, and Homer drove back and forth over it several times, smashing it to bits.

Behind the Laughter[edit]

  • Paul Harvey (1918–2009) was an American radio broadcaster, best known for his The Rest of the Story segments.
  • Two of Harvey's broadcasting trademarks were beginning by saying, "Hello, Americans" and introducing himself; and finishing by saying "Good day".
  • Paul Harvey's voice reading the book on tape was provided by Harry Shearer.