Crazy Gil's Television Emporium/Quotes
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- Gil Gunderson: Hey, folks. I'm crazy Gil, and I'm giving away a free TV to whoever can watch 72 straight hours of television. Just be one of the first three people to walk through the door in the next hour and you'll be competing for TV nirvana! Come on, folks, Gil needs to sell some TV's Gil's going bankrupt here! He's living out of his car.
- Sign: 15 hours.
- Ned Flanders: I've never seen such televised indecency! All that uncovered male flesh—those rippling back muscles and firm calves.
- Groundskeeper Willie: Whatsa matter with the that hairy coo?
- Homer: Eh, some soap commercial.
- Sign: 43 hours.
- Sounds: Kaching! Kaching!
- Sign: 67 hours.
- Homer: Only five more hours, gritskegger Waldo, and I get the TV of my choice.
- Willie: Over my rotting haggis, ya not-so-wee fatty.
- Homer: Oh really?
- Sign: 71 hours
- TV announcer: And now the 24-7 Woman Network presents My mother's filthy secret starring Meredith Baxter-Birney and Mindy Cohn.
- Willie: No any-thing but this! For the love of life-time, let me free!
- Sign: 71 hours, 59 minutes
- Homer: Sniff! Now that TV's going be all mi---hey, what's that smell?
- Gil: Just thought you could use a bit to eat, Mr. Simpson?
- Homer: Must have barbecue
- Sounds: Keeerash!!!
- Gil: Sweet chapter 9! Not another burnt-down business!
- Homer: So when do I get my TV?