If These Crumbs Could Talk/Quotes

Quotes

Narrator: 2:15 AM Friday. After dreaming about being asleep for two days, Homer awakens exhausted and hungry. Eats last piece of Lisa's birthday cake.

Narrator: 7:30 AM Friday. After consuming a bowl of Krusty Flakes, microwave sausage clumps and a short stack of Belgian Congo waffles, napkins are nowhere to be found. Wipes Mrs. Marple's Maple Mystery Syrup on trouser leg.

Narrator: 8:10 AM Friday. Late for work, ignores speed limit sign and hits speed bumps with full force spilling coffee and denting oil pan.

Narrator: 12:31 PM Friday. Mild salsa from first bite into self-made condiment sandwich.

Narrator: 12:31 PM Friday. Relish from first bite into self-made condiment sandwich.

Narrator: 12:31 PM Friday. Mustard from first bite into self-made condiment sandwich.

Narrator: 1:50 PM Friday. Starts eating a box of Mother Salty's Poultry-Flavoured Assorted Snack Crackers. Now in new quail, Cornish hen, gosling, and hawk. (Bald eagle no longer available in the U.S.)

Narrator: 10:15 PM Friday. Finishes box.

Narrator: 2:37 PM Friday. Chewing gum placed here to make room for pepperoni and cheese Danish unwanted by co-worker. Gum forgotten.

Narrator: 5:07 PM Friday. Reaching for honey-roasted cashews at Moe's, accidentally dredged elbow through Barney's barbecued spare-ribs. Neither party noticed.

Narrator: 6:45 PM Friday. Remnants of mashed potatoes flung across table by Bart prior to being sent to room.

Narrator: 6:57 PM Friday. Portion of ham pot pie unable to fit inside mouth upon first and only bite.

Narrator: 8:22 PM Friday. Expiration date on can closing in.

Narrator: 9:05 AM Friday. Upon appearance in hallway of Mr. Smithers for surprise quality review check, jelly donut is shoved into shirt pocket.

Narrator: 9:34 PM Friday. Commercial break too long during FOX's "Theology Throwdown III—Ideological Wrestling Match: Monkey vs. Miracles." Tedium turns to hunger in the form of Bulky Boy's Chunks for Single Hunks. It's the soup you can eat with your hands!

Narrator: 12:12 AM Saturday. Mistakes Mr. Teeny Cream Banana-Flavoured Snack Cake for a Mrs. Sweeny's Scrod Cake, which he smothers in Captain McCallister's tart 'n tasty tartar sauce.

Narrator: 12:14 AM Saturday. Washes down the snack cake and tartar sauce with a breathless swallow of Duff Beer. Washes down that beer with another beer. Falls asleep to snack another day.