| Bart's People
| TV Show Information
Bart's People was a segment of Kidz Newz where Bart Simpson would present the audience with an intentionally sad story about various people in Springfield.
The segment was based on a similar segment by award winning newscaster Kent Brockman. Bart had gone to Kent's house to find out how to be a better reporter, and Kent told Bat that the key was to report sad stories. Bart then started his own segment, Bart's People, and it quickly became the most popular part of Kidz Newz. Lisa became increasingly annoyed with the fact that Bart's sappy stories were becoming the most popular part of the news program, and that nobody was paying attention to her. At first she tried to copy Bart, and report on some sad stories of her own. When this failed she decided to trick Bart, and have him unknowingly do a story about Willie, who was living in a junk yard and was angry at Bart for destroying his shack. Bart was shocked to find Willie, who then attempted to kill Bart. Luckily Lisa, who was feeling guilty and worried, arrived just in time to stop Willie by telling him that Bart is his son. She then went on to explain that "in a way" Bart is everyone's son, and that his behavior is simply the product of everything and everyone around him.
Afterwards, Bart and Lisa decided to team up and use their talents to make Kidz Newz the best it can be. Before they can do anything, however, their show is canceled and replaced by the Mattel and Mars Bar Quick Energy Chocobot Hour.
- A story about old war veterans and how they have been largely forgotten.
- A story about a man, Joe Banks, who feeds ducks, but no longer has any ducks to feed because they all disappeared.
- A story about a man who lives in a junk yard. The man turns out to be Willie, and Bart was actually tricked by Lisa.
- A story about the Crazy Cat Lady. The story ends with the woman angrily throwing her cats at Lisa.
- A story about an old train track. Just as Lisa states that "the old Union Pacific doesn't come by here much anymore", a Union Pacific train speeds past her. When the train passes, the Crazy Cat Lady is seen on the other side of the tracks and throws more cats at Lisa.