The Ten Commandments of Bart

"The Ten Commandments of Bart"

Song Information Singers: Nancy Cartwright Characters: Bart Simpson Length: 6:08 Writer(s): Matt Groening Greg Haver Album: The Yellow Album

"The Ten Commandments of Bart" is the fifth track on The Yellow Album. It is a rap song done by Bart with some help from Lisa, Maggie and Homer. The song was written by Simpsons creator Matt Groening and Greg Haver.

Lyrics

(Lisa plays a sax riff underneath low synth pads)

Bart:

Ha ha ha ha ha!

(piano comes in and the song begins in a mid-90s 'house' style)

Singers:

Thou shall have fun!

(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)

Thou shall have fun!

(If you wanna be happy!)

Thou shall have fun!

(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)

Thou shall have fun!

Bart:

Ladies and gentlemen, hello, it's Bart again.

Here to mention rules that I'd like to recommend,

'Cause like it or lump it, this is Simpson-style,

And this I demand: Don't touch that dial!

I got your attention, so you'd better listen up!

Dance if you must, but please don't interrupt!

'Cause the singing I'm slayin' comes straight from the heart.

I call this little song "The Ten Commandments of Bart".

Singers:

Thou shall have fun!

(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)

Thou shall have fun!

(If you wanna be happy!)

Thou shall have fun!

(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)

Thou shall have fun!

Bart:

Let us begin with commandment number ten:

Thou shalt be sure to shake your big rear end.

Shake it for your mama, and shake it for when

You wanna party-harty and get down in the den!

Getting funky in the rumpus room would be kinda hip.

You bring the chips, I'll bring the bean dip.

By this, I mean shake your bootius maximus,

Make everybody happy, give them satisfactimus!

Now comes a time for commandment number nine.

It's goes something like this: thou shalt always make rhymes.

'Cause rhyming is a way, man, to make your own news.

Better than CNN, better than Family Values.

Don't get me misconstrued, I'm not tryin' to be crude,

But a bad attitude will put you in a good mood.

It ain't true that our culture's in a decline,

Just listen to the super-fine, spine-shaking bass line.

(bass synth solo)

Now you're itchin' and twitchin' to this mucho bewitchin',

The hip-hop tune that I'm presently hatchin'.

Hold on to your hats, because here come the scratchin'!

(dj does some scratching and the song stops abruptly)

Who did that?

(song immediately restarts)

Let's cruise, shall we now, to commandment number eight,

Goes exactly like this: Thou shall procrastinate!

Put another way, this means you must be late,

Whenever you can, make everybody wait.

When homework is due, don't give in to fate.

But do say: teacher, guess what, the dog ate it.

Of all the commandments, none can be greater...

If you want more details, come back later!

Singers:

Thou shall have fun!

(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)

Thou shall have fun!

(If you wanna be happy!)

Thou shall have fun!

(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)

Thou shall have fun!

(song switches styles to Satanic heavy metal)

Bart:

Movin' right along, here's commandment number seven:

Thou shalt go wild, 'cause you'll never get to heaven.

You don't say "No," you do say "Yo!"

You hear bad songs, turn up the radio.

Then, when you're dead, Fred, where you gonna go?

You're going down low, where the rocks grow.

The whole scene looks like a heavy metal video

Except no guitars, 'cause, wouldn't ya know,

It's swell down in hell except...

The Devil plays the banjo.

(banjo solo!)

Ha ha ha ha ha!

(back to original house style)

Next up here is commandment number six,

It goes like this: Thou shalt dance like lunatics.

Try to get movin' and shakin' and groovin'

And hoppin' and moppin' and flippity-floppin'.

(the beat drops out)

Hey, what happened? Beat box is broke.

Maggie, come here quick, I'm starting to choke.

Come on girl, here's the deal, I'm really stuckin',

I need your help, so, Maggie, please start suckin'.

(Maggie sucks her pacifier rhythmically)

Oh, yeah, that's it, that's what I require,

An inspired baby sister with an ultra-hip pacifier.

(beat comes back in, but Maggie continues to suck)

And now we arrive to commandment number five.

Short and sweet: Thou shalt be alive.

Take off your pants, strut around in the nude.

If somebody sees you, say "What's happenin', dude?"

Oh, yeah, now we're starting to soar.

The countdown continues: commandment number four!

I say unto you: Thou shalt slam the door.

Wake up the neighbors, that's what it's for.

Slam it again. Slam it some more.

Now you got a beat that never happened before.

Singers:

Thou shall have fun!

(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)

Thou shall have fun!

(If you wanna be happy!)

Thou shall have fun!

(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)

Thou shall have fun!

Bart:

Which brings us on to commandment number three:

Thou shalt question authority.

'Cause authority hates curiosity,

Which leads straight to originality.

From there, my friends, spontaneity.

And the downward spots straight to mockery.

Then a hop and a skip to mutiny.

Then mutiny leads to anarchy.

Then a...

(Homer cuts Bart off)

Homer:

Bart! Knock it off! Turn it down!

Bart:

Okay, okay. Here's commandment number two:

Thou shalt do exactly what you wanna do.

Get a tattoo, eat a honeydew,

Raid a taboo, paint your head blue.

If you're bald, go buy a toupee.

If you're starved, go eat a souflee.

If you're crazy, get on the subway.

If you're bored, dance on the freeway.

If you're sexy, put on negligee.

'Cause this is what I have to say:

Hurray for horseplay, gotta have horseplay.

Besides that, man, eh, what the hay!

And now, at last it's commandment number one.

Put quite simply,

Bart and Singers:

Thou shalt have fun!

Singers:

Thou shall have fun!

(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)

Thou shall have fun!

(If you wanna be happy!)

Thou shall have fun!

(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)

Thou shall have fun!

Thou shall have fun!

(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)

Thou shall have fun!

(If you wanna be happy!)

Thou shall have fun!

(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)

Thou shall have fun!

Thou shalt have fun!

Lisa:

That was pretty cool, huh? (giggles)

Appearances

• Album – The Yellow Album

The Yellow Album
Love? • Sisters Are Doin' It for Themselves • Funny How Time Slips Away • Twenty-Four Hours a Day • The Ten Commandments of Bart • I Just Can't Help Myself • She's Comin' Out Swingin' • Anyone Else • Every Summer With You • Hail to Thee, Kamp Krusty • My Name Is Bart