• New article from the Springfield Shopper: The Simpsons Christmas Double Episode Exclusive to Disney+ this December!
  • New article from the Springfield Shopper: Season 36 News: The stories which the segments of “Simpsons Wicked This Way Comes” are based of have been announced!
  • New article from the Springfield Shopper: The Next Episode Will be Pamela Hayden’s Last – Milhouse’s Voice Actress Is Retiring!
  • Wikisimpsons needs more Featured Article, Picture, Quote, Episode and Comprehensive article nominations!
  • Wikisimpsons has a Discord server! Click here for your invite! Join to talk about the wiki, Simpsons and Tapped Out news, or just to talk to other users.
  • Make an account! It's easy, free, and your work on the wiki can be attributed to you.
TwitterFacebookDiscord

Asphalt Bungle/Quotes

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki



Kent Brockman: ...And that's why we have Daylight Savings Time. In other news, "Springfield's Wealthiest", an annual list of the richest people in Springfield, was published today. Montgomery Burns holds the top spot for the 74th consecutive year. But the real surprise came at #245: Local panhandler, Grifton Boozler. This homeless man's salary is reportedly well into the six figures!
Homer: Six dollars an hour... and that's street value! Who knows how much that is in real money?

Carl Carlson: Hey, Homer, me and Lenny are going to that new vending machine at the end of the hall for lunch. Wanna join us?
Lenny Leonard: I hear it's more a vending experience than a meal.

Homer: Kind sir, my wife ran off with a war veteran who will work for food. Can I have some money?
Man: No.

Homer: Homer Simpson. Wow, what an honor. You're the whole reason I got into this business. You're a legend.
Grifton Boozler: Mr. Simpson, I'll be blunt.
Homer: Okay.
Grifton Boozler: Your presence is making my associates on this corner uncomfortable, and that is bad for business. We are prepared to buy you out. Here.