Burnsie's Belly Laughs!/Quotes

Quotes

[The scene: Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.]

Mr. Burns: I've decided to promote some of my lower-level employees.

Waylon Smithers: Very good, sir.

Mr. Burns: Meet Manny Tar. He'll be our new head of production.

Manny Tar: Nice to meet you!

[Burns leaves. Smithers, perturbed, takes in the sight of Manny, who has a bull's head and thus resembles a Minotaur from Greek mythology.]

Smithers: You're a lower-level employee?

Manny: Well ... technically, the dungeon catacombs are the lowest level.

Smithers: I assume you're originally from Greece.

Manny: Nope. I grew up in Springfield. I used to be a regular Joe! I started working at the plant right out of high school. Turns out all the radiation I was exposed to had [makes finger quotes] "adverse effects".

Smithers: So your name is Manny Tar and you just happened to mutate into a minotaur? That's quite a coincidence.

Manny: I know, right?!

[later, Homer meets up with Manny when they're both on a donut break.]

Homer: Hey, Manny! I heard the radiation from this place turned you into a horrible monster. No offense.

Manny: None taken! It's true! The shielding at my workstation was completely substandard. Thank goodness I got out when I did!

Homer: [chuckles] Tough break! So where did you used to work?

Manny: I was the safety inspector for Sector 7-G! [This revelation leaves Homer absolutely shocked.]

[At the Simpson home, the telephone rings.]

Marge: [answering phone] Hello?

Homer: [on phone] Hi, honey. I'm going to come home early today. I'm feeling horny.

Marge: Homer J. Simpson, you are terrible! But I suppose we could sneak in a little "snuggle time" before the kids get home. [giggles]

[The scene shifts back to the nuclear plant where Homer is talking on the phone. He now has a pair of horns growing out of his head.]

Homer: That's not what I meant.

[Mr. Burns abruptly interrupts, breaking the fourth wall.]

Mr. Burns: Enough! Stop your vacillating scrutiny and buy this comical booklet posthaste!