Bring Me the Head of El Barto/Quotes
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- Announcer: The following broadcast was paid for by the committee to re-elect Diamond Joe Quimby.
- Mayor Quimby: They're like sheep. Once I pour on the charisma, they'll hand me their votes on a silver tray—huh? We're on? Ahem! My fellow Springfieldians. As we approach re-election day, I come before you not with another empty campaign promise, but with a proposition. By election eve, I will rid this fair town of the plague we call "El Barto" once and for all. All I ask for in return is yet another four years to finish the job I started twenty-four years ago.
- Barney Gumble: Wow, if he can catch El Burrito, he's got my vote.
- Moe Szyslak: I'm surprised you've got enough brain cells left to remember to vote.
- Barney: Huh? Vote for what?
- Chief Wiggum: I want a city-wide dragnet, double shifts, stakeouts, the works. And coffee breaks will be limited to 90 minutes.
- Lou and Eddie: Awwww!
- Undercover cop 1: With this bronze paint and these costumes, we'll look just like statues.
- Undercover cop 2: There's no way he can resist.
- Bart: If you squint your eyes and ignore the blinking and breathing, they do sort of look like statues.
- Lisa: I wonder if they left parts of their bodies unpainted to allow their pores to breathe?
- Lisa: You're not going out on another El Barto sortie, are you?
- Bart: Maybe.
- Lisa: I wish you wouldn't. You may think that defacing public property is a victimless crime, but your scrawlings offend the pride and dignity of every citizen in Springfield.
- Bart: I'll take your comments under advisement and have my people call your people. Thanks for the moolah!
- Bart: I said it before, and I'll say it again. I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything.
