From the Desk of Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: My Bottom 40

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From the Desk of Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: My Bottom 40

Comic Story information Released: Summer 1993 Comic series: Simpsons Illustrated Pages: 1

From the Desk of Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: My Bottom 40 is a list first printed in Simpsons Illustrated #9.

My Bottom 40

1. Trying to stay awake 24 hours a day.
2. Flesh wounds
3. The screams of customers who burn their tongues on the microwave bean burritos
4. Refunds
5. The annual two-week downturn in sales while Homer Simpson is away on vacation
6. The lonely hours between 3 and 5.A.M.
7. People who wish to get change without making at least a $10 purchase
8. The unflattering manner in which the overhead security camera photographs my bald spot
9. Wondering whether Squishees are as nutritious as they say
10. Dairy-product expiration dates which are printed in non-erasable ink
11. Wondering why the young hooligans are always nickering about their "five finger discounts"
12. Jimbo
13. Dolph
14. Kearney
15. Bart Simpson
16. Homer Simpson's complaints that my heavily salted snack treats are not salty enough
17. Skateboard skidmarks on my freshly waxed floors
18. The eternal conflict between my immigrant work ethic and the allure of the local foxy ladies.
19. The disappointing sales of my homemade curry-flavored crunch-treats
20. The insulting Kwik-E-Mart employee burial plan
21. The tempting lurid magazines that I sell my but must not look at, least my vigilance wander from the important duties of a convenience store clerk
22. Sweaty customers fumbling through the jerky jar
23. Eating meals from food bought in my own store
24. The infernal way the door bongs every time a customer enters of exits
25. Customers who wear pantyhouse over their heads
26. Scrubbing the dumpster out back until it's springtime fresh
27. The quite painful way the cash register drawer slams into my stomach every time I ring up a sale
28. People who browse more than seven seconds before making a purchase
29. The persistent stickiness on the floor surrounding the Squishee machine, no matter how hard I mop
31. Having to mend my shirts every time I get shot
32. Dodging bullets
33. Finding half-eaten packets of cookies on the shelf and seeing suspicious crumbs on the chin of Bart Simpson
34. The time I accidentally drank some concentrated Squishee syrup and had to go to the emergency room
35. The bitter moans and curses of Homer Simpson every time he sees the numbers on his Scratch & Win lottery tickets
36. Absent-mindedley eating my own corn chips
37. Trying to catch a quick nap in the cooler
38. The pungent aroma of a heat-lamp dog that's been cooking for two weeks
39. Sleeping with my eyes open
40. Robbers who are so rude!