Karmageddon/Quotes

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Quotes



Homer: Flanders? What are you doing up there?
Ned Flanders: It's the rapture, Homer! The rapture you can only feel riding in a hot air balloon!
Homer: How did you afford this? I tried to use your credit card last week and it was maxed out.

Man: You blew up that evil monk with a grenade! What a mess!
Rainier Wolfcastle: Yes, now he's one with everything!

Marge: Homer, all we have in the bank is Lisa's college fund money, and that's off limits both to you and to her!
Homer: How about that jar of cash on top of the fridge?
Marge: That's Bart's bail money, also off limits!
Homer: But stupid Flanders gets a hot air balloon!
Marge: I'm not married to stupid Flanders! I mean Ned.
Homer: [DOB!] It's not fair!

Krusty: Wanna buy a chafing dish? Only five bucks! I got some gambling debts that need paying, real quick!
Homer: I was looking for a hot air balloon.
Krusty: Okay, twenty bucks. But you gotta take the chafing dish, too. I don't know what it's for, and I don't wanna know!

Homer: I sure am a long way up. Maybe this is one of those times I should listen to what that little voice in my head says.
Bart: You're a fathead!
Homer: Shut up, voice! Bart! What are you doing here?
Bart: I was hiding so mom wouldn't make me take a bath! Why are we in the sky?
Homer: You don't know how to fly a balloon... do you, boy?
Bart: No.
Homer: Then daddy has to say "D'oh!" now. D'oh!

Lisa: Does anyone have any spare tickets?
Hippie: Aw, little lady, there's really no "spare" anything in the world. No one can really own anything. It's all free if you open your mind!
Lisa: Then can I have your ticket for free?
Hippie: No way! I bought this online months ago. Get a job, hippie!

Security guard: Hey, where do you think you're going?
Lisa: I'm with the band!
Security guard: What instrument do you play?
Lisa: Baritone sax!
Security guard: You play baritone sax?
Lisa: Yes.
Security guard: In an all-sitar band?
Lisa: I'm going to walk away now.
Security guard: Good choice.

Squeaky-Voiced Teen: What are you doing here? No one's supposed to know our all-beef Krusty Burgers are actually vegetarian!
Lisa: They are? That's wonderful news! Now I can enjoy a Krustyburger and fries with the rest of my family, guilt-free!
Squeaky-Voiced Teen: Not exactly. The French fries are made of giraffe horns.

Homer: Who are you guys? Did we travel back in time?
Fritz: Nein! We are just a World War One aerial recreation society!
Pilot: We're acting out the Battle of the Somme!
Homer: Well, that's "Somme" lame hobby you've got there!
Fritz: He insulted us!
Pilot: The Somme can wait. Let's get him!
Homer: AAAAAAH!

Homer: The hole is plugged for now, but it's not going to hold for long. I'm sorry for making you go to school. Looks like all that learning was pointless now.
Bart: Don't worry. I never really paid attention.