The Curious Case of Hans Moleman/Quotes
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- Lisa: Maybe I can find something significant in these old photo albums. Oh, look! Here are pictures of Grampa during World War II with his squad, the Fighting Hellfish? Hmmm? What's this? is that... Hans Moleman? I didn't know he was one of the hellfish!
- Grampa: He wasn't!
- Bart: Whatever you say, Grampa.
- Grampa: Why, you—I remember every detail about the war! There was me and Asa and Iggy and Sheldon... ...but not Moleman.
- Lisa: Mr. Hurlbut, we're looking for any books on Springfield Military history.
- Hollis Hurlbut: Hmmm. The best choide would be David Halberstam's Springfield: An Overlooked Mistake, but it was recently checked out... by this young man from the university.
- Benjamin: Here are you books back! I got a lot of research done!
- Bart: What th--?! Lis, check this out! This is a photo of the first Whacking Day in 1924. See anyone familiar?
- Lisa: Hans Moleman again?!
- Bart: And here he is at the founding of the nuclear plant.
- Lisa: [GASP!] He hasn't aged a day...
- Bart: Here's one from the fool's gold rush! That was in 1862!
- Lisa: He's everywhere!
- Grampa: Kids, you're back! I knew you wouldn't abandon me!
- Lisa: We're just here to talk to Hans Moleman about his ancestors.
- Bart: Or about how he's a time traveler!
- Grampa: Oh, that balderdash! Moleman's not a time traveller!
- Lisa: Finally! Something logical out of Grampa's mouth!
- Grampa: He's immortal!
- Lisa: Oh brother...
- Bart: All right!
- Grampa: He said he used to own a home in Jacksonville, Florida. And, as we all know, that's where the fountain of youth is hidden!
- Bart: I knew it!
- Lisa: I knew there was a logical explanation for all this! I suppose the mind fills in the blanks it can't comprehend. We were willing to believe that Mr. Moleman was a time traveler, a genetic anomaly, or even a three-hundred-year-old-man!
- Hans Moleman: Silly girl, Im not three hundred years old! Not at all..
