Another One of Professor Frink's Partly Probable Parables: Bart Version 2.0/Quotes

Quotes

Professor Frink: [Ahem] Hello, children. Today's tale of technological terror is a tantalizing tidbit of tampering with terabytes! [nng-hey] In Layman's terms, it is a cautionary tale about playing with god's most natural wonder... the computer. There are some forces that man is not meant to control as explained in... Another One of Professor Frink's Partly Probable Parables: Bart Version 2.0

Bart: This bites. Why do I have to clean your lab? Nelson was the one that egged you car.

Professor Frink: I tried to get Nelson to clean it up, but he's always with the kicking and the punching and the [woo-hoy] "Don't hurt me!"

Bart: Well, at least you could pay me.

Professor Frink: Sorry, there's not enough moola in the budget. My grant barely covered this mink lab smock and the diamond-encrusted wind tunnel. [nng-hey]

Bart: C'mon, c'mon! No, I don't want 1000 free hours of AOL. Stupid pop-up windows.

Bart: Whoa-ho! It's like having the Internet shot into your brain. Hmm... sure are a lot of girls on this thing.

North Korean leader: Finally, South and North Korea will be reunited! This is truly a historic occasion!

North Korean assistant: Won't the American be surprised? You're a genius, sir.

North Korean leader: Oh, wait a minute, Seems I'm getting an e-mail from South Korea. Must be Kim Dae-Jung wishing me a happy birthday. [reads the email] I stink?! How dare he make fun of my gastrointestinal problem!

North Korean assistant: I, for one, enjoy your flatulence, sir.

North Korean leader: Tear up the treaty! Now there shall never be peace! Never!

Professor Frink: But, Mr. Rock, the test was inconclusive! If you'll let me build the solid gold wind tunnel, I'm, sure—Good glavin! It's the end of the world with the fire and the dying and such! I'll have to call you back, Mr. Rock.

Homer: Boy, what did I tell you about dooming all of mankind?! Go to your room!

Lisa: Professor Frink, surely if the Bart virus is sentient, it can be reasoned with, just like Bart.

Professor Frink: No-no, I tried that, and it destroyed by credit rating and legally changed by name to "Rosie Buttcheeks" [nng-hey]

Professor Frink: Great glavin! We don't have much time! If my theory is correct, the virus is becoming increasingly more unstable. If it has attacked Milhouse, it will turn on anyone!

Bart: An interesting theory, but the truth is... with my short attention span and loose understanding of ethics, I could turn on anyone. For instance, I was bored this morning, so I rigged Milhouse's fanny pack.

Milhouse Van Houten: Ow! My fanny!

Professor Frink: Humanity had looked down the gun barrel of annihilation, which, for a moment, was held by a spiky-haired hooligan. But "science", as we all know, is a fickle mistress with the surprises and the flip-flopping and the discovery and whatnot. That's why I have dedicated my life to understanding "her", so we may never again tempt our own destruction. [nng-hey]