Squishee
The Squishee (sometimes spelled Squishy or Squishie) is a frozen drink sold at the Kwik-E-Mart.
General Information
Squishees are reputed to be dangerous to health, allgedly containing no natural ingredients, not even pure water. They have been described as "a thick, gloopy, tooth-rotting mixture of crushed ice and syrup."
Squishee syrup comes in a variety of flavors (listed below). Consistent with the Squishee's general unhealthfulness, Squishee flavorings can cause hallucinations if ingested in sufficient quantities[1].
Apu once had the Squishee machine at the Kwik-E-Mart replaced with one for a similar drink called the "Smooshie," which came in flavors such as "shopping bag" and "dog fur." The Smooshie did not go over well with Apu's customers, and the Squishee quickly returned[2].
It is possible, but difficult, to make a Squishee entirely of syrup. The syrup level has to be adjusted from "Recommended Dosage" past "Unhealthy Dosage" to "Experimental," and there is a risk of damaging the machine in the process. Also, in an all-syrup form, the Squishee cannot be drunk through a straw and is decidedly hallucinogenic[1].
Flavors
- Blue
- Red
- Lime green
- Chutney
- Wheatgrass
- Champagne
- Twenty-One Syrup Salute[2]
- Chinese New Year
- Plum
- Raita
- Squish of Death - black in color, causes spontaneous vomiting
- Hi-Protein Beef
- X-Mas Red
- X-Mas Green
Behind the Laughter
The Squishee is a parody of the Slurpee sold by 7-Eleven.
Appearances
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