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Scared Straight... To Jail/Quotes

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki



Homer: I can't take it any more!
Marge: You can't take what any more, Homer?
Homer: You know, Marge... Bart! I'd swear that little monster is out to kill me!
Marge: Oh, Homer, you're exaggerating! Bart may be a bit overenthusiastic, but he'll always be my special little guy!

Kent Brockman: This is Kent Brockman with a special report from state prison, where young lawbreakers get a startling dose of life behind bars!
Homer: Oooh, it's one of those "scared straight" programs! I just love seeing young hoodlums get intimidated by hardened prision inmates!
Kent Brockman: Although the youngsters haven't actually been arrested, "operation: tough love" intends to discourage them from following a life of crime!
Homer: This is way more entertainging than Marge's stupid ol' magazine!

Bart: This is totally bogus! I demand to talk to a lawyer!
Lou: Calm down, kid! I don't wanna have to get out the taser!
Bart: Hey, don't tase me, bro!
Eddie: After all, this whole thing was arranged by your father here!
Bart: It was?!?!
Homer: That's right, boy! Like it or not, you're gonna see the bad stuff that happens to troublemakers first hand!
Marge: I certainly don't recall "brainfood" magainze suggesting this method of correcting children!

Clancy Wiggum: Get that Simpson kid! He's the one behind this whole riot!
Eddie: Yeah! [Gasp!] [Gasp!] I only gave up smoking last month!
Clancy Wiggum: Boys, the next time Homer Simpson calls and asks me for a favor, remind me to hang up!
Bart: You'll never take me alive, coppers!
Lou: Aw c'mon kid, give us a break and give up!

Homer: B-but pointy-haired kid, you weren't due back home yet for another two hours!
Eddie: Hey, that kid's not scared of anyone... or anything!
Homer: And he looks awfully chipper! I thought he was gonna be scared to death!
Bart: Hiya, Homer!
Lou: Yeah if anyone was scared, it was us! Your son nearly organized a hostile takeover of the jail by our inmates!
Bart: Yeah, better watch out, Homer... I might decide to organize a takeover right here!
Homer: Why, you little--! Maaarge?!! Where'd that copy of "Brain-Food" magainze go?
Marge: Oh, Homie did you finally change your mind about using its advice to deal with Bart?
Homer: No, I'm gonna swat him with it! Repeatedly!